How Often Should You Be Blogging?

August 22, 2012 by 24 Comments
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Here we are in week 4 of our Social Media series; many of you have let me know how much you appreciated the topic of blogging. Some of you even told me that you are thinking about starting a blog yourself.

There are so many ways to go about blogging, really. It is just fun! I always tell people, if you like to encourage others and you like to talk; blogging is for you. It really might be your thing to do. There are others out there that need to hear your story; something that you know or something that you have experienced in your life.

Think about it; how much fun that would be.

Anyway, today my good friend Elizabeth will be talking to you about a few more details about blogging. She is a lot of fun.

Here is Elizabeth Maness:

 

 

How Often Should You Be Blogging?

by Elizabeth Maness

We’ve read tons of posts on this subject and it seems like everyone has a different opinion and there is no right or wrong answer. The only one who can determine how often you should be blogging is you. I am about to give you the best blog tip ever so listen up and take notes.

The best way to determine how often to blog is to first determine what your goals are as a blogger. People blog for different reasons and those differences will determine how often you should be blogging.

What Are Your Goals As A Blogger?

To truly get this blog tip, you have to first identify what your goals are as a blogger. Are you blogging for your business primarily to help drive more traffic to your site? Are you blogging to provide value to your readers with the expectation to monetize your blog through ads and affiliate programs? Some people blog for personal reasons with no intention other than to share with others and build a community. So what are your goals?

Personal Blogging

There are a ton of personal bloggers out there; those whose sole purpose is to simply share with the world their own personal experiences and stories, grow community, and connect with like-minded people. Figuring out how often to blog if you are a personal blogger is simple. It’s always a good idea to have some consistency. Create a schedule of some kind and train your readers when to visit your blog for new updates.

The one truth about blogging frequency that rings true no matter what your blog is that the more pages there are on your site to index in search, the more chances you will receive more traffic from search.

Blogging for Business

Blogs that are attached to your business website are a little different in nature. The main purposes of your blog should be to add value to your readers, establish your authority and expertise in your industry, and to increase search engine traffic. It would never be a bad thing to blog every day, if you can come up with enough relevant, compelling content, which can be a challenge.

We tell our clients that at a minimum they should be updating their blog twice a week, on consistent days, every week. If you send out an email twice a week, making those days the same day you update your blog is a good idea, that way you can include the link to your updated info in your emails.

When Blogging Is Your Business

So your blog is your business. What do you think you should do? As with any business activity if that is the primary way that you are making your income, or if you want that to be the primary way you make your income, then you should be going blog crazy.

It will be more important for you to have fresh, relevant, engaging content updated very frequently. You want to have as many pages as you can index in search engines, as most of your income will come not for referrals, but from search engine traffic. If blogging is your business then you should blog every day.

If you can’t imagine updating your blog that often, or find that you have trouble coming up with content at that rate then fill your days with guest posts to help out and also bring additional traffic to your site. The more you blog, the more you will be successful at driving traffic to your blog. And when blogging is your income, traffic matters a great deal.

So to sum it up, there is no real answer. Consistency is essential and there is no way to deny the benefits of blogging more often. What are some things you have learned about the frequency of blogging? Do you have any blog tips to share?

 

 

 

Elizabeth Maness
CEO AssistSocialMedia.com

Owned and operated by Elizabeth Maness,mompreneur, building business branding and relationship using social media since 2003.

 

 

 

 

 

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How To Train Your Children To Make The Right Choices

August 12, 2012 by 33 Comments
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How To Train Your Children To Make The Right Choices

by Olga Hermans

 

My children are all grown up now; I have a daughter and a son. I love them both; they are on fire for God and desire to serve Him with everything they have. They are truly a blessing to me and my husband.

But….if I would have a chance to do everything over again, I would spend less time on teaching my kids to obey me and spend more time teaching them to make wise choices. I remember the times that I thought it was the most important thing for them to obey us as parents. That is how I had grown up and so I didn’t know any better.

And of course, don’t misunderstand me. It is good for children to obey their parents, but it is better for children to hear directly from God and obey Him because they want to.

So, what are we doing when we make all the decisions for them? They won’t know how to make decisions for themselves.
There are so many areas in life where they need to know how to make a decision and how to choose for themselves. You can start with things that really don’t matter; things where they don’t sin when they make the wrong choice.

I remember when one of my children wanted to build a friendship with some body that I knew wasn’t the right choice. I knew that this friendship wasn’t going to last for more than one reason, but she wanted to hold on to that choice just to find out later that it really wasn’t what she had expected from it and it was a short friendship.

