How Do You Know You Are Ready for Marriage?

June 9, 2011 by 5 Comments
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How Do You Know You Are Ready for Marriage?

by Olga Hermans

 

 

 

 

You are ready for marriage when you choose to understand God’s plans and purposes for marriage. Many people aren’t ready for marriage, because they’ve never understood God’s plans and purposes. It definitely is a choice to be willing to understand and gain knowledge or to just ignore the things that you need to know before you get married. How can you help me make the right choice in marriage partner is very often a question that singles ask. What they are saying is that they desire to have God’s choice marriage for their life. Life is about choices and making decisons that matter.

You’re ready for marriage when you’re mature enough and willing to assume the responsibilities of being a husband, a wife, a father, or a mother.

You’re  ready to get married when you’re ready to settle down with one person for the rest of your life. You should think in terms of a 75-year contract. When you’re ready to sign in blood with your life, you’re ready for marriage.

You’re ready for marriage when you’re no longer depending upon your family or relatives to support you. Thank God for support that may come, but you shouldn’t depend on it when you’re going into a marriage union. You need to fly with your own wings. Many people want to get married, but they set themselves up for difficulties by their financial circumstances.

You are ready to get married when you are ready to give love and to be loved. Many couples get married in lust and the husband and wife have never learned to really love one another. When they say, “I don’t love you anymore,” what they are really saying is, “I don’t lust after you anymore.” The lust is gone, so there is no reason to stay in the relationship. But when that love is self-giving, kind, and tenderhearted, then you’re ready for marriage, because regardless of circumstances, you’ll keep on loving.

If you’re married and you’ve missed some of these foundational stones, you must work at it. You must desire to the point that your desire is translated into effort to rebuild the foundations in your marriage, but they don’t translate the desire into effort.

My husband and I weren’t raised in a Christian family, as of now we are still the only Christians on both sides. Because of our past and our different backgrounds we went through some very rough place in our marriage. All thanks to God, we came out on top and were able to raise our children with Christian values and principles.

You need to take time to talk about ways to improve and strengthen your home. Learn to ask: “How can I help you? What can I do?” Open yourself up to listen, talk, and communicate. You can get more knowledge, although I don’t think it’s always the issue of getting more information. I think people have enough information in many cases if they’ll only would communicate it with each other.

To be ready for marriage, you need to be healed of past hurts. You cannot carry grudges into a marriage and family relationship and expect the family to keep growing. If you’re bitter at your children, the children are bitter at the parents, or the husband and wife are bitter at each other, you need to forgive and release one another. If you don’t, when an argument or strife comes and your blood pressure goes up, you’ll pull out your list and go through all the things that have happened in the last 20 years or so!

You need to have a list-burning ceremony! Send the offenses up in smoke! Burn them and determine, “I am going to forgive myself, forgive my mate, and forgive my children.

There is a NEW Beginning.

When two born-again believers come together in marriage before God, in His eyes, they are cleansed. They are as clean before the Lord as Adam and Eve were in the Garden before they sinned, no matter what their past has been.

Maybe you’ve had a broken marriage and you’ve remarried. There’s cleansing and forgiveness for failures that have been committed in the past, whether you have deliberately and unknowingly failed in marriage God can give you knowledge and understanding. He can give you a marriage in wholeness and bring into your marriage the power that He plans.

You can make a choice to start over today right where you are with a fresh mental and spiritual attitude, by forgetting those things which are behind.

You can start by obeying 2 Chon.7:14: Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.

This means, for a fresh start and for healing in your marriage and family, you need to:

  1. Humble yourself
  2. Pray and seek God’s face.
  3. Turn from your wicked ways.

Then God will hear you, He will forgive your sin, and He will heal your marriage and family.

To be completely sure about the new beginning, obey the command of Isaiah 60:1 (Amp): ARISE [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you–rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you!

Arise from the circumstances in which you find yourself. You can rise above them, and God will meet your every need. He wants your marriage healed. It’s not too late for your marriage. It’s never too late. God’s Word is the same yesterday, today and forever. Hebr.13:8

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Top 10 Parenting Choices

June 8, 2011 by 5 Comments
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Succesful Marriages Are Made Up Of Successful Individuals Who Get Together

 

Is there something like the 10 commandments for parents? YES! And if you apply them to your life, that means if they are obeyed, they will improve your relationship with your children.

