Your Marriage Is Important To God

November 18, 2012 by Olga 15 Comments

Your Marriage Is Important To God

Is your marriage important to you? It is to God. And if it’s important to Him, it should be important to you. If that’s not the case, it would be good to change your priorities. We pay attention to those things that are important to us.

I have known my husband since he was 11 and I was 13. That is a long time to know someone and we are more in love than ever. We recently celebrated our 32nd anniversary. We are blessed with two beautiful children who love the Lord. But our current happiness was threatened at one time.

Lost And Without Hope

About 25 years ago, before we had a foundation in the Lord, our marriage was in trouble. Neither of us knew how to fix it. Suddenly, the challenges all marriages face began to snowball and we both decided to split up. We were lost and without hope, in terrible shape in every area of our lives.

My kids’ welfare was the only thing that was important to me and I decided to focus on them and not on myself. I devoted myself to giving them all the attention they needed. That was one of my best decisions at that time. Bit by bit, I began to get my thoughts together. But everything was still very, very painful.

A Strange Resemblance

After a few weeks I received a phone call from a friend who asked me to go to an Amway meeting with her. As part of the program, a couple gave a testimony about how their marriage had been restored after their decision to divorce.

As I listened to their story, I noticed how much the husband resembled my husband. It was almost if my husband were standing on the platform saying things such as “You must fight for your marriage” and “Your struggle is worth it” and “Stick with your partner and work things out.”

I had no clue that God was working in me and on behalf of our marriage. God had a miracle for me and our marriage right there in front of me. Not yet being a Christian, I didn’t recognize God’s hand in my situation. BUT…..I yielded to the goodness that was portrayed through this couple’s testimony. They told us that their miracle was possible for everyone. So, I decided that I would be that “everyone” in my situation.

I was so excited…especially since this man looked so much like my husband. I returned home where my husband was babysitting our children, filled with joy and hope. I told him what I had heard and asked him if he would like to try to make our marriage work. He said, that he had been thinking about the same thing all night. Well, isn’t that just like God?

Marriage Restored and Ready to Be Born Again

So, we made a mutual decision to come together again. With the help of friends, we worked through some hard places in our marriage. A few months later we were born again. It was the best day of our lives. And here we are at 32 years of marriage. Praise the Lord!

Later, my husband and I returned to one of those meetings where I had heard the life-changing testimony. I wanted to tell that couple how much their testimony had blessed us, and tell them our testimony, of course. This time, to my surprise, the husband didn’t at all resemble my husband. My perceiving him that way was part of how God worked a miracle for us. He wants to do the same for you if you will yield to His goodness. God is a good God. He loves you unconditionally. His mercy is there for you all the time. Receive it by releasing all that bitter junk that is compromising your marriage.

Six Key Ideas To Elevate the Importance of Your Marriage

If you want to begin putting the same importance on your marriage as God does, I Peter 3:1-13 provides six key ideas to make your marriage stronger and to help you grow together as husband and wife.

1. Adapt yourselves (I Peter 3:1 AMP)
The Amplified Bible translates submit as adapt yourselves to them. Submit doesn’t imply being a doormat. To adapt means to “fit and flow together.” It is a wonderful thing when a husband and wife flow together in everything that they do and in everything that they envision in their life.

2. Honor your mate
When you honor someone, you treat them as you wish to be treated. Do you wish to be treated as a king? Then treat your mate in the same manner. If you are the king, treat her like a queen. If you are the queen, treat him like a king. Your act of honoring will return honor to you.

3. Be of one mind (I Peter 3:8)
It takes effort to be of one mind (one in thought), but it is possible. We need to grow in our communication. We also need to be able to receive and give correction to one another. In order to give correction, you must be able to receive it.

4. Show compassion to one another
You need to be able to feel what your mate is going through. The KJV version tells in 1Peter 3:8 that we need to be courteous; I always appreciate it when my husband is courteous to me.

5. Do not render evil for evil
Whatever you sow, you will reap (Galatians 6:7). This is true for every area of life. Plant a seed of love when your mate is going through a difficult time, or when you’re in a situation prone to strife. Don’t join in the strife with your mate. Sow mercy and love into the situation, and you’ll see your mate change before your eyes. You will reap what you have sown, good or bad.