So, now she knew that some choices that seem to be right are not always right.

Then there comes a time that your children get older and you need to allow them to say no to you at times. For example: you might want to go to a particular restaurant for lunch, but your children don’t like it. It’s okay to let him or her make some of the decisions as long as it is not rebellion or manipulation.

Another important aspect of teaching our children to make right choices is allowing them to experience the consequences – good or bad – of their choices.

You and I as parents want to “rescue” our children from experiencing the negative consequences of wrong choices. When we do this, and we all do, we actually teach our children that it is okay to make a wrong choice because someone will always be there to save them and in the end, we set them up for failure.

Remember Eli in the Old Testament with his sons: Hophni and Phinehas. Eli should have taught them and warned them about the wrong things they were doing; they were dishonoring the Lord and defiling the temple and their own temple. But, Eli never confronted them and kept them employed as priests at the temple, which was not a good thing. The Bible says, “their sins will never be forgiven.”(Samuel 3:14)

This is difficult for us as parents to confront our children for certain things. I am much more confronting with our children than my husband is. I know the heartache of being in the unknown of some things in life and I have wished many times that my parents would have informed me of certain things. My father was a hard working business man, but he never talked to us about what he had to do to come that far.

He only told us that money didn’t grow on trees and that we had to work hard to make some money. So, when he died at 57 years of age, we all were in the unknown and experienced some heartache in our lives.
You see, if we rescue our children from certain consequences in life, we are not allowing the law of sowing and reaping to operate in their lives.

Here are 4 ways you can help your children make the right choices

1. Allow your children to make their own choices some of the time and as they get older; allow them to say no to you as well. When you do, it lets them feel independent and it shows your children that you trust them.

2. Let them experience the consequences of their choices; the good, the bad and the ugly so to speak. If you protect your children from the bad consequences, they will never learn from their mistakes.

3. Teach your children to follow their conscience; this should be fun! Every child loves to learn this; it makes them feel responsible for themselves. Every child has a conscience. Why do we as parents always have our kids check with us when they have to make a choice to watch a certain movie or read a certain book? We should be training them to listen to that red and green light on the inside of them.

4. Last but not least, we need to teach our children to think right thoughts, because our choices are a product of what we have been thinking about.

I think that most children don’t even realize that they have choices. We owe it to our children to teach them that they have control over what they think. That is the only way that they can have control over their own life. We as parents don’t have any control over what they are thinking, even God doesn’t have that control; we need to inform our children that what they think and speak will eventually become their destiny.

I truly believe that if we do these things we empower our children to make the right choices; they will do mighty exploits on the earth because God’s blessing will be upon their lives.

You can subscribe to The Daily Choice which brings an encouraging message 5 days a week to your inbox by clicking here 

 

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How Your Family Can Benefit from Social Media

August 8, 2012 by 42 Comments
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Today is another social media day and my friend Mandy Edwards talks about how families can not only benefit from social media but embrace it in a way that it is fun and bring our relationship with our chilren even to a higher level.

Using social media is among the most common activity of today’s children and adolescents. Ok, there are some risks inherent to online social networking, but there are also many potential benefits. Social networking can provide opportunities for new relationships as well as strengthening existing relationships, whether your kids’ friends are close to home or across the world. It’s important to be vigilant when your kids are getting involved in online social networking, but it’s also good to encourage positive relationships through various avenues, including the Internet.

I know you will enjoy today’s post from my friend Mandy who I also met in the same business networking group online where we learn and receive input from each other. So, I will not put you on hold any longer; here is Mandy!

 

How Your Family Can Benefit from Social Media

by Mandy Edwards

How Your Family Can Benefit from Social Media

“Okay sweetie, let me take a picture so I can post it on Facebook for grandma.”

“I saw where you tweeted you ate at Olive Garden!  Was it good?”

“Oooh, I love the pin of that recipe you made last time you were home.”

Any of these sound familiar?

Social media has integrated itself into our lives – both professionally and personally.

I always blog about how social media can benefit your business, but today I’m blogging about how families can benefit from social media.  Yes, families can benefit.

Example: me.

Born in Iowa, I moved to Missouri when I was 10, then Georgia when I was 16.   I have lived in a lot of places.  My mom was an Army brat.  My dad lived in one town for the first 28 years of his life.  Moves and military have my family spread everywhere.  My parents live in Louisiana, I am in Georgia, my sister is in South Carolina (until October, then the Marines are moving them to Southern California) and my extended family lives in Missouri, Texas and Tennessee.  Without social media we would have such a disconnect.  But thanks to it, we stay in touch more than we did B.F., you know, Before Facebook.