We can improve our relationship with our children by blessing them and by setting standards, rules and values for them. When was the last time you took a little child in your arms and blessed them just as Jesus took them in His arms and blessed them?

1. You gotta start with yourself

As a parent, you need to be an example to your children; they need something they want to follow. If you make rules and regulations that you don’t follow yourself, you are a bad example to them. Be a good example for them and they will follow you.

 

2.Your relationship with your children should be more important than the rules.

Jesus said He didn’t come to do away with the law, but He came to fulfill the law (Matt.5:17), so don’t do away with the boundaries, rules and regulations, because they’re necessary. But your priority should be to love your children all the way and build a relationship with them.

3. Teach your children to live by faith.

Impart faith into them. Deut 6:5-9 talks about how we should talk about the Word with our children in everything that we do; when we sit down, when we go for a walk and as we do things and go around the house and do the normal everyday things. They get so used to hearing the Word for every situation that they don’t know any better than knowing that the Word has a solution to everything and that is how it should be.

4. You need to learn to listen to them.

Most parents have to learn this, because the conversation is on a totally different level, but it is one of those necessary things if you want to build a relationship with your children. James 1:19 says … let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. It takes effort to listen to children and teenagers, to get down on their level, to be able to relate to them and really listen to what is really going on in their life.

5. Spend time with you children, they love you for it!

It is not lost time when we spend time with our children, although it can feel that way at times. When you spend time wuth your children, you are investing time and it is quality time. I remember those times when our children were toddlers  and that I thought it was not that important. I always thought there were so many other important things to do; I am glad that I came to the realization that playing with them on their level was as important as having a good conversation with a friend.

Sometimes parents think they’re spending time with the children when they go home and turn on the TV. That’s not quality time.  Quality time is when you pay individual attention to your children, sharing with them and listening to them.

If you will build a relationship with them when they are small, when they get older, they’ll want to have time with you; you can become best friends if you really want to work on it.

How do we save people from getting on drugs and alcohol?  If the deepest need of their life is met, especially when they are small, they won’t have these needs. They won’t be vulnerable to those things. When basic needs are not met, people search in every avenue they can.

In a study that took place on the West Coast with prostitutes, it was discovered that over 95% of them came from families where there was no positive father image. What were they seeking in prostitution? A craving for what they never received at home.

Where there has been a void, there’s a greater tendency to become involved in homosexuality. For the greatest percentage of the young boys involved in homosexuality, either there was an absentee father or a father who lacked spiritual fortitude.

The sins of the fathers, the Bible says, will be visited to the third and fourth generation. When there is a breakdown in the family, it doesn’t just affect the fathers. It can affect four generations of families. Are you beginning to see the importance of letting the Lord build our marriages and homes?

6. You have to acknowledge your faults as parents.

James 5:16 says; “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed…” Be quick to humble yourself and ask forgiveness of your children when you’ve made a mistake. It will get easier after your first time. This has not always been easy for me, because I was afraid that my children would reject me, but the opposite is true. 

7. Keep a sense of humor at all times.

A good laugh will set you free from pent-up emotions. Our kids are grown up now, but there are moments that we realize we need to relax and have a good laugh, because laughter is like medicine.

8. Treat your children equally.

Children are all different, and as parents, we should never compare them. Your children should never feel that one of them is better than the other. You should let them know that there are different rules for different ages, but they should sense that you love them and respect them the same.

9. You need to discipline your children.

My husband and I were never really good at this one, but it is necessary. It is very important that after you discipline your children, you love on them. We all have heard about “Super Nanny” and “the time out treatment“. Well, it works!

10. Know when it is time to let them go.

Sometimes parents tend to overprotect their children. Sometimes parents feel like they’ve got to be at every place their children are, which is a spirit of fear. There is a point where you have to let go and trust God, believing that the training you have instilled in them will preserve them and keep them.

It is very important that you pray and intercede for your children. I know of many examples where parents have either seen in the spirit or were quickened by the Spirit to pray for their children. Because of prayer the enemy was stopped from destroying or coming against their lives.

