God’s Early Warning Signs for Temptation

October 24, 2012 by Olga 8 Comments

God’s Early Warning Signs for Temptation

It sounds like something from a science fiction movie plot, but an Early Heart Attack Warning app is in the final stages of development. Doctors will eventually be able to embed a sensor the size of a grain of sand in the bloodstream of at-risk patients. As the sensor detects changes in blood vessel cells, it will signal the patient’s cell phone, alerting him or her to seek medical care before the heart attack can take place. Temptation to sin is similar to that heart attack waiting to happen. It may have small beginnings, which left unchecked, can build in intensity and pressure to a full-blown event.

If we’ll pay attention, God gives us early warning signs that we are progressing toward yielding to temptation. It’s easier to stop in the early phases. But as we allow ourselves to be drawn further into temptation, it becomes more difficult, though not impossible, to avert sin and its consequences.

Proverbs 7:6-27 illustrates the progressive nature of temptation through the story of the “youth who lacked judgement ” Although the sin in the proverb is sexual in nature, the principles apply to any sin that entices our flesh – from overeating to indulging in gossip. Let’s learn from the youth of Proverbs 7 and look at the early warning signs of temptation and the way of escape.

Early Warning Sign #1 – You are in close proximity to temptation

The easiest way to avoid temptation is to stay away from it! Or if you are in it, remove yourself from it. Proverbs 7:7,8 describes the “youth who lacked judgement” “…[who] was going down the street, near her [the prostitute’s] corner, walking along in the direction of her house.”

Whether we are simply curious or we mistakenly believe we are invulnerable to a particular type of temptation, it’s never a good idea to venture into the enemy’s territory. I heard of a man who was accountable to his pastor to not purchase gasoline at a certain chain of fuel/convenience outlets. Why? Because that chain sold pornography and the man knew he needed to avoid that type of temptation.

Perhaps your problem is not pornography, but you do struggle with repeatedly overeating a certain type of food. Despite your best intentions, you always eat the entire container. Remove yourself from the temptation or in this case, remove the temptation from your surroundings. Don’t bring it into your home.

Avoidance is the easiest phase of temptation to shut down. If you continue to stay close to temptation, it will become more difficult to resist – particularly if the timing of your exposure increases your vulnerability to it.

Early Warning Sign #2 – Timing issues increase your vulnerability to temptation

There are times when we feel weak in the face of temptation. Verse 9 describes the next phase of temptation: “He ventured out “at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark set in.”

We learn important truths from this piece of information. First, darkness can be a cover for dark deeds. If you would be ashamed for others to know what you’re contemplating, that’s God’s early warning system telling you to go no further.

Second, we each have times of increased vulnerability. Certain times of the day (or month) can be problematic for us. We may tend to make poor choices when we are tired, hungry, angry, hot, cold and so forth. Guard against temptation at these vulnerable times.

At this point in the story, the youth has put himself in the proximity of temptation at a vulnerable time of day. He’s in the wrong place, at the wrong time… and with bad company.

Early Warning Sign #3 – You keep company with those who enable you to act on temptation

Verse 13 goes on to paint a picture of sin (the prostitute) brazenly taking hold of the youth. She pulls out all the stops in encouraging him to make wrong choices. First Corinthians 15:33 warns us, “Bad company corrupts good character.” How do we know if someone is bad company? Anyone who encourages us to go against what we know to be right is bad company for us.

Do you have a circle of friends who always end up gossiping? Are you in business dealings with those who encourage you to misrepresent your products or services? If so, it’s time to change those friends and business associates. If you want to live a righteous life, keep company with righteous people, people who encourage you to make wise choices. The youth of our proverb is in bad company. In the final phase of temptation, the rationalization for consummating the sin begins.

Early Warning Sign #4 – You rationalize or justify why this temptation is okay

Verse 21 marks a critical point in the story: “With persuasive words, she (the prostitute) led him astray.” Once you’ve begun rationalizing it is very difficult and painful to pull back from temptation. Why? Because rationalizing pulls us in the direction of fulfilling what was already held in our minds. If it is in our minds, it is as if we have already begun to experience it.

Pay close attention to your thoughts and self-talk. If you are rationalizing things that you know to be contrary to God’s Word, get help! Ephesians 6:12 tells us, “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Once you’ve started justifying yourself, you’re in for a fight. And you need God’s help to do it.

God is Faithful

God has given us ways to recognize and avoid the progression of temptation. We can pay attention to our proximity, the timing, our company, and our rationalization. He has also promised us with regard to temptation that He “will never let us down; He’ll never let us be pushed past our limits; he’ll always be there to help us come through it” (MSG). Regardless of where you find yourself in the cycle of temptation, you can choose the way out!

Wise choices will watch over you. Pro 2:11 NLT
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Filed Under: Making Choices in Life Tagged With: bad company, Business associates, choices, friends, God, God is Faithful, gossiping, poor choices, pornography, prostitute, rationalizing, Signs, temptation, the way out, truths, vulnerability, Warning, Warning Signs, wrong place, wrong time, you can choose

5 Tips for You to Rule over Bitterness

September 16, 2012 by Olga 19 Comments

5 Tips for You to Walk Away from Bitterness

It is amazing to me the stories I have heard lately of so many people that are going through situations that are just really heartbreaking to me. Of course we need time to get our life together after a situation that shakes us at the core of our being. But then again, we also need to know that we cannot get bitter; we need to get up and get moving forward again.

