We are all in need of great friends, isn’t it? We have friends that we have polite chats with, and then there are our best friends. They’re the people who root for you, no matter what. You tell them your deepest, darkest secrets, and instead of heading for the door, they stick around and your bond with them grows stronger.

My friend and my daughter has a blog about friendship and I asked her to be our guest today with one of her posts. I truly hope you enjoy it as much as I did; you can go over to her blog and let her know @ Frienship Spice; don’t forget to let us know here on the Choice Driven Life as well, ok?

Characteristics of Friendship –
What It Takes to Be a True Friend

by Josephine Hermans

Best Friends

EVERYBODY wants a true friend. Friendship makes the world go ’round. If it weren’t for friends we’d all be a bunch of lonely people living for ouselves, no one to give to, no one to look out for, no one to share memories with, not even anyone to talk to. Friendship gives us purpose. If it wasn’t for people around us, we would be living out of ourself and living for ourself, how boring is that. So here are a few characteristics that make up a true friendship. A friendship you need to invest in, and which you can expect to receive from.

* Balance.
A friendship is a two-way street. The responsibility of a true friendship cannot lie heavier on one side than the other. You cannot keep receiving without giving.  You cannot keep giving without receiving. We are not tallying up brownie points here, but there does need to be give-and-take mentality. If there is no balance, the friendship won’t last long. Meet in the middle. Don’t expect your friend to always call you, to always come to your knick of the woods, to hang out at your house. Initially at the start of a friendship you may see yourself or someone else investing more into the friendship, but eventually it will need to balance out. There needs to be a balance so that each person feels free to share, enjoy, and be themselves as they both have the same amount of “stock” in the relationship. If there is no balance, you or the other may find yourself holding back, holding grudges, or even having bitterness.

* Loyalty.
Loyalty provides and instills trust in a relationship. Once loyalty has been proven, trust is given to the other person. Once you have sacrificed something in order to stay loyal to the friendship, a deeper connection is released. A connection of trust in which both persons are able to lay down barriers or walls and feel free to be themselves or show secrets, because a more safe environment is created. Also, an appreciation for the sacrifice and in turn the friendship is established which creates a stronger bond.

* Honesty.
Honesty is needed for several reasons. First of all, you cannot build anything on lies, especially not a true friendship or any sort of relationship. Honesty about who you are, where you come from, what you believe, what you stand for are all important aspects that give a true picture of who you are to your friend. Honesty is also needed in times when “tough love” is needed.  As a true friend, you are in a position to help steer the direction of your friends’ life, and being honest about certain decisions your friend is making can help save them a bad investment, a bad relationship, a bad career choice or even saving them from embarrassment!  The opinions of true friends are taken in deep regard, so be honest about your opinions instead of necessarily telling your friend what you think they want to hear.

* Common interests.
I have seen pairs of friends who don’t look like they “should” be best friends, but in reality, they have common interests and common grounds for why they like to spend time with each other.  You can have friends that have different political beliefs, religious beliefs, different interests, but a true friend has a common ground that you respect and therefore you want to give this person a higher position of influence in your life. You believe in what they believe. They are at a place you want to be in life. They have values you appreciate and want to have in your own life. Common interests can also be certain hobbies you have, like volunteering, sports, music, travelling, or whatever. If one of you wants to spend most of their time cooking at home and adventuring in the kitchen, and the other much prefers to go out and be around people, it can become a point of tension which will create a limit on the friendship. Therefore, common interests and activities are needed.

* Time.
True friendship isn’t established overnight. Time is needed to get to know each other, create memories, and share life experiences which all draw friends closer to each other and create a closer bond. Both people involved need to want to invest time to see each other, do activities together, drinking coffee, talking, travelling, shopping, getting to know their family etc. to get to understand your friend. The time you spend together and get to know each other, the more you appreciate their opinions and the more you become a “go-to” friend for doing fun things, or calling up when honest advice is needed.

SoooO,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Many People Will Walk
,,,(,,,,),,,,,Oooo,,,,,In & Out Of Your Life,
,,,,,,(,,,,,,,(,,,,),,,,, But Only Real True? Friends,
,,,,,_),,,,,,,),,/,,,,,, Will Leave Footprints In Your Heart
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(_/,,,,,,,, & Memories That You Will Hold Locked Inside Forever

Post/Tweet this: Many People Will Walk In & Out Of Your Life, But Only Real True Friends, Will Leave Footprints In Your Heart. #TheDailyChoice

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What is the ONE thing that you can take with you when you leave this earth? Not your money! Not your possessions!

Right Relationships For Life

But relationships, people that we are connected with in the gospel and in the Kingdom of God here on this earth, they are not going to end; we will take our relationship with us into heaven. Have you ever thought about it that way? Our relationships are very important!

Heb 13:15-16 By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name. But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.

So, your first communication is with God. God wants you to talk to Him and to praise Him. He is not on an ego trip; He just knows that when you get your mind off from your problems and you start worshipping Him that he can work in your life. God never quits believing in you, no matter what is happening.

Then He talks about relationships with other people, with others around you, your family but also with other people around you. He tells us not to forget to communicate. Fellowship with one another.

God shows us in His word that we are in need of relationships. People can fail us, people sometimes don’t meet our expectations, sometimes people are rough around the edges, we need them, we need people and we need relationship around our life. No man is an island to himself. God created us with this need for relationships in our life.

You know, in the day we are living in it is sometimes hard for people to have relationships. People get real busy, they are busy in providing for their family and they are going from here to there and they feel that they don’t have time for relationships. But God wants to have relationships that can speak into our lives and receive from, but also relationships that we can give into. It is not always that we only can take from relationship; we have to give into relationships as well.

We live in a society right now that is very self-focused, self-centered; what is in it for me? If I can benefit from this relationship, I’ll be in it but if I don’t benefit than I am not in it. Some of your relationships are not going to be about you! Some of your relationships are going to be about other people.

We in a technological society, many people have learned to communicate through Facebook. I met some great people on facebook, but if we just rely on facebook and we have no other relationships around our life we can experience moments that we feel alone. It is very important that we make the effort that we not be alone, because the devil wants to take people out in this hour. When the devil can get people apart from other people that are able to speak into their lives, he can start speaking to them. He is a liar; he speaks lies and begins to convince them that they are not valuable or because of all these things, you might as well end your life. Those are lies. The enemy wants to destroy us. Jesus came to give us life! So, we have to make an effort to have relationships.

More than ever we need more than these on the surface relationships with people; we need to have some deep level communication. How do you find those relationships? First you have to be around people until you feel comfortable with being around them and you sense in your heart that they have a same heart for God and a same spirit of humility and desire for a relationship like you do. Then you will find people that can sharpen you, like iron sharpens iron.

You are around people until you locate those kind of people that you can open up with, we all need it.

There is a football player Brady James from Dallas Cowboys; he shared in his testimony how he had to break off wrong relationships in order to follow Jesus Christ. 1 Cor. 15:33 says “don’t be deceived, wrong relationships can corrupt good morals”. He saw that in his life, so he had to change his relationships in order to have relationships that were going to help him.

Let me close here with 4 Facts of the importance of right relatedness

1. It will protect and deliver you – 1 Corinthians 15:33 – “Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits.’”

2.  It will see us through hard times and give us the ability to then help others – 2

Corinthians 1:4 Message – “He comes alongside us when we go though hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.”

3.  It will provide accountability in our lives.

4.  It will help us get past hurts and forgive others and be reconciled where there have been broken relationships – Matthew 18:15-20, Isaiah 1:18.