We are living in dangerous and uncertain times and it is easy to find ourselves feeling afraid. There is nothing the enemy enjoys more than seeing us in fear. But we do not need to be afraid. God knows what lies ahead in these last days, and He has everything we need to see us through to victory over the enemy.

We are at war with the enemy like never before. Just because we are Christians doesn’t mean that God’s protection is automatic. Like all the other promises of God, we must exercise our faith in order to walk in the fullness of those promises. Now is the time to stand firm on God’s Word and start protecting your family today!

What do you do when you purposefully want to spend time with your family?

Post/Tweet this: As parents we need to bless our children just as Jesus took them up in His arms and blessed them #TheDailyChoice

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Choose Influence Over Control

June 6, 2011 by 6 Comments
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Everybody has Influence; Our Lives Have Influence

 

Choose Influence Over Control

by Olga Hermans

 

To be clear, influence is not control. Some people mistakenly believe they have the authority to use their influence in a negative way. They do not. Being self-centered does not influence people in a positive way. People do not want to be around someone who is always trying to manipulate or take advantage of them.

I know myself; I am more susceptible to those I can trust. If we are not walking in love with those around us, our influence will not bring about the positive results we should desire to have.

There is a big difference between having a positive influence on someone and having control over them. Nobody wants to be controlled. Control is deadly. It is a deadly enemy to relationships. A controlling spirit destroys careers and ultimately their lives if they are not careful.

I have mentioned in another post that my sister died from anorexia nervosa; she was so obsessed to have control over her body. She wanted to control everything and everybody around her; she just couldn’t let go. Her control became a deadly weapon against herself which took control over her life and when she wasn’t able to take control over her deadly weapon; it became her death. Very sad eh?

All my brothers and sisters tried to influnece her in the right direction, but her self destructive behavior had too much control over her. Anyway, let’s go on and have a look at the good that really have influence in our life.

1. Words impact our influence

One day, we will have to give account to God for every word we say. It is therefore wise that we choose them carefully. If we want to have a positive influence in people’s lives, we have to avoid opportunities to gossip, be critical, and complain. Just as a person can affect the atmosphere around them in a positive manner, they can also contribute to a negative atmosphere.

Our choice of words have a lot to do with the type of life we live. Words also affect our overall productivity. When we easily find fault in others and are critical of them, we reap results of our decisions. That’s why the children of Israel stayed in the wilderness for 40 years. They complained about everything! “Why did God bring us out here to die? What are we going to eat? We should have stayed in slavery.”

We must be accountable for the words we speak. Words define the essence of our being. Life and death are in the power of the words we speak. Life equals blessings and death equals curses. However, God is so gracious. He gives us the ability to choose. In His Word, He gives us a hint as to which we should choose. You guessed it, choose life!

2. The Blessing of Abraham has influence

Abraham’s faith made a tremendous impact in the lives of his family and even in our lives today. One of the reasons why God chose Abraham was because of the influential impact he could make in the lives of others. Gen.12:2.

When you have the blessing on your life, you have God’s ability working through you to get the job done. I heard a preacher say one time; He puts His super on your natural and together the supernatural is accomplished. God also promised to give Abraham great influence by making his name well-known and giving him abundance of resources to bless others. He wants to do the same in our lives.

The blessing causes prosperity: it causes the wealth to flow into our lives. It contains every anointing from God. So when we operate in the blessing, we are able to reach people and reconcile them to God through our influence. The blessing ultimately flows from generation to generation.

Parents have a significant amount of influence in the lives of their children. How they respond to the situations in their lives has a tremendous impact on a child. In many cases, it will determine how the child will also respond as he or she matures. Therefore it is important that we pass on a positive influence and make a positive impact in the lives of our children

3. Prosperity has Influence

Money and wealth have great influence. The biblical definition of wealth is “influence”. If you would do a word study on the word wealth, you will find that it is not just limited to money; it also means to be “resourceful.” It is having goods, services, and abilities. To be as influential as God would have us to be, we must be givers and not takers.

We are blessed to be a blessing to others. We don’t possess the things we have just for our own benefits. No, God want to use our resourcefulness to strengthen others.

