4 Causes For Conflict (Part 2)

4 Causes For Conflict (Part 2)

by Olga Hermans

 

When you really think about how diverse our society, our communities, our neighborhoods and sometimes even our families are. There are so many people with different backgrounds and cultures around us with different perspectives and approaches to life, it shouldn’t surprise us that we have many opportunities for conflict and that it becomes a part of our life.

Let’s have a look at some examples out of the bible and see what is most important to our conflicts. We can make a choice and let God work on the inside of us so that that particular conflict will not come back any more because it is dissolved by the power of the Holy Spirit.

How does conflict begin? There are several reasons why conflict and strife happens:

1. Different Personalities.
When people with different personalities come together, conflicts can happen. You might have heard somebody say about another person sometimes that people are prophetic motivated and come across really strong, others are mercy motivated or teaching motivated. Never let you personality be a copout for what God wants to do in changing your life.

I don’t want people to say “that’s just Olga”. Because if that is the fact I have settled into being the way I am and not willing to be changed. Until Jesus returns I need to be willing to be changed from Glory to Glory. I can continue in my personality but I have to let my personality to be tempered by the work of the Holy Spirit.

2. Different backgrounds.
Conflicts happen because of different backgrounds. In Numbers 12: Miriam and Aaron was Moses’ older brother and sister, Moses married a woman not of his race. Miriam addressed it because she didn’t think it was right. There was conflict over an interracial marriage and not only that, but there was a conflict because Miriam said: “does God just only speak to you only? God speaks to me and Aaron too.”

There was a conflict of respect in leadership. Moses didn’t want to argue with her and said: “just let God decide in this conflict.” He took a humble position in it. Miriam got leprosy and she was put outside of the camp. Her attitude ended up separating her from the people that she was called to be with and that she loved. Her attitude separated her. Aaron wanted Moses to pray for her because Miriam was their sister. Moses did that, he interceded for her, Miriam was healed and she came back into the camp.

I can guarantee you that Miriam never had that problem again.

3. Lack of communication.
Lack of communication can cause conflict; this is a biggie! Conflict comes when one doesn’t tell something to the other party that they need to know, when the moment arises that one of the two finds out that he/she doesn’t know about a certain issue or situation. Lack of communication can create a lot of conflict.

Prov.13:17 say: reliable communication can permit progress. Frustration ends where communication begins. That is very good statement that you can use in every relationship. When we do not communicate, people get frustrated. They don’t know what to do or they are not prepared to do something.
Another thing that can really frustrate is “selective communication”. People only give you what they want you to know. Luke 12:2 says that the hidden things will be revealed.

People can hide things, but ultimately it gets exposed. After a while people get sloppy and they reveal themselves. I have seen people cheating on their spouse and after a while it gets revealed. God wants us to have relationships where we are hiding things and there is an honesty and openness.

How you communicate is as important as the communication itself. You have to choose to communicate in the love of God, because what you sow you are going to reap. Choose to communicate with humility and with mercy filled with the love of God

4. Jealousy and Resentment.
Jealousy and Resentment can create conflict. James 3:16 says “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work”. Strife means self seeking ambition, more concerned about yourself and fulfillment of your own wants and desires than meeting the needs of other people.

When there is jealousy, resentment or there is strife; there is confusion. Strife creates a conflict but it also causes confusion in the person.

Genesis 4 tells us about the first conflict between of Cain and Able. They were brothers. God had already given Adam and Eve and their family a way of approaching Him. They had to bring a blood sacrifice; the blood of an animal in order to approach Him. Why? The blood would cover their sin to come into the presence of God.

Cain brought the first fruits of his hands, of his work. Have you ever asked yourself why God didn’t accept his offering? God rejected his offering because God had already given them the way to approach Him was a blood offering. Because ultimately God knew that He was going to send his Son to be the blood offering for our sins, to cleanse our sins so that we can come boldly into the presence of God and if we think we can come with our works to be saved. Then we are missing it, because our works cannot save us. Only the blood of Jesus can save you from your sin.

That doesn’t mean that your works don’t make any difference. Our works do make a difference, because after we are saved Paul tells us that we have to work out our salvation with fear and trembling, knowing that God now is at work in you to help you. Faith without works or corresponding actions is dead.

Cain brought his offering because he wanted God to confirm his works. It is not works that affirm us before God; it is our humility where we come before God and say: “God, I need you and I offer myself to you. I ask you to cleanse me from my sins so that I can come boldly into your throne of grace.

The conflict was resentment and jealousy on Cain’s part. He killed Abel, because his jealousy ate at him.

We have to let deal with our conflicts on the inside of us. Emotional issues that never get resolved cause conflict. There are children that grow up in homes where there is abuse, control, manipulation, screaming and yelling, harsh words, cursing and critical words that go on. Parents think that it doesn’t matter, but they are creating a time bomb.