The Art Of Resolving Conflicts (Part 3)

 

The Art Of Resolving Conflicts (Part 3)

by Olga Hermans

 

Unresolved issues in your life need to come under the control of the Holy Spirit. We live in a world right now where there is fear, intimidation and abuse going on. We as Christians, if Christ is in us, should have the Holy Spirit working at something all the time ; that way we grow from Glory to Glory and become more like Him. He will change us when He really has Lordship in our lives.

Do you remember Lee Harvey Oswald who killed President Kennedy? His father died when he was born, his mother couldn’t handle him or his brother so she put them into an orphanage. Then she remarried and got them out , but the man that she remarried divorced her again. Lee Harvey Oswald was really a troubled child at school; kids would tease him and boys would beat him up. When he was 17 he joined the marines;  he was abused when he was in the military and then, at one point, dishonorably discharged. He moved to the Soviet Union and thought to become a citizen but they didn’t want him and was not allowed to become a Russian citizen, then he went back to the United States. One thing that he was good at was his guns. So, because of all his emotional issues that never got resolved, he ended up killing president Kennedy.

Next is an opposite story.

During the Korean War, a South Korean Christian, a civilian, was arrested by the communists and ordered shot. But when the young communist leader learned that the prisoner was in charge of an orphanage caring for small children, he decided to spare him and kill his son instead. So they shot the nineteen-year-old boy in the presence of his father.

Later the fortunes of war changed, and the young communist leader was captured by the United Nations forces, tried, and condemned to death. But before the sentence could be carried out, the Christian whose boy had been killed pleaded for the life of the killer. He declared that he was young, that he really did not know what he was doing. “Give him to me,” said the father, “and I’ll train him.”

The United Nations forces granted the request, and that father took the murderer of his boy into his own home and cared for him. Today the Young Communist is a Christian Pastor.
Just the opposite of what had happened with lee Harvey Oswald. You can take a troubled teenager that has been rejected by society and bring change into that life. If we can reach children at a young age; we can save them from becoming like Lee Harvey Oswald.  If we can reach them with the love of Jesus; their conscious will work in their hearts. Even when they get pulled in by the gangs, that they will be pulled back, because that conscious, that voice will be there to talk to them and draw them back.

How do you resolve conflicts?

First of all, don’t avoid it. King David avoided it; he avoided talking to his son Absalom. The scripture tells us that Absalom had killed his brother, because his brother had killed his distant brother so to say and he had raped his sister. He was mad. Instead of correcting it before he had killed his brother, David never corrected it. He just said something like “you should never have done that”.

Absalom took it in his own hands, he killed his own brother and then he fled the country. David then lost his son that died and now he had lost a son that had run away. David was grieving on the inside for his son, but he didn’t want to ask him to come back. Somebody addressed him on it and he ends up letting his son Absalom come back. After David gets him close to his home; he won’t talk to him. He just didn’t say one word to him.

All this is working on the inside of Absalom who is handsome and has a charismatic personality. He goes after the people, he decides to go after his father’s kingdom. He starts talking to the people, he is getting a group around him and then he begins to revolt and tries to take the kingdom from his father. His father had to leave his throne and Jerusalem for a season. Absalom got killed and David returned back to his throne. The sad thing is that, that relationship never got healed; never got reconciled.

Don’t avoid, don’t ignore a relationship conflict at an early stage when you know that if you don’t deal with it then; it could evolve into something worse and that would affect a lot of different people in a negative way.

Then when you do want to resolve a conflict, be humble. Prov.15:1 says: “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger”. So, be humble, you want God to sow mercy into your life. I can guarantee you when you sow mercy into somebody else’s life you will reap mercy. When you end up somewhere messing up your own life, you will receive mercy yourself. But when you are hard on people, than you will receive that people be hard on you when you fail, when you miss it.

So, don’t ignore the issue; be humble, share the conflict that you have experienced with this person in a kind way and not in a condemning way. When you have talked, allow them to talk and listen. Be willing to admit your own failure in the conflict, if you have done something wrong, even if it is a just little. Tell them that you apologize, tell them that you don’t want to have this conflict.

Phil.2:3 says: “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”

Make the choice and decide to go into the conversation to keep the peace of God, reconciling with each other and pray for one another. Even when the conversation comes to an end and you’re not totally in agreement; decide to agree to disagree with one another. But make a decision that you come to a place of peace, where you are able to be at peace with that other person. Pray for the other person and pray for yourself.

Let God’s Holy Spirit take control in that situation to turn it around and  let God change you. If you leave a conflict and you are not changed, then that thing can happen all over again. Make a decision and say: ”God, change me, if there are things in my life that create conflict with other people, I open my heart to You that You can show me and that You can change me.”

Here is a story of a man that was reached by Victory Christian Center in  a McAllister prison, Oklahoma years ago, he made it right with God before he stepped into eternity.

John Duty was executed in December 2010; his last statement was: ”If God can change me, He can change anybody.” Can God forgive? God can forgive where there is a broken heart. A heart that is been broken up before Him, a heart that humbly says “forgive me Lord, I am a sinner, I was wrong and I ask You to forgive me.”

John Duty’s testimony is a tough one, but I want you to know something. The grace of God changed John’s life before he left this earth and I believe that the grace of God can change any life. If we humble ourselves, then God can change us and if we repent and if we let Jesus work in our lives.

“Repentance occurs when our hearts and minds are awakened to God’s glorious potential for our lives.” Tony Cooke

Prayer for Salvation
God in Heaven, I come to You in the name of Your Son, Jesus. I confess that I haven’t lived my life for You. I believe that Jesus is the Son of God. I believe that He died on the cross and rose again from the dead so I might have a better life now and eternal life in heaven. Jesus, come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior. From this day forward, I’ll live my life for You to the best of my ability. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.