Every believer has influence. Our lives have influence. We are the salt of the earth and the light of the world. Gal.6:10 encourages to do good to all people when we are given opportunity. Here are a few tools that you can use to become a greater influence in the lives of others.

a)   Be the manifested word

Let’s be a demonstration of the Word of God in action. Let’s be love in action. Let’s be compassion in action. We have to conceive God’s Word by planting it in our hearts, meditating on it and speaking it.

b)   Demonstrate love and compassion

We can’t be selfish and expect to make a positive influence in the lives of people. We have to be compassionate and show evidence of God’s love. It should be our goal to do whatever we can to be a blessing to others and to help them without reservation.

c)   Give

We must be willing to give freely. Not just our money, but our time, talents and abilities. To be truly influential as God would have us to be, we have to be givers, not takers.

d)   Be relevant to the world

We cannot be afraid to reach out to people. There are many ways to make an impact in the world through giving, volunteering and spending time with people

e)   Fulfill God’s purpose for your life

Make God’s will for your life a priority. Don’t postpone it or decide that you will do it after you’ve done all the things you want to do. Now is the time to set things right in your life.

f)    Be stable and consistent

We must display some form of stability and consistency in our lives to influence others in a positive way. Whatever you do, decide that you will do it for the long haul. Don’t be in today and out tomorrow. Be committed. That’s how you make an impact in the lives of people.

Thank you for visiting our blog; we try to choose topics that will inspire and encourage you. Let me know if there is a topic that you would like me to write about.

When you choose to be a blessing in the lives of others, what is your motivation? Please give your comment below or in our FB Group

Post/Tweet this: People are looking at us, our goal should be to make a postive influence in the lives of others #TheDailyChoice

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Characteristics of Friendship – What It Takes to Be a True Friend

June 4, 2011 by 6 Comments
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Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget. — G. Randolf

We are all in need of great friends, isn’t it? We have friends that we have polite chats with, and then there are our best friends. They’re the people who root for you, no matter what. You tell them your deepest, darkest secrets, and instead of heading for the door, they stick around and your bond with them grows stronger.

My friend and my daughter has a blog about friendship and I asked her to be our guest today with one of her posts. I truly hope you enjoy it as much as I did; you can go over to her blog and let her know @ Frienship Spice; don’t forget to let us know here on the Choice Driven Life as well, ok?

Characteristics of Friendship –
What It Takes to Be a True Friend

by Josephine Hermans

Best Friends


EVERYBODY wants a true friend. Friendship makes the world go ’round. If it weren’t for friends we’d all be a bunch of lonely people living for ouselves, no one to give to, no one to look out for, no one to share memories with, not even anyone to talk to. Friendship gives us purpose. If it wasn’t for people around us, we would be living out of ourself and living for ourself, how boring is that. So here are a few characteristics that make up a true friendship. A friendship you need to invest in, and which you can expect to receive from.

* Balance.
A friendship is a two-way street. The responsibility of a true friendship cannot lie heavier on one side than the other. You cannot keep receiving without giving.  You cannot keep giving without receiving. We are not tallying up brownie points here, but there does need to be give-and-take mentality. If there is no balance, the friendship won’t last long. Meet in the middle. Don’t expect your friend to always call you, to always come to your knick of the woods, to hang out at your house. Initially at the start of a friendship you may see yourself or someone else investing more into the friendship, but eventually it will need to balance out. There needs to be a balance so that each person feels free to share, enjoy, and be themselves as they both have the same amount of “stock” in the relationship. If there is no balance, you or the other may find yourself holding back, holding grudges, or even having bitterness.

* Loyalty.
Loyalty provides and instills trust in a relationship. Once loyalty has been proven, trust is given to the other person. Once you have sacrificed something in order to stay loyal to the friendship, a deeper connection is released. A connection of trust in which both persons are able to lay down barriers or walls and feel free to be themselves or show secrets, because a more safe environment is created. Also, an appreciation for the sacrifice and in turn the friendship is established which creates a stronger bond.

