Your Marriage Is Important To God

November 18, 2012 by 15 Comments
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Your Marriage Is Important To God

Your Marriage Is Important To God

 

Is your marriage important to you? It is to God. And if it’s important to Him, it should be important to you. If that’s not the case, it would be good to change your priorities. We pay attention to those things that are important to us.

I have known my husband since he was 11 and I was 13. That is a long time to know someone and we are more in love than ever. We recently celebrated our 32nd anniversary. We are blessed with two beautiful children who love the Lord. But our current happiness was threatened at one time.

Lost And Without Hope

About 25 years ago, before we had a foundation in the Lord, our marriage was in trouble. Neither of us knew how to fix it. Suddenly, the challenges all marriages face began to snowball and we both decided to split up. We were lost and without hope, in terrible shape in every area of our lives.

My kids’ welfare was the only thing that was important to me and I decided to focus on them and not on myself. I devoted myself to giving them all the attention they needed. That was one of my best decisions at that time. Bit by bit, I began to get my thoughts together. But everything was still very, very painful.

A Strange Resemblance

After a few weeks I received a phone call from a friend who asked me to go to an Amway meeting with her. As part of the program, a couple gave a testimony about how their marriage had been restored after their decision to divorce.

As I listened to their story, I noticed how much the husband resembled my husband. It was almost if my husband were standing on the platform saying things such as “You must fight for your marriage” and “Your struggle is worth it” and “Stick with your partner and work things out.”

I had no clue that God was working in me and on behalf of our marriage. God had a miracle for me and our marriage right there in front of me. Not yet being a Christian, I didn’t recognize God’s hand in my situation. BUT…..I yielded to the goodness that was portrayed through this couple’s testimony. They told us that their miracle was possible for everyone. So, I decided that I would be that “everyone” in my situation.

I was so excited…especially since this man looked so much like my husband. I returned home where my husband was babysitting our children, filled with joy and hope. I told him what I had heard and asked him if he would like to try to make our marriage work. He said, that he had been thinking about the same thing all night. Well, isn’t that just like God?

Marriage Restored and Ready to Be Born Again

So, we made a mutual decision to come together again. With the help of friends, we worked through some hard places in our marriage. A few months later we were born again. It was the best day of our lives. And here we are at 32 years of marriage. Praise the Lord!

Later, my husband and I returned to one of those meetings where I had heard the life-changing testimony. I wanted to tell that couple how much their testimony had blessed us, and tell them our testimony, of course. This time, to my surprise, the husband didn’t at all resemble my husband. My perceiving him that way was part of how God worked a miracle for us. He wants to do the same for you if you will yield to His goodness. God is a good God. He loves you unconditionally. His mercy is there for you all the time. Receive it by releasing all that bitter junk that is compromising your marriage.

Six Key Ideas To Elevate the Importance of Your Marriage

If you want to begin putting the same importance on your marriage as God does, I Peter 3:1-13 provides six key ideas to make your marriage stronger and to help you grow together as husband and wife.

1. Adapt yourselves (I Peter 3:1 AMP)
The Amplified Bible translates submit as adapt yourselves to them. Submit doesn’t imply being a doormat. To adapt means to “fit and flow together.” It is a wonderful thing when a husband and wife flow together in everything that they do and in everything that they envision in their life.

2. Honor your mate
When you honor someone, you treat them as you wish to be treated. Do you wish to be treated as a king? Then treat your mate in the same manner. If you are the king, treat her like a queen. If you are the queen, treat him like a king. Your act of honoring will return honor to you.

3. Be of one mind (I Peter 3:8)
It takes effort to be of one mind (one in thought), but it is possible. We need to grow in our communication. We also need to be able to receive and give correction to one another. In order to give correction, you must be able to receive it.

4. Show compassion to one another
You need to be able to feel what your mate is going through. The KJV version tells in 1Peter 3:8 that we need to be courteous; I always appreciate it when my husband is courteous to me.

5. Do not render evil for evil
Whatever you sow, you will reap (Galatians 6:7). This is true for every area of life. Plant a seed of love when your mate is going through a difficult time, or when you’re in a situation prone to strife. Don’t join in the strife with your mate. Sow mercy and love into the situation, and you’ll see your mate change before your eyes. You will reap what you have sown, good or bad.

6. Flee evil situations
Run from the appearance of evil. If you’re in a situation that’s a temptation to you, whether it’s on the job or wherever it might be, obey the warnings your spirit gives you.

It is really important that you not only love each other, but that you appreciate each other as husband and wife

To Sum It Up

Whether your marriage is in the valley of despair (like mine was), mundane, or on the mountaintop, it’s important to pay attention and do things to nurture it.