I know people who get bitter and become so buried in their grief that they never get beyond the experience. They hold on to it for years. Some turn their backs on God, the church and the people who love them because they are angry and bitter or afraid to love again. I know the time when both of my parents died within two years in my late teen years; I was in shock and I almost thought I wasn’t able to make it.

But then the moment came that I knew I had to take control of my emotions to prevent them from ruining my life. Many times, if we’re not careful we can prevent a breakthrough from occurring by having the wrong attitude. Granted, it’s hard and the situation may be unimaginable that you’re facing. We are emotional beings and it is very difficult for us to press though those emotions.

When things don’t go as planned and people hurt or disappoint us, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is the time we must dig into the Word and stay close to God. Hanging around positive people and listening to positive music and messages can be of great help regardless of what is going on in our lives. Keeping a positive outlook and not get bitter, but get better should be a way of life.

Here are 5 tips to help you avoid or overcome bitterness:

1. Replace your complaining friends with positive ones

Look at your circle of friends. Who’s there? If you have friend who is always talking bad about their husband or telling you what you should do, it’s time to make a change. If you’re hearing things like, “I’m sick of my husband/parents. He’s/they are no good” Or if you have dreams that you want to accomplish and the friends around you say, “Give it up. You’re too old for that now. You should have done that, years ago.” Time to move on, they should support your dreams.

2. Replace fault-finding and complaining with thankfulness

Be thankful to God. I’m not suggesting that you thank Him for a bad situation or difficult experience, but thank Him in the midst of it. God is your heavenly Father. There is no one like Him. He will work things out for you if you live a life of faith and trust Him.

The fact that God is in your life means that you have far more working for you than against you. Thank Him daily and expect good things to happen. Your breakthrough is right around the corner. The Bible says we should do all things without complaining so that we will be blameless Phil.2:14-15

3. Don’t feed off negative sources

We must learn to make a choice to fix our minds on good things. Surround yourself with people who are good for you and have your best interest at heart. If you have been bombarded with negative messages, make the change.

4. Commit to developing your spiritual walk

Attend church regularly. God wants us to surround ourselves with people who have similar thoughts and values to our own. He also encourages us to assemble with Christians regularly so that we may uplift each other. Prayer and meditating on the Word is also important. Get in a quiet place daily and talk to God. Listen as He speaks to your heart throughout the day.

5. Watch what you say

Words have power. So choose them carefully. If you want positive results, you’ve got to have positive communication. If you want negative results, complain and continue to talk about the things you don’t want in your life. Either way it’s a choice. I encourage you to choose that which is positive.

Avoid quarreling, fighting, and gossiping. This type of communication produces strife and hinders every blessing. Instead say good things. Learn to agree or to agree to disagree and don’t take part in negative talk about anyone. Choose the high road. You’ll be glad you did.

Staying positive in a negative world is not easy, but it can be done. In fact, it must be done if we want our faith to continually increase. To live a positive life, we must intentionally focus our attention on good things.

What makes it difficult for you to focus on the positive rather than on the negative? What are some specific things about God on which you choose to focus your attention?

You can subscribe to The Daily Choice which is a SPIRITUAL Devotion that helps you to make the right choices in your life by clicking here

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Your Facebook Family Tree: Trim It With Love

August 29, 2012 by Olga 13 Comments

Today is our last day of our Social Media series this month. I am so glad that you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Now, you also know some of my friends on Facebook. 🙂

Dorien and I have something special in common and that is that both of us are Dutch; we come from the same country: The Netherlands. And although we have never seen each other, there is that one thing that makes it a little special, no maybe 2 things: both of us are Dutch and both of us love Social Media.

I know that you will enjoy her post as much as I do, maybe especially because of all the insights she gives on how to do certain things on Facebook. Enjoy her post and please leave her a comment.

Here is Dorien!

Your Facebook Family Tree: Trim It With Love

by Dorien van Dam

Remember when you first made your Facebook profile? Whether it was yesterday, months or years ago… Facebook ‘knows who you know’ and you probably gathered your first few family members and close friends and ‘friended’ about 50-60 people within a week. I venture to guess your Facebook family tree quickly branched out when old high school friends found you, present and past colleagues sent friend-requests and your child’s teacher or your neighbor’s son asked as well. Sounds about right? Maybe you made a business page since it is the only way to conduct business on Facebook. You got fans. With that, I dare to wager, came the friend-requests of people who really weren’t your friend. Business associates, fellow bloggers, other page owners and just plain strangers, all wanting to ‘friend’ you. Feeling it? Now how do you keep track of the friendships, make sure you see the important updates of your loved ones and don’t miss anything you value on Facebook? Here are some ideas and Facebook features to do all that AND keep your Facebook family tree healthy, trimmed and neat so you are in control.