* Honesty.
Honesty is needed for several reasons. First of all, you cannot build anything on lies, especially not a true friendship or any sort of relationship. Honesty about who you are, where you come from, what you believe, what you stand for are all important aspects that give a true picture of who you are to your friend. Honesty is also needed in times when “tough love” is needed.  As a true friend, you are in a position to help steer the direction of your friends’ life, and being honest about certain decisions your friend is making can help save them a bad investment, a bad relationship, a bad career choice or even saving them from embarrassment!  The opinions of true friends are taken in deep regard, so be honest about your opinions instead of necessarily telling your friend what you think they want to hear.

* Common interests.
I have seen pairs of friends who don’t look like they “should” be best friends, but in reality, they have common interests and common grounds for why they like to spend time with each other.  You can have friends that have different political beliefs, religious beliefs, different interests, but a true friend has a common ground that you respect and therefore you want to give this person a higher position of influence in your life. You believe in what they believe. They are at a place you want to be in life. They have values you appreciate and want to have in your own life. Common interests can also be certain hobbies you have, like volunteering, sports, music, travelling, or whatever. If one of you wants to spend most of their time cooking at home and adventuring in the kitchen, and the other much prefers to go out and be around people, it can become a point of tension which will create a limit on the friendship. Therefore, common interests and activities are needed.

* Time.
True friendship isn’t established overnight. Time is needed to get to know each other, create memories, and share life experiences which all draw friends closer to each other and create a closer bond. Both people involved need to want to invest time to see each other, do activities together, drinking coffee, talking, travelling, shopping, getting to know their family etc. to get to understand your friend. The time you spend together and get to know each other, the more you appreciate their opinions and the more you become a “go-to” friend for doing fun things, or calling up when honest advice is needed.

SoooO,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Many People Will Walk
,,,(,,,,),,,,,Oooo,,,,,In & Out Of Your Life,
,,,,,,(,,,,,,,(,,,,),,,,, But Only Real True? Friends,
,,,,,_),,,,,,,),,/,,,,,, Will Leave Footprints In Your Heart
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(_/,,,,,,,, & Memories That You Will Hold Locked Inside Forever

Post/Tweet this: Many People Will Walk In & Out Of Your Life, But Only Real True Friends, Will Leave Footprints In Your Heart. #TheDailyChoice

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All You Need to Know About Persistence

June 2, 2011 by 9 Comments
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All You Need to Know About Persistence

by Olga Hermans

There is another principle that you must know how to apply when you go after your dreams and goals and purpose for your life. When you give up, you invite defeat in your life. When you regularly make a choice to give up, you create a defeat mentality.

If you keep giving up then it won’t take near as much pressure the next time for you to give up because you have created a habit in your life. Sometimes habits are hard to break, but they can be broken, however it will take the Word of God to do it.

The act of continuing creates a habit. Anything you continue to do is going to become habitual to you. Well, you can create the habit of winning. You can create the habit of being persistent. You can create the habit of setting goals and achieving each and every one of them.

I am here to help you to be free to be yourself and to be the person God made you to be. Obviously satan will not just roll over; play dead, and let you accomplish this without a fight. He doesn’t want your life story or your life’s experiences to encourage anyone else. Why? Because it proves he is defeated.

So how can he stop you? By getting you to doubt yourself, your calling, your uniqueness, your forgiveness, and ultimately try to get you to just give up!

Determine in your heart that you will become the winner that God has called you to be. When you determine that that quitting is no longer an option in your life, then you are going to develop a winning lifestyle.

You may have setbacks but those setbacks are temporary. They are not permanent. Every successful person has had setbacks, but the difference between them and others is that successful people do not quit.

You are not a loser. You are a winner. Learn to be persistent. You are going to accomplish all God has for you, but you will not if you are going to quit every time there is pressure. You have what it takes to win. Keep telling yourself that. Stick with it and refuse to give up. It’s well worth it. Persistence is always rewarded.

Persistence is the key to being all God made you to be.

The reason why so many Christians don’t win is because it takes discipline to be a winner; most people don’t like that word. I used to be one of them. So, ask me how I know.  You have to make some rules for yourself that perhaps the average Christian would not make.

A lot of Christians see other Christians winning and they wish they could have what they have, but they will not do whatever is necessary to win. It’s only when you get desperate to win that you will finally be willing to do whatever it takes.