 

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What Does It Mean To Set Your Face Like Flint

September 29, 2011 by 25 Comments
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What Does It Mean To Set Your Face Like Flint

by Olga Hermans

… I set my face like flint, confident that I’ll never regret this. Isaiah 50:7
or I know that I will not be put to shame.

 

 

Have you ever heard that sentence? I heard it a couple of times this last weekend through people and then my pastor mentioned this very sentence on Sunday morning again. It was one of those sentences that stays longer with you than normal. I thought I’d dig in, do some research and write about it.

Setting your face like flint means determination. Do you know that you only can be as passionate as you are determined? When you are determined, you refuse to give up; you set your face like flint. People who have dreams overcome obstacles, because they want to see their dreams fulfilled. They did what they needed to do in order to enjoy what they like to enjoy.

God gave us the fruit of self-control and a free will, but we have to make a choice to use it. The less people use their will to make decisions they know they are right, the weaker they become. Setting your face like a flint and being determined is the decision to do whatever you need to do in order to have what you say you want to have.

We need to be diligent. Doing what is right one or two times or even a few times won’t always bring victory. Being diligent on a consistent basis and doing what you know you need to do over and over for a longer time, is the key.

You need a determined attitude, engage your will and be willing to do that particular thing forever if that is what you need to do. You won’t quit, you won’t stop, you set your face like flint and you are determined.

Real winners don’t put time limits on their commitments. They are committed with no conditions, and when they begin, they have made up their minds to finish.

The Bible says the diligent man will rule and he will be rich. Prov.10:4 and Prov.12:24

You cannot be diligent without being determined, just like you cannot be determined without being passionate. Determination is a mind-set and diligence is the effort that goes with it. You and I know people who decide to do something, but their decision is not a quality decision. They may pick up on something and do it for a little while, but when the first trouble appears, they’re gone and fall off to the wayside.

It is so easy for us to think we will do right than it is actually to do it. The doing makes the difference and it requires the diligence. The last part of our verse today says that God will never fail us if we do our part. God tells us what to do in order to have a good life and He gives us the grace to do it. However, we have to make the decision and realize that nobody can make it for us.

We all have to be willing to grow up spiritually, but we should also be determined not to give up during the maturing process. God tells us in Hebr.12 that when we are taught and corrected by God we should keep a good attitude and not give up. God has a plan for you, but He also must prepare you for the plan, and He will lead you as long as you keep your eyes on Him.

Most of us are determined until something happens that shatters our dream. What we do and how we respond to a crisis in life will make all the difference. Some people party and drink, or take drugs. In my FREE report I talk about the story of Joseph who had a dream of which he thought was shattered, but then he discovered that the very circumstances he thought were stealing his dream were leading him to it.

It is very important to remain positive and not start counteracting with lack of restraint. Some people eat excessively, others spend excessively, and others stop taking care of themselves and their household. A lifestyle of doing whatever you want to do is not going to eliminate your pain. The only thing that will eliminate it is setting your face like flint and being determined to have God’s will in your life and nothing else.

Remember to do all He has called you to do, not what He has called someone else to do. If you do what you are meant to do, you will be doing something that you enjoy and that really fits you.

Martin Luther King, Jr. said it this way: “if a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michael Angelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the host of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.”

Every success requires that you know that God is always on your side. You will be confident that you’ll never regret it and know that you will not be put to shame. Isaiah 50:7

Paul said that he was determined to know God. Phil.3:10 Don’t ever be satisfied to know about God, but get to know Him. Develop a deep, intimate relationship with Him for yourself and not through someone else. My background is the Catholic church where I only knew God through the priest. I wrote a book on prayer; check it out. You will learn keys and principles how to relate to God and hear His voice and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in your time of prayer.

Many of you just need a good dose of determination, a spark of passion that will ignite a steady stream of hope, enthusiasm, and commitment to keep going. That is the only thing standing between you and real victory. Make up your mind regarding what you believe, have God’s word to back it up, and don’t ever back down. Say daily, “I am determined to be all God wants me to be, do all He wants me to do, and have all He wants me to have.”

Will you set your face like flint from now on for the rest of your life, and never live one more day without determination and passion? Will you determine to be all you can be, and the best you can be? You have what it takes. You can do whatever you need to do though Christ, Who gives you strength.

Let us know what you are going after or what is that one thing that you think stands between you and your Destiny. Will you? It probably will help a lot of readers; thank you!!

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Prayer: The Breakfast of Champions

September 19, 2011 by 23 Comments
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Prayer: The Breakfast of Champions

By: Olga Hermans

 

“If I fail to spend two hours in prayer each morning, the devil gets the victory through the day.
I have so much business I cannot get on without spending three hours daily in prayer.”
~ Martin Luther

Prayer is the backbone of a successful life and many successful people know that very well. They take their time to be still and envision their day together with the Lord. Effective prayer will cause you to soar like an eagle in God’s plans for you.