6. Flee evil situations
Run from the appearance of evil. If you’re in a situation that’s a temptation to you, whether it’s on the job or wherever it might be, obey the warnings your spirit gives you.

It is really important that you not only love each other, but that you appreciate each other as husband and wife

To Sum It Up

Whether your marriage is in the valley of despair (like mine was), mundane, or on the mountaintop, it’s important to pay attention and do things to nurture it.

Filed Under: Marriage Tagged With: anniversary, Born Again, focus, God, God’s hand, happiness, husband, husband and wife, life-changing, marriage, priorities, Resemblance, Restored, testimony, the Lord, wife

How You Can Learn to Love Yourself

September 23, 2012 by Olga 28 Comments

How You Can Learn to Love Yourself

You and I are uniquely designed for such a time as this; for a specific purpose. We all have different personalities, gifts, skills, talents, preferences and experiences. God never intended for us to be a clone of someone else. We should embrace, love and accept the masterpiece He has created each of us to be.

We all remember the experiences from when we grew up from childhood into adulthood as we go through different experiences; some are positive and some are negative. Apart from how or why we go through some of these experiences; God can use them to our benefit.

These experiences help to shape and mold us into the people that we become. As we grow and develop as individuals, we gain a concept of who we are and what we were created to do and achieve. Gaining a concept of who we are and loving ourselves unconditionally empower us to live an authentic lifestyle.

Embrace Who You Are

We must appreciate ourselves. Although it may not be a reality for some, when we look in the mirror, we should see one of the best people we know. It is important that we know ourselves better than we know anyone else, all our flaws included and be able to see ourselves as an unique and beautiful individual, empowered by God to succeed in every area of our lives.

We were wonderfully made by a loving God who does all things well. He purposely made us for a time such as this. Though others may resemble you and play some of the same roles as you, there is only one you; and only you can do what you have been created to do.

Knowing and Loving Who We Are

When we know and when we love ourselves as we are gives us the ability to live freely. When we take the time to appreciate the gifts and the abilities placed within us, we can appreciate the gifts and talents of others.

Taking the time to discover and develop the things that we are good at and interested in helps to nurture and cultivate our abilities so that we are always striving to be the best we can be for ourselves as well as for others.

Sometimes we run into challenges as we try to embrace our self image on our journey to self-realization. I dealt with a lot of insecurities when I was young; I still remember how uncertain I was in some situations. It almost prevented me from discovering the life that I was born to live and to know God’s plan for my life.

I was always seeking after the approval of others; as I learned to walk in the image of Christ and see myself the way God sees me, I started to overcome many obstacles step by step.

While we need to be able to relate to others and enjoy their company, we also must learn to do so without being oppressed by their opinions. We never should be in bondage to other people, because that is what it is.

I am so glad that God showed me a way out; He will do the same for you. Although there are times when it tries to return; you and I need to remind ourselves that we are free. Through all this self-realization and acceptance, I was able to make a quality decision.

Either I was going to remain the insecure person I had been for years, or I was going to be insecure in who I was. I chose the latter, and once I started on my new journey toward self-acceptance and self-love, I began to focus on fulfilling my God-given purpose.

Eliminate Being Critical

When we are critical or when we are overly critical this means that we have a negative outlook on life. We tend to look at others and everything with fault finding, harsh accusations, humiliating attitudes and a tendency to unfairly judge ourselves as well as others.

Critical people tend to look down on everyone in a negative way in an attempt to build themselves up. The word critical actually means to find fault or to judge with severity, often times way too fast.

Being critical is opposite to God’s nature. He does not focus on the negative aspects of anyone and anything. He is love, and His very nature is to see the best in everyone and every situation. Therefore, we should not be quick to find fault, but to believe the best.

We do not have to be naive and unrealistic. However we can choose to see things from a positive perspective that agrees with God.

When we begin to read the Bible on a regular basis and understand God’s character, our thoughts will agree with Him. We will begin to understand that if we are to walk with God, we must agree with His plan. God can, and will, use everything He has placed on the inside of us for a specific purpose.

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Filed Under: 1 Your Thoughts Tagged With: authentic, Being Critical, bible, choice, Christian, daily, discover, experiences, focus, gifts, God’s character, God’s plan, How You Can Learn, Knowing, learn, lifestyle, love, Love Yourself, Loving, Olga Hermans, personalities, perspective, right choices, self image, skills, talents, Who We Are, Who You Are, wonderfully made

What Is Your Focus?