Social media does a wonderful job of keeping grandparents up on what their grandkids are doing.  Parents overseas in the military can Skype each day with their loved ones back home.

Social media is meant to be social.  We can let those who cannot be with us be a part of our lives.  I know my mom appreciates seeing all the pictures of the things my two girls do – she feels likes she’s here while being 12 hours away.

Some benefits of families using social media are…

  1. More Involvement – when families use social media to stay in touch, they are more involved in each others’ lives.  It’s like a family reunion when everyone is on!
  2. Closer Relationships – by staying involved, relationships can become closer.  I know with my mom on Facebook, I message back and forth more than we talk on the phone.  Having that ongoing conversation helps with communication.
  3. Parents can keep up on their kids – If you are friends with your kids, then you can see who they are interacting with.  And trust me, you will want to do this.  I am still thankful we didn’t have Facebook when I was in high school and college.
  4. Sharing the Love – Memories.  Remembering past events.  Family members can post pictures of loved ones gone before us and share the great memories they had.  You can see a loved one’s wedding pictures if you couldn’t make it.

Of course, there is always a flip side to the benefits, but that can be another post on another day.

In the grand scheme of life, communication is key.  Social media provides an effective and efficient way for family members to interact.  With the launch of Google+’s Hangout, multiple family members can video chat while living in several different states.

In today’s world, families are busy and there is a communication breakdown.   Family dinners are a thing of time gone by – fast food dinners in the car between dance and ball practice are the norm.  Teens spend more time with their noses down texting.  Video games keeps tweens glued to the TV.  Social media brings all of them away from this and allows them to video chat and interact with their family members, especially those who do not live close.

What are some ways your family is benefitting from social media?  Comment below!  I’d love to hear!

About Mandy Edwards

Mandy Edwards is the owner of ME Marketing Services, a marketing firm in Statesboro, Georgia that specializes in social media marketing for small businesses.  The local go-to person on spcial media, Mandy is a momprenuer , President of her local chapter of BNI – Business Networking International and 2013 Chair for her local Relay for Life.

For more information on Mandy, please visit www.memarketingservices.com.  You can also follow her on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter (@memktgservices).

 

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3 Things You Need, to Discover The Life You Were Born to Live

August 5, 2012 by 37 Comments
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3 Things You Need
to Discover The Life You Were Born to Live

by Olga Hermans

#1. A Plan

The purpose of life is to discover your gift, which means that you need to discover the things that you like to do. If you are inspired and motivated to “Discover The Life You Were Born to Live” and make a difference with your life, then you must have a plan. Nothing will just happen automatically. The primary reason why most people do not succeed is because they do not plan. Planning is one of those lifestyle choices.

This morning my husband and I were talking about some things that we want to do with our life. He said a few things that just hit home to me. “Yeah, yeah, that’s where we’re going” was my quick reaction to it. And I saw it so very clearly what we are going to do in the next few months, the next year and the next five years.

I’ve discovered that most people do a better job at planning a trip that will only last for a week than they do planning their life which is a lifetime. A lot of people do not succeed simply because they do not plan. God didn’t just wake up one morning and said, “You know, I think I will make a universe.” That is not how God operates. Nothing that God does is by coincidence. God is the master-planner.

If you are one of our valuable readers, you have read a few times that we have talked about the fact that God has a plan for your life even before you were formed in your mother’s womb.

You know as well as I do that if you want to be a doctor, then you have to make plans to be a doctor. If you want to own a business, then you have to make plans to own your own business, and if you want a better life, then you have to make plans for a better life. All of that is a choice.

So many people live for the moment. Whatever happens, happens. What will be, will be. You are not going to experience God’s best with that attitude. It takes planning. Success in any endeavour requires planning and planning is a choice. If you never succeed at anything, it is simply because you didn’t plan to succeed. Success doesn’t come easy, if it did, everybody on the planet would be successful.

Just a few weeks ago I was at a party where some of my friends shared that they had gone through very stormy conditions in their life. Life can be full of stormy conditions and that is why you need a plan. With a plan you can maneuver through life’s storms much easier.

A person who never sets goals is like a ship without a rudder; a ship without a rudder is like a person who just wanders aimlessly through life. Aimlessly wandering is like depending upon which way the wind blows. There are a lot of people like that today.

#2. Positive thoughts, words and actions

This universe is governed by certain laws, which were put into motion by God Himself. One of them is called the law of gravity. This works for everybody the same way because it is a law. If you let go of a book in your hands, it will drop on the floor. If a baby rolls over to the edge of a table too far, it will fall on the floor. This law of gravity cannot decide that because the baby is a baby, it will not go into affect.