I know people who are successful who will give credit to God, because they know that their success came from the time they spent early in the morning with their maker.

Let’s look at these points once stated by my late Pastor Billy Joe Daugherty. Why Early Morning Prayer would you say?

1.   Jesus did it

Jesus set the example for us in prayer. He got up early in the morning and found a place where He could be alone to start His day with prayer. So, if Jesus started his day with prayer, how much more do we need to start out with prayer? He taught us to go in our prayer closet; wherever your place is, is not important, as long as you can settle your heart in front of the Lord and receive from Him for the day that is ahead of you.

2.   The way you start something has a great effect on the way it ends up

If you start out communing with the Lord, there is a big chance that you will be in communion with Him throughout your day. The way you start out can have a definite effect on the way things will look in the end. When a sailboat starts out, the way the sails are set determines the direction the boat will go. The way you set your sails at the start of your day determines the course you will follow during the day.

3.   When you pray early in your day, you will get an attitude adjustment!

It has been said many times that attitude determines altitude. The pitch of an airplane determines how high it will fly. The nose needs to be turned upward to fly higher, right? It’s the same with or lives. If we haven’t set our lives in the right direction, we will continue to fly on a straight course and never gain any altitude. But when we start out by setting our affection on God, something happens and we begin to climb higher and higher.

4.   It is important to start your day with prayer because many interruptions come in the middle of the day.

You can pray through your schedule each day. Pray though each thing that you know is going to happen. Ask the Lord for direction and prioritize your activities. Many people jump out of bed, run for breakfast, go to work and sometime in the middle of the day, they might think about God. But then they might not, because their schedule is so demanding.

5.   When you are hungry for fellowship with God, you will take time for early Morning Prayer.

Some people work night shifts, which makes it difficult for them to start early in the morning. The key, however, is to set a time, preferably at the start of your day whatever that timeslot might be for you. Families are wonderful and your spouse might be the best thing for you, but there is just something about having a quiet time with the Lord. If you spend time with Him, you will be on top.

6.   Just as you would fill your gas tank before you start out on a trip, you need to fill your mind with God’s Word and prayer before you start your day.

Then you are prepared for the reversals, emotional situations and bad attitudes that you may encounter during the day. All the frustrations and hassles we face could be because we haven’t won the battle in prayer before we started the day. Problems arise and demands come up, and sometimes there is more demand than there is of you! You need to fuel up on the Word and prayer before you start your day!

7.   In Exodus 16, the Lord told the children of Israel to get their manna before the sun got hot on the ground.

Manna is Living Bread and that is Jesus. That means to get a fresh word from heaven from the Word of God before you start your day. There is just something about getting up early to gather your manna at the start of the day.  People who don’t set their sails on God early in the day many times forget about Him during the day, and they go in the power of their own flesh.

8.   When you start your time of prayer with praise to the Lord, you will receive revelation, instruction, inspiration, strength, peace, deliverance from temptation, refreshing and restoration.

People faint and become weary when they do not wait upon the Lord in a time dedicated to prayer. When people talk about how weary they are and how difficult their spiritual life is, they actually say that their prayerlife has ebbed away. Isaiah 40:28-31 tells us clearly that those that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will exchange their weakness for the strength of God.

9.   Giving God the first part of your day is part of the spiritual law of giving the first fruits. If you give God the first part of your day, He will multiply time back to you.

Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for GOD’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Pro 3:5-6

God will guide the path you take if you pray over it. But if you don’t acknowledge God and ask for His wisdom, He could be standing right in front of you with the answer to every problem you are facing, but you are too busy trying to solve your own problems and trying to make things happen in the flesh.

God wants to speak to you in early Morning Prayer. If you take time to listen, you will hear God speak.

When the gate of your day is guarded with prayer, the devil won’t be able to gain entrance into your life because you will be alert to his tactics. Without early morning prayer, however, people’s minds and spirits aren’t that alert to the voice of God.

But when you get up early in the morning and God speaks to you at the start of your day, it will carry you, guard you and keep you on course. I, myself, have experienced both; there were times in my life that I skipped my time with the Lord early in the morning and there is that time that I love to go in front of the Lord and open up my heart to receive from Him and leave all my cares of the day with Him. The latter is the best of course.

God will never condemn you; He loves you no matter what you have done; He is always there for you. For me; I live each day with the understanding that if it were not for God’s unconditional love and grace, I would not be where I am today.

Let us know and share with our readers how you set your time with God. Be an encouragement to others, because that is what we need. Thank you so much for doing that.