USE YOUR LISTS For personal profile/friends only

Use the initial ‘Lists’ Facebook set up for you, and put people in the appropriate lists. They are:

* ‘Your Town’ Area

* Family

* Close Friends

* Friends of ‘Your Business Fan Page’

Create new lists

Think:

* Acquaintances

* Sports Friends

* Colleagues

* PTA moms

* Friends in Europe

* Etc.

Each list you add to your profile creates a new ‘filtered news feed’ meaning only the status updates/posts of those personal profiles on that list are seen in that filtered feed.

CREATE INTEREST LISTS

Add both personal profile/friends AND Facebook Pages to these interest lists.

Think:

* Social Media Managers and their Pages

* Local Pages and Page owners

* Experts in your field

* Authors Pages

* Publishers

* Restaurants

* Entertainment in Your Town

* Fellow Bloggers and their Pages

* Etc.

Each list and interest list you add to your profile creates a new ‘filtered news feed’ meaning only the status updates/posts of those personal profiles or pages on that list are seen in that filtered feed.

CREATE GROUPS

Groups on Facebook are a great way to solidify new friendships or to share sensitive content.

* Secret groups are great for MasterMind-type groups, family groups or support groups. No one can see who’s in them or what is talked about. They are by invite only and do not show up in Facebook searches.

* Closed groups are great for like-minded business owners, networking groups, PTA’s, camps, sports teams, fraternities and sororities, book clubs etc. They do show up in Facebook searches and everyone can see the members, but no one outside the group can see the posts. Admission is by approval of the admin to the group.

* Open groups are good for large brands, fundraising campaigns and interests like ‘reading’, ‘writing’, ‘surfing’ etc. Everyone can join, everyone can see the posts.

How will this help you ‘trim’ your Facebook family tree? When you want to interact with a person about their business or a mutual interest, but you have nothing else in common, groups are an ideal meeting place. Being in a group with a business associate gives you access to them and lets you tag that person in a group, but it protects your personal newsfeed from their updates. If you feel inclined, you can ‘friend’ later. It’s almost like trying out a friendship first, to see if it is a good fit! 😉

HIDE UPDATES

This option is great for friends and family you love, but whose continues and annoying updates or game requests you despise! Hide all but their ‘most important’ posts and you are both happy. Your online relationship continues without hurt feeling and you both win. (And they will NEVER know you hid their annoying statuses 😉 )

DELETE SPAMMERS

I am sure you’ve accepted friend-requests from those known to you or not, to only regret it right away: You are inundated with messages about events you never want to go to, receive coupons for items you will never purchase or find game requests notifications each time you log on. Only one way to deal with them: un-friend them NOW! Do not react to them, or send them message to ‘please stop’. You are one of many Facebook friends; spammers play the ‘number’ game. They probably care very little about you and what you want. They want to sell you something or promote themselves.

UNFRIEND THOSE WHO ARE NOT WORTHY

You must know whom I am referring to: People who continually bash others, people who are very negative, people who are extremely controversial and post inappropriate stuff. There is nothing left but to un-friend those people along with the spammers. And guess what; unless they go looking, they will not even notice you ‘left’ the conversation! No notice will go out that you un-friended them.

I love my Facebook family!

Facebook is a great platform to connect on. I personally use B2C and B2B marketing and I have met some great people on Facebook I am proud to call my friends! Taking the time to ‘trim your tree’ every once in a while will enhance your productivity: It will create more time for those who are a positive influence, those who share your vision and those who with amazing content. Will you take the time this week to trim yours? Leave a comment and let me know when you do!

Dorien Morin-van Dam is the face behind the orange glasses! Proud to be Dutch, Dorien wears orange glasses in real life, too!

As the social media manager of my own company, I find myself frequently talking and walking business owners and friends alike through the initial steps of social media set up and management. Explaining and helping them understand this is important. Even though they might delegate some or all of their social media to a social media management company, it is crucial for them to understand how the different platforms work before they engage in social media marketing.

Your Season Can Shift With One CHOICE

July 29, 2012 by Olga 54 Comments

Your Season Can Shift With One CHOICE

by Olga Hermans

Sometimes it feels like we need a shift in our life, we are in the middle of the wilderness, that there are no roads or even signs that lead anywhere. Even if you would have a choice, you are not expecting anything good; nothing exciting at all. I’d like to share a few things with you that might change your way of thinking; a powerful insight about understanding your own times and seasons.

We all know that God loves us and that He wants the very best for us no matter what. His desire for us is that we prosper in every area of our life. We want His will to come into our life because that is the very best for us. He created us and placed our gifts and talents on the inside of us and in a way that makes us dependable upon God. By the way, God likes that and it helps us if we like that.

God is all-powerful and unstoppable and holds our times and seasons in His hands. But the thing is that many people relegate the season they are in to God’s sovereignty. Oops! Big mistake! They give everything into God’s hands as if He made us a robot. They leave the breakthrough in their life, or getting their life to a better place up to God. It’s all up to God to heal them whenever He wants it to happen and then they wait for it. They think God wants to teach them a lesson.

Others have said concerning the call that’s on their lives, “When God wants to open a door for me or use me in a certain way, it will just happen.” And they sit and wait and wait and wait.