If you don’t want to be a failure, then you have to learn certain laws that produce success. One of these laws is also the law of seedtime and harvest; or the law of cause and effect. The way you live today is the result of the seeds sown in the past. If you don’t like the way you live, then you have no one to blame but yourself. So, if you don’t like the harvest, stop planting it.

I want to encourage you to take the time to sit down and carefully look at what you have been doing that is preventing you from having success. Most importantly, take time to listen to yourself. Whether you realize it or not, you are applying the law of cause and effect or as the bible calls it, the law of sowing and reaping every time you speak.

In my new book “Pursue your Destiny with Passion and Purpose” I cover this subject in great depth. It is a very important subject and we need to learn to apply this law and put it to work for the contentment and happiness of our life.

# 3. Perception

In order to discover the life you were born to live, you have to learn how to become perceptive. Every problem has a solution. Many times people fail, because of wrong perception. By changing how you perceive your problems, you can literally change your life from failure and defeat to victory and success.

You know the story of David and Goliath. When David saw Goliath, his perception of that challenge was totally different from that of his brothers and the entire armies of Israel; they perceived Goliath as too big to kill. When David looked at him, he thought he was too big to miss. Same giant, same problem, a different perception.

You and I are created by God to succeed and not to fail. Success does not come without adversity; there is no such thing as success without adversity. Most people run from it though.

Learn to look at every situation, every problem, and every challenge with a different perception that your problems are subject to change. That is how you can endure anything.

If you don’t like the way you are presently living, then it’s time to make some choices. If you don’t like where you are, then you have got some decisions to make. One thing you have to do for sure is to Pursue Your Destiny with everything that is within you. Stir up your passion to make a plan, to think on good things and let those thoughts come out of your mouth. Use your words as the rudder on that boat and decide to take some action. You will see your life from a totally different perspective.

You can subscribe to The Daily Choice which brings an encouraging message 5 days a week to your inbox by clicking here 

 

 

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Using Social Media Strategies To Relate To Your Partner

July 31, 2012 by 31 Comments
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Today is a special day; I am so excited to introduce to you my friend Susan Preston who writes on relationships and social media strategies on her blog. Susan and I have met in a business networking group online where we learn and receive input from each other. I know that you will receive something new from her today concerning your relationship with your partner using Social Media.

Here is Susan; enjoy her post!

 

 

 

 

Using Social Media Strategies To Relate To Your Partner 

by Susan Preston

 

Just about everybody uses some kind of social media site these days. I just finished commenting on what are the essential elements that are necessary when using social media on a facebook post. Then it hit me, what if we spent even half as much time on Relating with our partner, as we do with our friends, potential clients and clients…can you imagine how much better our relationships would be?

Since we go to relationships to give and share, by using the five strategies that you use everyday when you are on your social networks you will find that you have even more so to bring to your relationship. I believe that you will find that it will help you to relate with your partner at an even deeper level, thus bringing your relationship to an Extraordinary place!

Five Steps On How To Use Social Media Strategies To Relate To Your Partner:

Be You:

It is so important to be yourself in your relationship. By embracing who you truly are and tapping into your true Magnificence and then sharing yourself with your partner, it will help them to feel like they can do the same and be themselves. Don’t try to be like you think they want you to be, but rather who you really are.

By continually filling yourself up with love, joy, happiness, self-esteem, honor, respect and worthiness, etc. you will be able to share yourself at a much more deeper and meaningful level. Now you have two people who are building a relationship who are totally comfortable being themselves, that is a Win-Win situation for everyone!

Listen Attentively:

You need to listen to your what your partner is saying. They maybe sharing with you their problems and frustrations and if you are so busy trying to do other things while they are talking, you may miss the true meaning of what they are trying to say. Make it about them! Really listen generously, to what they are saying not what you think they are saying. Reflect back on what they said to make sure it is accurate. Tune in to what they truly need and feel what’s going on underneath it all. It is so important to make them feel that they are being heard and that they truly matter! By giving them your undivided attention, they will feel like they are a priority rather then as an option in your life.

Engage:

After you listen to them, engage with them. Acknowledge what they are feeling. Give your input into the situation in a kind and loving way. Sometimes, just by acknowledging what they are feeling is all that is necessary. If there is a way to help them, do so. Don’t go overload them with your opinion. Your partner may not always remember what you say, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Give:

Since relationships are a place that we go to give of ourselves, by filling yourself up with all the goodies as I call them [love, honor, respect, etc.] you will have even more to give of yourself on a consistent basis. You see you cannot give to others on a consistent basis what you don’t give to yourself first. A lot of times people try to do so, but end up feeling drained and empty and don’t feel like they have anymore to give.