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The Seven ‘C’s’ Of A Great Marriage

August 29, 2011 by 16 Comments
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The Seven ‘C’s’ Of A Great Marriage

By Olga Hermans

Good communication involves talking, listening, understanding and taking action. Communication breakdown is the number one problem in marriage. It’s the number one cause of separation and divorce. A lot of people don’t realize it, because they relate their problems to some other area. But if your communication is proper and you have the ability to share openly, you can solve financial problems, and children problems.

If you want to live the life you were born to live; you have to be able to communicate especially with your spouse. It takes an effort on your part to communicate effectively with God and with the people who are around you. If you get your communication right with God, you can have the right communication with the people around you; communication is a process. Having a successful scriptural marriage isn’t an instant, or easy, task. But it can be done.; you just have to make a choice.

Not just by reading a book or this article, but by choosing to put the principles that God has given us to work day by day, moment by moment for the rest of your life.

Here are the seven “C’s” that probably will help you if you put them to work; you can use them over and over again

1. Communicate

Communication is listening and understanding what the other person is trying to express and you do your very best to understand the other person. Communication is also opening up and sharing yourself with another person, even if it means becoming vulnerable. Communication is the basis of any successful relationship.

2. Cover One Another

If you truly love your spouse, you won’t expose, humiliate, or condemn them whenever they make a mistake; you will cover them. 1Peter 4:8.

Wives, you won’t point your finger at your husband and tell on how often he fails to pray or how carnal he is much of the time. And husbands, you won’t point your finger at your wife and tell on how much she nags. No. You’ll cover each other’s weaknesses. Cover each other with love.

3. Cherish One Another

The word cherish there literally means, “To feel or show affection.” Ephesians 5:29 Showing affection can be done by showing gentle and caring emotion with one another. It is the number one need of a wife, but it is also very important for the men.

You know, affection will always give you that emotional thrust that you need when things get rough; you are able to act in love. It is the glue that will bond you together in good times and bad.

4. Comfort One Another

Comfort is a vitally important element that enables us to stand successfully against the devil in every area of our lives. It makes it easier for us to be patient. 2 Cor. 1:3

God wants you to be your spouse’s greatest source of comfort. There is nobody else that can bring him tenderness when they’re hurt. A word of hope when they are discouraged

You’re the one to bring them kind-heartedness when they’re hurt, words of trust when they’re downcast, and friendship when it seems the whole world has forsaken them. If you’ll do it, you will go a long way in giving your spouse the courage to move forward.

5. Compel One Another

Again, just as you’re to be the greatest source of comfort to your spouse, you’re also to be the one God primarily uses to compel them toward love and good works. You are the one who should encourage your spouse to do better in everything; to inspire each other so you won’t grow weary in doing the right things. Gal.6:9

6. Consult With One Another

Agreement is a foundational principle of relationship succes, Amos 3:3. It is impossible to walk together if there is no agreement. When you break that principle; there will be strife and your marriage might eventually fail. So check with each other to see if you can agree.

Your spouse is a gift from God; so don’t misuse it. Your spouse is your balance and the person that enables you to grow and develop in the person you have to become.

7. Cleave One to Another

Never lose sight of the need you have for each other. Gen. 2:24 Always remember that your spouse complements you in a way no one else can. No friend, no child, no parent, and no pet – as wonderful as they may be – can do more for you than your spouse.

So cleave to that one alone. Pursue the marriage relationship with a singular determination that will eventually make you one flesh – not just in concept, but in fact. That only can be done by thorough communication.

There are many jokes about how much women can talk and talk and talk, but it is based on facts I think. Yes, I as a woman have a real need of sharing conversation, not just the chatter that this joke always talks about. This is not a joke; otherwise the need of men for sex is also a joke.

There are different levels of communication; from a cliché level where you only talk about the weather. Then we can have this conversation where we only talk about the facts that we went through that day. Men have a tendency to think in terms of the headlines, while women think more in terms of fine print. We want all the details 🙂

But real communication has a total openness and transparency level; where we experience trust and are able to share completely and freely about anything and everything. This is a level where we don’t hide and cover up, no areas where you are limited or where you feel there’s a touchy subject you can’t talk about.

You need to set aside a time when you can open up and communicate with your mate on a regular basis, whether it’s over coffee in the morning, at breakfast or lunch, in the evening on the back porch or whenever. Identify some place where you can open up and share together freely.

You have to make a choice to decide, because there is much power of agreement in communication. Will you do it? Let us know in the comment section what stood out the most to you and what things do you want to change? Thank you for doing that!

This article was inspired by a book from my former pastor Billy Joe Daugherty “Building Stronger Marriages and Families”

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