We are more involved in our destiny and the season and times that we are living in than we realize. You remember when Jesus came to the well and met the Samaritan woman “by accident”? Her life was all messed up and bound in immorality; she knew no way out any more. Here she was, just going about doing her daily tasks like any other day. Here she is at the well and meets this man who knew everything about her life and still wants to talk to her. That was very rare for her. From that day forward her whole life was changed around.

You see, this woman was open to a change in her life and seized the moment so to speak. Her messed-up circumstances made her desperate and longing for a change. Her eyes were opened to who Jesus was and went and told it to everyone in her town. Her season was shifted in one single moment.

There are so many stories and situations in the Bible that show us that when Jesus shows up, things drastically change. I remember in my own life when my husband and I went through a very difficult time in our marriage and we thought that the only way out was a divorce. We were meant for each other, but circumstances and family situations had brought too many hardships, and we just wanted to give up.

But Jesus showed up at a moment we didn’t even know Him yet, but He turned the whole situation around in 1 moment on 1 day. After that, the word “divorce” went out the window which was the best decision we ever made.

Your season can shift with one CHOICE! You see, sometimes we need another person to speak into our life for our life will move forward. But WE have to be willing and we have to be open!

In order to make the right decision that can change your entire life and launch you into your new season, you have to have faith that is produced by clarity of vision. Every fear, every doubt and every distraction must be thrown out of your heart. You must learn to trust yourself and gain confidence and the way you do that is by living out of your spirit, not your soul.

Our emotions, our will and our mind make up our soul; our emotions can drive us away from the path that we need to go. Our thoughts can keep us captive in fear and doubt. Our will can be so passive that we don’t even want to make a choice. That is a bad situation waiting for a disaster to happen. You need to be able to take your will and change gears and tell yourself to get up and create a change in your life.

Engage your will in what YOU want to do and bring all your feelings and stinky thoughts under submission to your will and if you have your will submitted to the will of God; good things are going to happen. God WANTS you to prosper, so whatever you are confident in doing, start doing it! Our will is a powerful thing. If we don’t want to yield to the will of God, nothing is going to happen.

So many people are soul-driven, while God is calling us to be Spirit-led. God speaks into our spirit; He gives us ideas and witty inventions to create wealth. He has empowered us to create wealth. So, let’s engage our will and step up to the plate and do it! Will you do that?

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When Life Throws You A Curveball

July 15, 2012 by Olga 50 Comments

When Life Throws You A Curve Ball

by Olga Hermans

You know a curve ball starts one way and then goes another. A well-thrown fast ball is predictable – you know where it is going – and because of that, it is fairly easy to hit. But a curve ball is different. The pitcher makes the ball curve by pulling down on it with his fingers as he releases it. The ball spins diagonally and then curves.

When I say a curve ball, I am referring to an unexpected problem, a surprise obstacle or a twist in the way you thought things were going to happen. For example, you thought your marriage was going to be everything you hoped for and you thought you were going to live happily ever after. Then you found out that it wasn’t the way you thought it would be.

Maybe you were hired for a new job and you thought it was going to be a certain way, but you found out you had a boss or an employee that was a real pain in the neck. That was a curve ball. You did not see it coming. It started out the way you thought it would, but suddenly there was a change.

Sometimes you get those balls that are thrown at you that are just crazy and you don’t know what to do with it. You’re thinking: “how in the world am I going to hit that one?”
I think about what happened to the disciples; they weren’t counting on Jesus dying. Jesus was their savior; He was their King and all of a sudden He is hanging on the cross and they are hoping that He will have a comeback and then he gets buried.

That was curve ball for them, they weren’t ready for that and they didn’t know how to hit that kind of a ball.

Have you ever had a curve ball in your life? Something happened unexpectedly, something you didn’t plan on. Maybe somebody in your family died or maybe your parents got a divorce.
Maybe something happened that you didn’t see coming and you had no clue whatsoever to do with the situation? The disciples had to make a choice; was their faith going to be based on the circumstances around them or continue to carry on what Jesus told them to do?

When I was 18, my father died unexpectedly. I remember the day that my mom and dad were going to a birthday party of a friend. They were dressed up and I remember my father making really nice compliments to my mom, how good looking she was and all that. All 5 of us always enjoyed it so much when he was “dating” my mom.

Anyway, off they went. At the party while he was dancing, he fell on the floor and had a heart attack; he never stood up again. It was devastating to my mom and all of us; she was speechless, she just couldn’t get her mind around the fact that he was gone. It was a very, very tragic moment for all of us; our life was never the same thereafter.

There are many times that people are not correctly handling problems and obstacles in their lives because they have failed to make an adjustment in their timing. The point is this: Most of us are accustomed to handling things straight on, so it can be very difficult when we get a curve ball thrown at us.

There are situations in our life where we feel we are totally undone because of something unexpected and unwanted came into our life. You have to make choice. You can be destroyed and fall apart or you can bounce back and hit that ball!

You can look at it this way: in the ocean there are sharks, but in the boat there is safety. You can stay in the boat (Jesus) and cross the ocean (go through life in this world) and the sharks will not get to you. In Christ there is victory, joy and peace. In the world, there is tribulation, but in Christ, you can go through the world overcoming every circumstance and situation. It doesn’t change the things that are in the world; it just changes your ability to overcome the world.