Discipline is what makes a winner out of you. I frequently hear people say, “I am just not a disciplined person,” or something like it. It is time to start renewing your mind by meditating this thought: “I am disciplined and selfcontrolled.” You will never arise above what you believe and as long as you believe you are not a disciplined person, then you won’t be one.

You’ve all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You’re after one that’s gold eternally. I don’t know about you, but I’m running hard for the finish line. I’m giving it everything I’ve got. No sloppy living for me! I’m staying alert and in top condition. I’m not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 (The Message)

Go for the above and beyond. Don’t be satisfied with being average. Determine that you will excel in everything you do. Too many times we are too quick to give in and to give up. Persistence is what it takes to be victorious in every adversity. Determine today that “turning back” is no longer an option in your life.

Kenneth E.Hagin used to say that if you will prepare to stand forever; then it will not take very long. Make up your mind that regardless of how long it takes, you are not going to give in.

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Career Fits for All Personalities

June 1, 2011 by 12 Comments
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“Personality Has The Power To Open Many Doors, But Character Must Keep Them Open”

 

Career Fits for All Personalities

By: Olga Hermans

You can read the article about your own unique personality type by clicking here.

The cheerful Sanguines enrich the world with their natural charisma, that’s for sure. They usually make excellent salespeople. You might have heard the cliché: “he could sell refrigerators to the Eskimos.” If you ever want to the Sanguine in action, just visit your local used-car dealer. About two-thirds of the salesreps seem to be  Sanguines.

In addition to being good at sales, Sanguines make good actors as well, entertainers, and preachers (particularly evangelists). They are outstanding masters of ceremonies, auctioneers and sometimes leaders (if properly blended with another temperament). Because of our mass media today, they are increasingly in demand within the political arena, where natural charisma has proved to be a great advantage.

In the area of helping people, Sanguines excel as hospital workers. Most sick people respond to a Sanguine nurse question “How are you today?” by saying, “Fine,” while nurse Melancholy can ask the same question and would probably receive the a pity answer like, “”miserable.” People might be on the verge of death, but when Dr.Sanguine walks into the room with his bubbly personality; before he leaves the room the spirit of the patient is lifted for sure.

Sanguines are never moderate about anything. They should choose careers that allow them extensive exposure to people. I think their main contribution to life lies in making other people happy. I guess we all know Sanguines ad after reading this, you might even appreciate their personality a little more. I have a friend and I can tell you, the moment she opens her mouth I start bubbling up on the inside and she always leaves me with pain in my cheeks from laughing. I have always told she should have been a comedian. Right now she is the pastor of a gangster church in Joplin MO, where the tornado hit almost 2 weeks ago, a job that fits her well…just an awesome lady.

The Career of the Choleric

Cholerics might consider careers that require leadership, motivation and productivity. They do not require too much attention to details and analytical planning. Committee meetings and long-range planning bore the Choleric – a doer. Rarely will you find a predominant Choleric as a surgeon, dentist, philosopher, inventor or watchmaker. They often supervise craftsmen. They usually enjoy construction work, because it is so productive, and will frequently end up beig foremen or project supervisors.

A Choleric is a developer by nature. When they drive through the countryside, he envisions road graders carving out streets and builders construction homes, schools and shopping centers.

I really believe that most cities and suburbs were first envisioned by a Choleric. They do well by hiring a melancholic as the architect with the analytical and creative ability to draw the plans for what he wants to build. The choleric person thinks it is enough to draw a few lines on the back of end of an envelope to gain the approval of the city planning department.

So, it is a wise thing to do for the Choleric to hire a melancholic assistant or to go into a business partnership with a Melancholic. Together they make an unbeatable team.

Most entrepreneurs are Cholerics. They are not by nature good delegators of responsibility (although with proper training they can learn). They tend to evaluate negatively the efforts others and end up trying to do everything themselves.

The Choleric is a natural motivator of other people. He oozes self-confidence and is extremely goal-conscious. Associates may find themselves even more productive by following the leadership of a choleric. Their weakness is though that they are hard to please and tend to be rough on people.

If he only knew how others look to him for approval and encouragement, he would spend more time patting them on the back, which would generate greater dedication from them. The choleric thinks subconsciously thinks that approval and encouragement lead to complacency.