Making it about them at times makes them feel that you appreciate them and you know yourself, when you feel appreciated you want to give even more. People love to feel that they are a significant part of their partner’s life.

Share:

When you continually fill yourself up with all of the goodies, you will find you are much more creative and inspired. Thus, as a result you will be able to share yourself as well as your creativity and inspiration to help with a challenge that your partner maybe going through. Share who you are and some of the great things that are happening in your life and business, but do it graciously. By doing this, you will help your partner to feel comfortable about sharing who they are.
By using these five strategies, it will take your relationship to that next Amazing level. You might even want to message them privately on facebook and ask them on a hot date. We spend so much time using our social networks why not get creative using them to relate to your partner! I would love for you to comment below how you might use social media to relate to your partner, thanks!

Is your mindset keeping you from growing your business? If you would like more help with this or if you are having challenges in any of your relationships, Susan would love to help. Click on Free Consultation and Susan will give a free 30 minute consultation to answer any pressing questions that you may have to give you the clarity that you may need, in order to move in the right direction.

Susan Preston is a Mindset Motivator & a Relationship Mentor. Susan can empower you to Master your Mindset and Ignite your Relationships by helping you to get the clarity to take your life and business to that next Amazing level. She brings a lifetime of experience to help you create that balance in every area of your life so that you are truly living your Dreams! You can see more of Susan’s work at http://SusanCanHelpMe.com.

 

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Your Season Can Shift With One CHOICE

July 29, 2012 by 54 Comments
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Your Season Can Shift With One CHOICE

by Olga Hermans

Sometimes it feels like we need a shift in our life, we are in the middle of the wilderness, that there are no roads or even signs that lead anywhere. Even if you would have a choice, you are not expecting anything good; nothing exciting at all. I’d like to share a few things with you that might change your way of thinking; a powerful insight about understanding your own times and seasons.

We all know that God loves us and that He wants the very best for us no matter what. His desire for us is that we prosper in every area of our life. We want His will to come into our life because that is the very best for us. He created us and placed our gifts and talents on the inside of us and in a way that makes us dependable upon God. By the way, God likes that and it helps us if we like that.

God is all-powerful and unstoppable and holds our times and seasons in His hands. But the thing is that many people relegate the season they are in to God’s sovereignty. Oops! Big mistake! They give everything into God’s hands as if He made us a robot. They leave the breakthrough in their life, or getting their life to a better place up to God. It’s all up to God to heal them whenever He wants it to happen and then they wait for it. They think God wants to teach them a lesson.

Others have said concerning the call that’s on their lives, “When God wants to open a door for me or use me in a certain way, it will just happen.” And they sit and wait and wait and wait.

We are more involved in our destiny and the season and times that we are living in than we realize. You remember when Jesus came to the well and met the Samaritan woman “by accident”? Her life was all messed up and bound in immorality; she knew no way out any more. Here she was, just going about doing her daily tasks like any other day. Here she is at the well and meets this man who knew everything about her life and still wants to talk to her. That was very rare for her. From that day forward her whole life was changed around.

You see, this woman was open to a change in her life and seized the moment so to speak. Her messed-up circumstances made her desperate and longing for a change. Her eyes were opened to who Jesus was and went and told it to everyone in her town. Her season was shifted in one single moment.

There are so many stories and situations in the Bible that show us that when Jesus shows up, things drastically change. I remember in my own life when my husband and I went through a very difficult time in our marriage and we thought that the only way out was a divorce. We were meant for each other, but circumstances and family situations had brought too many hardships, and we just wanted to give up.

But Jesus showed up at a moment we didn’t even know Him yet, but He turned the whole situation around in 1 moment on 1 day. After that, the word “divorce” went out the window which was the best decision we ever made.

Your season can shift with one CHOICE! You see, sometimes we need another person to speak into our life for our life will move forward. But WE have to be willing and we have to be open!

In order to make the right decision that can change your entire life and launch you into your new season, you have to have faith that is produced by clarity of vision. Every fear, every doubt and every distraction must be thrown out of your heart. You must learn to trust yourself and gain confidence and the way you do that is by living out of your spirit, not your soul.

Our emotions, our will and our mind make up our soul; our emotions can drive us away from the path that we need to go. Our thoughts can keep us captive in fear and doubt. Our will can be so passive that we don’t even want to make a choice. That is a bad situation waiting for a disaster to happen. You need to be able to take your will and change gears and tell yourself to get up and create a change in your life.