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Iron Sharpens Iron

July 10, 2012 by Olga 66 Comments

Iron Sharpens Iron

by Olga Hermans

Have you ever thought about who you want to hang out with? I want to be around people who are hungry for God. They have a sense of direction in life, but they also have this hunger for God and in this hunger for God they want to please God with their lives. I love it when people know where they are going and know what they want to do.

I love to be with them and let it rub off on me. I listen to them and ask them how they got where they are now from where they were. What was the most important choice that they made in their life and what was the worst. How do they make tough choices? What motivates them and so forth.

It is very important to know to whom people listen to. I think that, that is very important to know because you want to have the same source of influence in your life. Sometimes people are in church with great issues in their lives, they try to fight great temptations, but they are scared to go to somebody and be open about their life. So, they keep it to themselves and keep it as a secret. We need accountability in our life.

You know, when iron sharpens iron, sparks are going to fly! One person is chasing after God and the other person is not chasing after God, so when you confront a person on issues that are ungodly, sparks are going to fly.When there are no sparks flying then it is probably not a relationship where iron sharpens iron. But we need someone who is going to confront us on pride, selfishness and lust.

What about personal greed and jealousy? You want to be with people who are going to challenge you to take you forward in your walk with God and in your walk in life.You know, friends that you are able to bounce things off on and when they are able to put you in check; you are going to put them in check as well.

You actually need three types of people in your life:

1. Somebody who pours into you, somebody that you gain knowledge from; the ins and outs of life. Someone who helps you to stay focused on your vision that you so desperately like to accomplish.

2. Somebody that you can bounce things off on; somebody that can challenge you and build you up if necessary.

3. Somebody that you can pour into, all the knowledge that you gained can now flow into the life of somebody else.

Col 1:3-5 says: The Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.

We need that, don’t we? We need comfort, but then there are times that there are other people that God calls us to bless in a relationship. They need what we have to speak into their lives. Most importantly we can have relationships where we can confess our faults one to another so that we can be healed.

And at the same time, we can affirm each other; “I believe in you, I know that God has great things in store for your future, this is not the end; things like that seem to encourage us in a great way. Prov 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Ecc 4:9-10 “Two people are better than one because together they have a good reward for their hard work. If one falls, the other can help his friend get up. But how tragic it is for the one who is all alone when he falls. There is no one to help him get up.”

Two heads are better than one.
~John Heywood

Walking with a friend in the dark is
better than walking alone in the light.
~Helen Keller

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
~Arnold H. Glasow

You weren’t meant to go through life alone. God created you for a relationship. Relationships that will encourage you and strengthen you and challenge you. But more than anything, God wants a relationship with you Himself. God wanted a family from the very start; He wants you as a part of His family.

You can make a choice today to surrender your life to Him. He is a very good iron sharpener 🙂 Most important is that He loves you no matter what.

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Powerful Secrets To Discovering The Life You Were Born To Live

October 27, 2011 by Olga 13 Comments

Powerful Secrets To Discovering
The Life You Were Born To Live

by Olga Hermans

Have you ever thought about the fact that there is no other person in the whole world that can fulfill what you are meant to do? There are two directions you can take. One is to press on with God. The second is to run back to something that you know is secure. But you will never be what God wants you to be if you turn and run.

Only if you choose the plan God has for you will you be able to fulfill your divine destiny.

Did you know that God created you to solve a problem? Why did you buy a car? Because it solved a transportation problem. Why do you watch the news? It solves an information problem. Why did God create you? To solve a human problem. You were created for a specific and very special purpose and to solve a specific problem on earth.

Are you ready to discover it?

So, you are not here by accident. God has qualified you to be the perfect solution to someone; He planned you, and nobody else can be like you.

Nobody else can do what you do. You are unlike anyone else on earth. God is not a duplicator. He is a Creator.

You alone are absolutely perfect and genetically accurate for solving a specific problem for somebody on earth today.

To discover the life you were born to live requires your total focus. Somebody said once that the only reason men fail is because their focus is broken.

How important is your focus? Jesus encouraged His disciples to keep their focus on the Kingdom of God. He assured them that their financial provisions and everything they needed would be produced through absolute focus upon Him.

Your focus is very important, because a broken focus will destroy your dreams. The moment you are distracted from what you are created to do, it will create a lot of tragedies and disasters in your life. I am telling you this because I have experienced this personally in my own life. I made some good choices in my life and some bad choices. But, you know what? It doesn’t matter. God loves to restore our lives.

He is about to do that and if you want Him to do that for you; He will!

Discovering the life you were born to live requires time, more than you realize. It requires preparation time. God gave you time and you might have exchanged your time for things that don’t matter to your life. You need to eliminate the things that God did not specifically tell you to do.

Your life requires your participation. Nobody else can complete it for you and nobody else can pursue it for you. It makes me sad when I listen to people who blame their circumstances on others. Husbands complain about their wives and women complain about their husbands. We should never complain about things that we tolerate and permit in our lives. So stop blaming others for your personal decisions.

Never forget that your present circumstances in your life are there because you permitted them. And because you tolerate them; you breathe life and longevity into them. People sabotage themselves by doing things contrary to what they believe and contrary to what they desire to achieve.