September 3, 2012 by Olga 3 Comments

What Is Your Focus?

by Olga Hermans

As we go through life, it is very important that we choose our focus. Choosing a positive approach keeps us connected to the reliable lifeline of hope God has placed in each of us. In some instances, we focus on our circumstances such as our health concerns or our financial situation.

For example, when the doctor gives us a bad report, we start to worry and begin to place our focus on the news that just has been given to us. What we should do is having our focus on the truth of God’s Word. God says that you are healed.

So when the doctor’s report differs from the authentic report God has given us, we have to choose to focus on God’s Word. Even through the most tedious moments in life, we have to muster up the courage to activate our faith by believing His Word.

A Positive Outlook

Focusing on positive solutions and possible alternatives during difficult times helps us to maintain a positive outlook on life even when circumstances seem hopeless. By exercising our faith, we stretch and position ourselves to experience the miracles God has in store for us.

Some circumstances that occur in our lives have a way of dimming the positive aspects in our life. It’s not that positive things don’t exist after negative situations have occurred; rather, it is the shift in our thinking that causes us to give more attention to that which is negative and less to that which is positive. As a result, the positive can rarely be seen and enjoyed. It is like the old cliché, we can’t see the forest for the trees.

Focus On The Positive

Staying positive in a negative world is not easy, but it can be done. In fact, it must be done if we want our faith to continually increase. To live a positive life, we must intentionally focus our attention on good things. The Bible urges us to fix our thoughts on things that are true and of good report.

God never asked us to focus on the economy, our bank accounts, or other challenges we face. He knows those things will discourage us and cause us to cave in and quit.

Your bank account balance may not be where you need it to be right now. Your job security may seem a bit shaky, and your marriage may not be as fulfilling as you desire. But it doesn’t help to focus on the negative aspects of your situation.

These things are temporal, which means they are subject to change. Instead, thank God that you have a bank account, job, or marriage. Seek Him for the answers you need and allow Him to direct your path.

Focus More On God

The key to having a positive outlook on life is to focus more on God and less on the challenges we face. He is the only One who can sustain us while we’re going through the rough spots in our life and bring us out better than we were before.

There are times when focusing on the positive is a lot harder to accomplish than those around us might imagine. Very few people know the impact negative emotions can sometimes have in our lives. And every now and then, they may tell us to “get over it!”

While getting over it is what we want to do, it is much easier said than done. Sometimes life shocks us in such a way that it leaves us completely numb! I’ve been there. When my parents passed away, I simply wasn’t prepared. Nobody in our life had seen that coming, but even if we had, dealing with their absence in our life would have been less painful.

Other People Need Us

You too might have experienced some form of loss: the death of a loved one, divorce, or job layoff. Perhaps you’re dealing with a setback related to a relationship, your health, or finances. There are people who struggle with deeply rooted issues that sometimes lead to feelings of low self-esteem and hopelessness.

Unforgettable events such as physical, verbal, and mental abuse, abortion, alcoholism, drug addiction, prostitution, and even incarceration can be overwhelming. The truth of the matter is that despite the origin of the negative or unjust circumstances we encounter, God is always with us. In Him alone we find the strength to grow and the courage to move forward.

Maybe none of these examples quite fit your current or past circumstances, but chances are, you know someone in your family, community, or workplace who is dealing with one of these or similar situations. Although you may not be completely aware of the challenges the person is enduring, your positive attitude can have a tremendous impact on their recovery.

Just as we want others to be sensitive toward us, we must also be sensitive toward them. We may never know why a person thinks or behaves the way he or she does, but we can be the positive force in their lives by demonstrating love, compassion, and respect.

Filed Under: 6 Your Destiny Tagged With: abortion, alcoholism, circumstances, compassion, connected, death of a loved one, demonstrating love, divorce, drug addiction, emotions, finances, financial situation, focus, focus on God, Focus On The Positive, health, incarceration, job layoff, low self-esteem hopelessness. physical abuse, mental abuse, miracles, need people, negative emotions, outlook on life, Positive Outlook, positive solutions, prostitution, relationship, report, respect, verbal abuse, what is your focus