The choleric makes a good preacher as well; although he is much less emotional. The world’s greatest generals, dictators, and gangsters have predominantly choleric; the world has benefit and suffered from the cholerics. The difference was because of their moral values and motivations.

The cholerics have that thing what people call a success tendency. That doesn’t mean they are smarter than other people, as is often assumed, but that their strong will and determination drive them to succeed where other; more gifted,  people are prone to give up.

The Career of the Melancholic

Most of the world’s great composers, artists, musicians, inventors, philosophers, theologians and dedicated educators have been predominantly Melancholics. Think about Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Beethoven, Mozart, Wagner and many others.

Almost every true musician has some Melancholy temperament, whether he is a composer, performing artist or a soloist. When you listen to country-western, you can hear the wail of the Melancholic.

One vocation that seems to attract the Melancholy is acting to the surprise of many, because we tend to identify this profession with extroverts. On stage they can adopt another personality, no matter how much extroversion it requires, but as soon as the play is over, he reverts back to his own introvert personality.

Many melancholics work in the arts, many become craftsmen of high quality – finish carpenters, bricklayers, plumbers, plasters, scientists, horticulturalists, mechanics, engineers, and other professions that provide a meaningful service to humanity.

Almost any humanitarian vocation will attract melancholics to its staff. It almost requires a Melancholic mind to get through the rigors of medical school, for a doctor has to be a perfectionist, an analytical specialist, and a humanitarian propelled by a heart that yearns to help other people.

Any vocation that requires perfection, self-sacrifice and creativity is open to melancholics.

In the building trades, the melancholy may want to supervise construction. But he would be better off hiring a project supervisor who works better with people and then spend his own time on the drawing board. Melancholics become frustrated by ordinary personnel problems with his unrealistic perfectionist demands.

The Career of the Phlegmatic

Phlegmatics seems drawn to the field of education. Most elementary school teachers are phlegmatic. Only they can have the patience to teach a group of first graders to read. A sanguine would spend the entire class period telling stories to the children. A melancholy would so criticize them that they would be afraid to read aloud. Can you imagine a choleric as a first grade teacher; the students might ant to leap out of the windows!

The gentle nature the phlegmatic assures the ideal atmosphere for such learning. This is not only true on the elementary level but in both high school and college, particularly in math, physics, grammar, literature and languages.

It is not uncommon to find phlegmatics as school administrators, librarians, counsellors and college department heads.

Phlegmatics also like engineering. They are attracted to planning and calculation, they make good structural engineers, chemical engineers, mechanical and civil engineers and statisticians.

The other day we had friends over for coffee (we were talking about this very subject); he told me that in the recent years management has discovered that experienced phlegmatics often make excellent foremen, supervisors and managers. Because they are diplomatic and unabrasive, they work well with people.

When given positions of leadership, they seem to bring order out of chaos and produce a working harmony conducive to increased productivity. Hey are wellorganized, never come to a meeting unprepared or late, tend to work well under pressure and are extremely dependable.

Phlegmatics are definitely not risk takers. They often stay with one company. Because they struggle with the problem of personal insecurity, they may take a job with retirement of security benefits in mind.

Therefore, civil service, the military, local government, or some other “good security risk” will attract them. Rarely will they launch out on a business venture of their own, although they are eminently qualified to do so. Instead they usually enhance the earning power of someone else and are quite content with a simple lifestyle.

Ok, this is a short version of the career possibilities of all 4 personality types. I might have awaken your appetite to know more about this. There are 2 books that I recommend: Personality Plus by Florence Littauer and The Spirit-Controlled Temperament by Tim Lahaye. I believe these books will help accept yourself and your personality.

Make it A Daily Choice to build your character and live towards your destiny.

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What is Your Unique Personality Type?

May 30, 2011 by 13 Comments
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You Can Only Understand Others by Understanding Yourself

 

What is Your Unique Personality Type?

by Olga Hermans

“When you discover God’s idea of you and the value He places upon you,
It will affect your whole lifestyle.” ~T.L.Osborn

 

 

The other day we had a conversation between friends who did a survey on our Personality Type which was really  interesting. Some of us knew which type they were and others were quite surprised. I really thought about writing an article on our own unique personality type. Remember, you are unique, you are one of a kind and you are EXTRA-ordinary!