You see, the moment you don’t tolerate your present situation anymore; you start creating a different future. Nothing will really change in your life until you cannot tolerate it any longer. You see, God never intended for you to depend on everyone else to step up to the plate and make a homerun.

Certainly, hindrances occur. It is common that relationships can slow us down, demotivate and discourage us. Everybody has experienced a connection with someone who at first seemed to be a blessing but then turned out to be a burden. But you have chosen your friendships! And the quality of your relationships that you have chosen reflects and reveals what you respect the most in life.

I have read some biographies of great men and women of God. One thing that always stood out to me was that they took personal responsibility for their own actions, decisions, and the tasks necessary to reach their goals and dreams.

Again, never forget that it is you who has chosen the present. And it is you who can keep it or change it. You may complain, whine, and gripe for the rest of your life. But you have chosen the environment surrounding you. You have accepted it. You have embraced it. You have refused to walk away from it. So stop finding fault with it.

You must grasp this.

You must decide the conclusion of your life that you desire. You must decide to run your own race. You must grow the kind of harvest you desire. This is why complaining must stop. You are responsible for your situations.

Are you deeply disturbed and uncomfortable with your life right now?

If you are; here are four questions to ask yourself that can move to a place where you are in charge of the life you were born to live.

1. What one decision would you make if you knew you couldn’t fail?
2. What one thing should you eliminate from your life because it holds you back from reaching your full potential?
3. Are you on the path of something absolutely marvellous, or something absolutely mediocre?
4. Are you running from something, or to something?

Your destiny requires your own personal choices and appropriate actions.

Will you do it? I would love to help you with my eBook plus action guide that I have written especially for you.
check it out here.

Filed Under: 6 Your Destiny Tagged With: Action, attitude, challenge, destiny, friends, habits, How to Choose, influence, life, moving on, opportunity, parenting, passion, purpose, regret, relationships, responsibility, the choice, thoughts, tolerance, words, you were born

How Boundaries Can Save Your Life

September 15, 2011 by Olga 13 Comments

How Boundaries Can Save Your Life

by Olga Hermans

The other day we were having a good time in a coffee shop with some friends, as all of a sudden one of our friends wanted to trade places with one of the women. It was very obvious that he was irritated and wanted to sit in a different place quickly. I asked him what was going on and guess what he said? “Too much skin”. As I looked at the view that he had in his old place, it was not particularly a very tasteful view.

Have you ever been to a restaurant with your spouse and the waitresses almost dress like “hookers”? Their skirt is higher than the edge of the table and their “girls” are hanging out of their shirt and bouncing for attention. I am sorry but that is so distasteful to me, that I want to get up and go somewhere else.

Why do girls do that? Like it or not, you’re being watched. People watch people. Guys particularly watch girls and women. They watch how you dress. They watch your behaviour patterns. They watch any signal you send. Whether you are naive or purposeful in what you do makes no difference to the fact that they watch you, they are aware of both circumstances; they do recognize naivete, and they know when a girl is purposefully luring them.

I can remember myself, how naive I was in my early teens. When the trend was to wear mini-skirts, I went along and wore my skirts as short as possible. Looking back now, I realize why I might have been doing that. I didn’t feel good about myself and wanted to express that one way or another. I was raped when I was 13 and hadn’t told anybody. The first man in my life had overpowered me and used me in a very humiliating way. So, to cope with the pain on the inside I dressed “cheap” and craved the attention. DUMB!!!

Girls who are fashion-conscious but naive to the fact that society is pushing sexual “freedom” and hedonism (the attitude of “whatever feels good, do it”) could be setting themselves up for hurt and regret.

I remember a young, beautiful Christian woman who always dressed in the latest fashion, wearing clothes tight enough to emphasize her good figure. She simply thought people would admire her good figure, assuming that guys would just “look but not touch.” She liked being watched, but was not prepared for someone crossing the boundary with her. She didn’t realize that there was a guy watching her and waiting for the moment to rape her. Of course, he had no right to rape her, but did she set herself up? She had grown up in church and had always felt very protected.

How far does God’s protection go when we move beyond the boundaries that God has warned us to establish? You could ask yourself if it is possible to be a Christian girl or woman and believe in God, attend church regularly, and yet go beyond the boundary of “the secret place” of God’s covering, (see Ps.91) and become an open target for attack?

Some girls don’t want to think about it. They want to believe that as long as they aren’t thinking about sexually arousing a guy, even if they are dressing immodestly or wearing clothes that focus on certain body parts, they are okay.

Many times girls just don’t realize that what they wear or how they carry themselves sends signals to guys. Hosea 4:6 says: “people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…” Where there is a lack of knowledge, there is a lack of discernment and discretion, which will lead a girl or woman into trouble. And the enemy is always looking for an opportunity to cause pain and hurt. 1Peter 5:8

A person who neglects to establish boundaries in her life is setting herself up to be used, abused, and taken advantage of. If you don’t set the boundaries, your body will become the property of someone who has no right of ownership. Without boundaries, a girl or woman today can not only be hurt but also destroyed. You and I probably know enough stories which is very sad in itself.

There are many good boundaries in the earth that have been created by God. He created a boundary between the ocean and dry land. He created trees to grow to a certain designated height. He placed the sun at a specific distance from the earth so that the earth and its occupants would not burn.