Engage your will in what YOU want to do and bring all your feelings and stinky thoughts under submission to your will and if you have your will submitted to the will of God; good things are going to happen. God WANTS you to prosper, so whatever you are confident in doing, start doing it! Our will is a powerful thing. If we don’t want to yield to the will of God, nothing is going to happen.

So many people are soul-driven, while God is calling us to be Spirit-led. God speaks into our spirit; He gives us ideas and witty inventions to create wealth. He has empowered us to create wealth. So, let’s engage our will and step up to the plate and do it! Will you do that?

You can subscribe to The Daily Choice which brings an encouraging message 5 days a week to your inbox by clicking here

 

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Don’t Be Controlled and Manipulated

July 25, 2012 by 30 Comments
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Don’t Be Controlled and Manipulated

 by Olga Hermans

 

God has placed a divine destiny on your life. As you begin to walk in this destiny, you will not only have to deny yourself, you’ll also have to say “no” to others when the demands they place on you are in conflict with how the Holy Spirit is leading you.

If we are overly committed and caught up in meeting other people’s needs, it may be an indicator that something is out of balance. Our first priority is to seek wisdom regarding any commitment. For a season, the Holy Spirit may lead us to give sacrificially of our time and ourselves. But God is our source and we need to always stay connected to Him with our spirit, soul and body.

Taking proper care of ourselves is not selfish when it’s for the purpose of being a fit vessel. How can we be of service when we are depleted spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally? It is possible to carry this idea too far and become preoccupied with our own interests at the expense of serving others. That’s not what I’m suggesting. But I am saying that we cannot be continually responsible for others’ poor choices.

Many believers take on burdens and responsibilities that they were never intended to bear. We think we must meet every need we encounter. For some, it’s very easy to habitually take on others’ responsibilities. Those habits, left unchecked, can lead to believing that it is our job to keep everybody happy. It is one thing to be used of God as a source and it’s entirely another to take on others’ responsibilities to the extent that WE become their source.

And those who have no intention of carrying their own burdens, or of being responsible for their own choices, seem to have a sixth sense as to who are these hyper-responsible Christians. They seek them out like a heat-seeking missile, ready to offload their own God-given destinies and responsibilities on these willing burden bearers. Although they may not be aware of it, these people want to manipulate and control you. The truth is that some people don’t want to be helped; they don’t want to change. They like the attention their problems bring them. If we seek the Holy Spirit about our commitments, He will guide us as to whether to become involved or not.

It’s upsetting, frustrating, and discouraging when we find that we’ve made a wrong choice of taking on way too much responsibility for someone who won’t do what is right. Being responsible for someone else’s lifestyle choices and happiness is a heavy load.

It is not God’s intent for us to be controlled and manipulated by people who refuse to make good choices. We cannot be responsible for anyone else’s happiness. Even Jesus did not promise to give us happiness – no questions asked. Instead, His Word instructs in the way that leads to joy. If others are controlling us, it’s not their fault; it’s our own. We must be led by the Spirit to set appropriate boundaries. For example, don’t allow people to call at all hours of the day and night to dump their problems on you.

My oldest sister, who is mentally ill, still lives in The Netherlands. I don’t know how she did it, but she could make me feel so guilty whenever I didn’t do whatever she wanted. A few years ago, I would call her every day at the same time to speak scriptures over her life. She really enjoyed it and seemed to be doing so much better.

At some point, my husband and I scheduled a conference in Dallas. My sister expressed how afraid she was to have to miss our daily calls, so I agreed to call her every day while we were in Dallas. I disrupted my schedule and my focus on the conference to call her at our agreed upon time, but she wasn’t in. She had gone to a movie. I finally realized that even though she is mentally ill, I had to respond differently to the expectations she placed on me. My decision to set boundaries with her was very hard on me, but I had to do it.

Quit trying to be the keeper of the universe. That is not your job. Of course, it is not easy at first. God calls us to be givers and care for each other. But there is a big difference between caring and giving and allowing somebody to control you and make you feel guilty until you do what they want.

Will you choose to free yourself from being a people-pleaser and give those people to God?

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How Can You Make That One Choice?

July 22, 2012 by 47 Comments
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How Can You Make That One Choice?

By Olga Hermans

You are very special to God and He gave you the freedom of choice. So, since God created you and me to make decisions, then we can be sure that He has also given us the proper way to make those decisions.

The gift of free will is one thing that characterizes God as a Father. He gives us His guidelines for life in His Word and then allows us to make our own choices. We have the power to choose a life of blessings or curses. Our future is completely in our hands.
God can’t and won’t make us do anything, and the devil certainly can’t force us into anything we don’t willingly agree to. For this reason, the responsibility for the direction of our lives is in our hands.

Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to make a choice to do something, but knew deep down in your heart you should be doing the other thing? What do you do in a situation like that? How do you know which choice to make and know that, that is the best choice?

Let’s picture the scales in an old grocery store that were used to weigh out how many ounces of candy were in a bag or something. Both of the scales have a balance point in the center. If the objects on both sides are the same weight, then the sides will balance. If one side is heavier, then that side will go down and the other side will go up. A seesaw on a playground would give the same picture.

If you want to make a quality decision, you must determine the weight or value you will give to those objects you are choosing. Only after doing that, can you decide between the choices. Only then can you say no and choose between the different options that you have, right? You are giving weight or value to the things on the scale. This is a very important step to making a quality decision.
Many times people make important decisions without judging the options, without weighing the positives and negatives, without determining what that decision will mean to them in the long run.

This is a process that goes on all the time even when we might not be aware of it. Let’s have a look at this example of a woman buying a pair of shoes. Her decision to purchase a particular pair of shoes will be determined by what is important to her. It depends on the situation; some determining factors might be color, comfort and style. She might be looking for a color to wear with a particular outfit that she already has.

If she finds shoes in the correct color, she may buy them even if the fit bothers her a little. On the other hand, she may be looking for high heels for a formal occasion. She might try on a pair of shoes that are very comfortable but have low heels.

No matter how comfortable they may be, she will tell the clerk, “No, that’s not what I want.” Even in this ordinary, routine action, she will think the situation through and outweigh one or the other.

It is not difficult to make a decision if one choice greatly outweighs the other. Sometimes though, each of the choices has great value and you have to choose between them.

God told Moses in Ex.3:10 to go to Pharaoh and bring the people of Israel out of Egypt. Moses valued the situation which meant that he honored the situation. He put the choices that he had to make in the balance. His desire to obey God was much greater than the treasure he had in Egypt.

Just because you know what you should do, does not make it easy. And certainly this was not a simple decision for Moses to make. As “The Son of Pharaoh’s Daughter,” Moses held a position of great wealth. He was in the royal line and entitled to an inheritance. He probably knew he would become king himself some day.

Have you ever had to consider giving something up – something you knew you should give up – then you began to think about how much you liked that thing, or how hard you had worked for it or how long it had taken you to get in that position?

Has God ever given you a dream that has caused you to be so excited that you were not able to sleep at night? Then, as time passed without the dream becoming a reality, you may have lost your enthusiasm in pursuing that dream? Perhaps you even questioned whether it was from God in the first place.

Many times our dreams do not become reality because of the decisions we make in our lives. Your course in life depends on the decisions you make. Don’t let your God-given dreams fade away. It is time to dust off your unfilled dreams and go for it!!
Today is a great day to start weighing your choices and to determine to make quality decisions.

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7 Vital Choices You Have To Make In Life

July 17, 2012 by 46 Comments
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7 Vital Choices You Have To Make In Life

by Olga Hermans

#1: Make a choice to take a stand in your own life
It is one of the most frustrating things when we have the idea that our own life is just rolling down the road. Sometimes there are seasons in our life that we don’t even realize what is going on and why things are the way they are.

Do you realize that you are a unique individual? Do you know that there is not one other person in the whole world like you? God made you special, just the way He wants you. He has a unique purpose for your life. Realize that, and you are on your way to being a winner.

#2: Make a choice to be responsible for your own life
You cannot dodge responsibility for how and why your life is the way it is. Take ownership of your own life. If there are things in your life that you don’t like; you probably made a wrong choice somewhere. If you are in debt, you are the one that is responsible. Your job, your weight, your marriage; you are responsible.
There is absolutely no reason to blame others or look at the past. There is no victory and no progress in doing that.

When you choose to think and speak negatively, filled with anger and bitterness, you will experience isolation and hostility around you. That is something that you don’t want, right? Start making right choices from now on. When you choose the right behavior and thoughts, you will see the right results in your life.

#3: Make a choice to do what works
Somehow you have to discover the payoff that drives your behavior. This is a biggie. If we would realize what consequences our behavior would have in the long run, we wouldn’t be so tolerant of ourselves. Who wants to be lonely and bitter and hostile? No-one in their right mind would want that.

I know people who have a self-destructive behavior. My sister died of anorexia nervosa last year because she rejected herself, she punished herself by always asking for negative attention. Remember, you are EXTRA-ordinary because you are one-of-a-kind. When you have even a little self-love and self-worth because of your awareness of God in you; you will start developing Christ-motivated habits that will make you a winner for sure.