We as human beings have also established many boundaries. For example, governmental agencies set limits or consequences to protect its citizens so that someone won’t feel at liberty to destroy another person or his property.

On a personal level, I have placed boundaries over my own life; I have chosen to restrain myself in certain matters, and I also have chosen to restrain others from taking advantage of me. But to do this, I first had to think about how I dress, how I behave, and how others might view me. This isn’t bondage; rather, it is protecting that which is valuable to me and my life.

My Question to you is: Are there some boundaries in your life that you have established and are they working?

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Filed Under: Making Choices in Life Tagged With: Action, Awareness, choices, destiny, Forgiveness, friends, happiness, How to Choose, life choices, love, Moments, moving on, Olga Hermans, purpose, relationships, self esteem

The Seven ‘C’s’ Of A Great Marriage

August 29, 2011 by Olga 16 Comments

The Seven ‘C’s’ Of A Great Marriage

By Olga Hermans

Good communication involves talking, listening, understanding and taking action. Communication breakdown is the number one problem in marriage. It’s the number one cause of separation and divorce. A lot of people don’t realize it, because they relate their problems to some other area. But if your communication is proper and you have the ability to share openly, you can solve financial problems, and children problems.

If you want to live the life you were born to live; you have to be able to communicate especially with your spouse. It takes an effort on your part to communicate effectively with God and with the people who are around you. If you get your communication right with God, you can have the right communication with the people around you; communication is a process. Having a successful scriptural marriage isn’t an instant, or easy, task. But it can be done.; you just have to make a choice.

Not just by reading a book or this article, but by choosing to put the principles that God has given us to work day by day, moment by moment for the rest of your life.

Here are the seven “C’s” that probably will help you if you put them to work; you can use them over and over again

1. Communicate

Communication is listening and understanding what the other person is trying to express and you do your very best to understand the other person. Communication is also opening up and sharing yourself with another person, even if it means becoming vulnerable. Communication is the basis of any successful relationship.

2. Cover One Another

If you truly love your spouse, you won’t expose, humiliate, or condemn them whenever they make a mistake; you will cover them. 1Peter 4:8.

Wives, you won’t point your finger at your husband and tell on how often he fails to pray or how carnal he is much of the time. And husbands, you won’t point your finger at your wife and tell on how much she nags. No. You’ll cover each other’s weaknesses. Cover each other with love.

3. Cherish One Another

The word cherish there literally means, “To feel or show affection.” Ephesians 5:29 Showing affection can be done by showing gentle and caring emotion with one another. It is the number one need of a wife, but it is also very important for the men.

You know, affection will always give you that emotional thrust that you need when things get rough; you are able to act in love. It is the glue that will bond you together in good times and bad.

4. Comfort One Another

Comfort is a vitally important element that enables us to stand successfully against the devil in every area of our lives. It makes it easier for us to be patient. 2 Cor. 1:3

God wants you to be your spouse’s greatest source of comfort. There is nobody else that can bring him tenderness when they’re hurt. A word of hope when they are discouraged

You’re the one to bring them kind-heartedness when they’re hurt, words of trust when they’re downcast, and friendship when it seems the whole world has forsaken them. If you’ll do it, you will go a long way in giving your spouse the courage to move forward.

5. Compel One Another

Again, just as you’re to be the greatest source of comfort to your spouse, you’re also to be the one God primarily uses to compel them toward love and good works. You are the one who should encourage your spouse to do better in everything; to inspire each other so you won’t grow weary in doing the right things. Gal.6:9

6. Consult With One Another

Agreement is a foundational principle of relationship succes, Amos 3:3. It is impossible to walk together if there is no agreement. When you break that principle; there will be strife and your marriage might eventually fail. So check with each other to see if you can agree.

Your spouse is a gift from God; so don’t misuse it. Your spouse is your balance and the person that enables you to grow and develop in the person you have to become.

7. Cleave One to Another

Never lose sight of the need you have for each other. Gen. 2:24 Always remember that your spouse complements you in a way no one else can. No friend, no child, no parent, and no pet – as wonderful as they may be – can do more for you than your spouse.

So cleave to that one alone. Pursue the marriage relationship with a singular determination that will eventually make you one flesh – not just in concept, but in fact. That only can be done by thorough communication.

There are many jokes about how much women can talk and talk and talk, but it is based on facts I think. Yes, I as a woman have a real need of sharing conversation, not just the chatter that this joke always talks about. This is not a joke; otherwise the need of men for sex is also a joke.

There are different levels of communication; from a cliché level where you only talk about the weather. Then we can have this conversation where we only talk about the facts that we went through that day. Men have a tendency to think in terms of the headlines, while women think more in terms of fine print. We want all the details 🙂

But real communication has a total openness and transparency level; where we experience trust and are able to share completely and freely about anything and everything. This is a level where we don’t hide and cover up, no areas where you are limited or where you feel there’s a touchy subject you can’t talk about.

You need to set aside a time when you can open up and communicate with your mate on a regular basis, whether it’s over coffee in the morning, at breakfast or lunch, in the evening on the back porch or whenever. Identify some place where you can open up and share together freely.

You have to make a choice to decide, because there is much power of agreement in communication. Will you do it? Let us know in the comment section what stood out the most to you and what things do you want to change? Thank you for doing that!

This article was inspired by a book from my former pastor Billy Joe Daugherty “Building Stronger Marriages and Families”

Filed Under: Marriage Tagged With: Awareness, choices, Christianity, family, friends, happiness, marriage, Olga Hermans, parenting, relationships, self esteem

Digital Travel Writer: Portable Lifestyle Made Easy by Wifi and Travel Apps

August 1, 2011 by Olga 7 Comments

Today you are in for a different treat again, because my good friend Claudia Looi is visiting us on The Choice Driven Life with a great subject: our WiFi lifestyle – on the go with the necessary travel apps!

I know you will like it as much as I like her writings. I met Claudia 6-7 weeks ago in Chicago at a conference with our coach Sandi Krakowski. She writes a great blog called The Travelpro and I visit it often to read her excellent and handy tips.

So, enjoy today’s article and let us know how much you enjoyed it.

Digital Travel Writer: Portable Lifestyle Made Easy by Wifi and Travel Apps

by Claudia Looi

One of the top treats of being a freelance writer is the ability to work in anywhere at anytime as long as you meet the deadline and produce the results needed. Last week I had the joy of just sitting in our local Barnes and Noble by their Starbucks Café…reading and drinking a less than $3 Grande Americano (I don’t drink sugared coffee). I got free Wi-Fi, a great cup of coffee, company of my son and people watching…that is part of my business model…people watch…I study human behavior as a copywriter.

While sipping coffee, researching and writing about geography and travels in Tanzania for my client in the UK…something clicked…I am a Digital Nomad. None of my clients live near me. They are all at least 1,000 miles away…. Wikipedia has the best description… A digital nomad is someone who uses technology and the internet to work remotely—from home, the coffee shop, internet cafe, or even to collaborate remotely with teams anywhere in the world.

These entrepreneurs & professionals frequently use new technologies like a smartphone, wifi, and web-based applications to develop location independence and earn an income wherever they live or travel. To me the most important aspect for any traveler or business person in this generation, even if you don’t work remotely, is the availability of wifi.

What if there were no wifi? What would you do? Clear 4G Take-it-with-you is a super fast internet connections you can bring with you wherever you go in about 80 cities in the United States. If you are an entrepreneur, traveler or an employee that travels for work in the United States, Clear could be a cheaper option compared to the fee that most hotel charge for room internet connections.

The last time I check in a hotel in Chicago, it was $9.99 per night. For unlimited internet access outside of the United States XComGlobal.com may be an alternative. They cover over 40 countries and you can select the mobile hotspot option or USB Modem option. It is cheaper to get a mobile hotspot in the country you are visiting.

Here is an example of one we used last year while traveling in Malaysia. DiGi has all the options for entrepreneurs and travelers to stay in touch. Other than wifi, travel apps do come in handy for a digital travel writer. What are these travel apps for? They are apps on smartphones or laptops that help assist with trip planning, free phone calls or cheaper phone calls, worldwide radios, track flights, hotel and restaurant reservation, language translation… to every type of games imaginable.

Here are 5 that I like:

1. Skype is a free app and you can call for free from one Skype account to another. Or make cheaper phone calls from anywhere with your contacts who are not on Skype. You can also send instant messages.

2. Tripit helps you organize your travel. You create your trip by entering the start and end dates, transportation details (flights, car rental etc), accommodation, restaurants and activities. After entering all the details you get your itinerary at your finger tips. What seems to be a tedious way of typing out and putting in order is now automated for you.

3. Flight track help you track your flights on real time, including delays and gate numbers. It even comes with a map and the airplane you are tracking. They track worldwide flights and will give you updates on cancellations and find alternative flights. This app cost $4.99 from iTunes. Or track for free on your laptop or desktop.

4. Oanda Currency Converter can convert over 190 currencies and 4 metals. Imagine… your silver coin can be converted too! This app is free. Get an idea of how much cash you need to have in hand when you travel. Shows you a typical rate charge for the currency you are exchanging.

5. Google translate is able to translate up to 50 languages. You can even listen to your own spoken translations. This is just an entertainment while you wait for a flight or just filling in time. This is a free app.

If you find this information helpful, don’t forget to grab our free report on 5 Keys to planning a vacation of your dreams…do it today. This report may help you not to put off the trip of your dreams. If it is not now…when will your dream vacation be?

Claudia Looi is a freelance travel, content and copywriter. She is a mother of two teens and currently lives in Florida. A former travel professional with various tour operators, she has lived and worked in Kuala Lumpur, Auckland and New York. She currently writes for travel, hotels, real estate and wellness industries. Most of her writings are not in her name. They are featured in the United States, Malaysia, New Zealand and Belize. She has traveled to over 20 nations and some multiple times. You can find her at www.travelwritingpro.com. While you are there grab her Free Report 5 Keys to planning a vacation of your dreams.

Filed Under: Making Choices in Life Tagged With: character, choices, destiny, free report, friends, habits, happiness, How to Choose, life, life choices, Olga Hermans, passion, prosperity, purpose, quotes, relationships, thoughts, words