#4: Make a choice to acknowledge the issues you want to change
You only can do that by getting real and getting brutally honest with yourself. Look at the areas that aren’t working for you and stop making excuses.

You cannot afford to lie to yourself! You have to know where you are in life and where you want to go. Your life is like a GPS system in your vehicle that must have two pieces of information to function. First, it must know your destination, and second, it must know your current location.

#5: Make a choice to take action
Once you’ve made some decisions, you have to act. Nobody cares about what you think unless they see you do something. Talk is cheap; being a doer determines the course of your life. Take all your revelations, insights and awareness and convert them into purposeful and constructive actions. That is when your life will gain value and meaning.

Realizing you have to change might be painful, but staying where you are and not doing a thing is more painful. So, take the pain that burdens you have now and turn the situation to your advantage.

#6: Make a choice to take charge of your life and hold on.
Our life needs a manager and you are the one! God has given us authority to rule our own life. You really should make it your objective to be very active in doing that. Do it in a way that generates high quality results. You are the only one who can make your life work.

The key to managing your life is to have a strategy. You need courage and energy to execute that strategy. If you do have a strategy, the future looks bright for you. You know, if you don’t require much of yourself, your life will be of poor quality. If your standards are too high, you will give up and you will have more difficulties.

#7: Make a choice to get clear about what you want.
When you know what you want you can take your turn. You need to be awakened to things God has for your life; He has an awesome plan and a purpose for you here in the earth.

By being specific in defining your goal, the choices you make along the way will be more goal-directed. You will recognize which behaviors and choices support your goals — and which do not. You will know when you are heading toward your goal, and when you are off track.

What choice is your most favourite choice and which one do you struggle with the most? 

 

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Iron Sharpens Iron

July 10, 2012 by 66 Comments
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Iron Sharpens Iron

by Olga Hermans

Have you ever thought about who you want to hang out with? I want to be around people who are hungry for God. They have a sense of direction in life, but they also have this hunger for God and in this hunger for God they want to please God with their lives. I love it when people know where they are going and know what they want to do.

I love to be with them and let it rub off on me. I listen to them and ask them how they got where they are now from where they were. What was the most important choice that they made in their life and what was the worst. How do they make tough choices? What motivates them and so forth.

It is very important to know to whom people listen to. I think that, that is very important to know because you want to have the same source of influence in your life. Sometimes people are in church with great issues in their lives, they try to fight great temptations, but they are scared to go to somebody and be open about their life. So, they keep it to themselves and keep it as a secret. We need accountability in our life.

You know, when iron sharpens iron, sparks are going to fly! One person is chasing after God and the other person is not chasing after God, so when you confront a person on issues that are ungodly, sparks are going to fly.When there are no sparks flying then it is probably not a relationship where iron sharpens iron. But we need someone who is going to confront us on pride, selfishness and lust.

What about personal greed and jealousy? You want to be with people who are going to challenge you to take you forward in your walk with God and in your walk in life.You know, friends that you are able to bounce things off on and when they are able to put you in check; you are going to put them in check as well.

You actually need three types of people in your life:

1. Somebody who pours into you, somebody that you gain knowledge from; the ins and outs of life. Someone who helps you to stay focused on your vision that you so desperately like to accomplish.

2. Somebody that you can bounce things off on; somebody that can challenge you and build you up if necessary.

3. Somebody that you can pour into, all the knowledge that you gained can now flow into the life of somebody else.

Col 1:3-5 says: The Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.

We need that, don’t we? We need comfort, but then there are times that there are other people that God calls us to bless in a relationship. They need what we have to speak into their lives. Most importantly we can have relationships where we can confess our faults one to another so that we can be healed.

And at the same time, we can affirm each other; “I believe in you, I know that God has great things in store for your future, this is not the end; things like that seem to encourage us in a great way. Prov 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Ecc 4:9-10 “Two people are better than one because together they have a good reward for their hard work. If one falls, the other can help his friend get up. But how tragic it is for the one who is all alone when he falls. There is no one to help him get up.”

Two heads are better than one.
~John Heywood

Walking with a friend in the dark is
better than walking alone in the light.
~Helen Keller

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
~Arnold H. Glasow

You weren’t meant to go through life alone. God created you for a relationship. Relationships that will encourage you and strengthen you and challenge you. But more than anything, God wants a relationship with you Himself. God wanted a family from the very start; He wants you as a part of His family.

You can make a choice today to surrender your life to Him. He is a very good iron sharpener 🙂 Most important is that He loves you no matter what.

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