I used to teach about the Personality Type in our school and it was always so much fun when people find out some qualities about themselves. It is very important that you know how to understand others by understanding yourself first. It will help you in friendships, with family, with romance, and at work.

Here are the four Basic Temperaments (Tim LaHaye).

1.  The Sanguine

This is the person that has the warm, buoyant and fun loving temperament. These people are very receptive by nature and when they come in contact with some exciting people or circumstances, they respond immediately with an outburst of response from the heart. They respond rather with feelings than with some reflective thoughts.

They have an unusual capacity to enjoy themselves. When they come into a room full of people, they have a tendency to lift up the spirits of everyone present by an energetic flow of conversation. They love to tell stories, because they almost relive the whole experience in the very telling of it.

They never lack friends; they can genuinely feel the joys and sorrows of other people and they have the capacity to make people feel important, as though the new acquaintance were a very special friend. This is something they are able to do with every person they come in contact with.

As you can imagine, they don’t like solitude; they enjoy people and they are at their best when they are surrounded by friends, where they are the life of the party. They never are at a loss for words, though they often speak without thinking.

A Biblical Sanguine

The apostle Peter was a sanguine. He was always talking wherever he went, isn’t it? Everything he said in the gospels was “wrong” except his great confession of Christ’s deity (see Matt.16:16). His sinful betrayal and easy repentance “with tears” is typically sanguine. They always feel bad for wrong-doing – after they get caught. But that is not the end of the story! Peter became the strong, resolute leader of the early church. In the Acts of the Apostles, everything he said was right, because he was filled with the Holy Spirit.

2. The Choleric

These people are hot, quick, active, practical and strong-willed. They are often self-sufficient and very independent. They tend to be decisive and opinionated, finding it easy to make decisions for themselves as well as for others.

They thrive on activity, as a matter of fact to them, “life is activity.” They don’t need to be stimulated by their environment; they are the ones who stimulate the environment with their many ideas, plans and ambitions. They don’t do things aimlessly; they have a very keen mind, capable of making sound, instant decisions or planning worthwhile, long-range projects.

They do not vacillate under pressure of what others think; they take a definite stand on issues. Adversities don’t scare them at all; in fact they are motivated by them. They often succeed where others fail, not so much because their plans are so much better than others’, but because they are still ‘pushing ahead” after others have become discouraged and quit. They are called born leaders, because they always land on their feet.

The emotions of the cholerics are not much developed; they don’t sympathize much with others and they also don’t show or express compassion. They are often embarrassed or disgusted by the tears of others. They are very optimistic; almost never expect failure except at home. Love is not a priority on his list.

A Biblical Choleric

I think the apostle Paul is a great example of the Choleric temperament. He was a prime persecutor of the early church before he was saved. He then pushed himself relentlessly until he had preached the Gospel around the then-known world.

Who but a choleric would crawl out from under a rock pile and the next day walk 12 miles to preach the gospel? But when he was filled with the Holy Spirit, Paul exhibited a gentleness and compassion. There is no limit to what a choleric person can do when he learns to walk in the Spirit and to abide in Christ.

3. The Melancholy

They are often referred to as the “black” or “dark” temperament. Actually they are the richest of all the temperaments, for they are very analytical, self-sacrificing, gifted and perfectionists. They have a very sensitive emotional nature. They love the fine arts.

Often times, they are introverts. Their feelings dominate them; sometimes their moods will lift them to heights of ecstasy that cause them to act more extrovert. But then there are times they will be gloomy and depressed, which makes them withdraw and be quite antagonistic.

They are very faithful friends, but they don’t make friends easily like the Sanguine does. They will not push themselves forward to push themselves forward to meet people. They are perhaps the most dependable of all the temperaments, because of perfectionist tendencies they do not permit themselves to be a shirker or let others down.

Melancholies usually find their greatest meaning in life through personal sacrifice. They seem to have a desire to make themselves suffer and will often choose a difficult life job that involves great personal sacrifice.

They have a very high IQ or more creativity or imagination, plus they are capable of high-quality “perfect” work.

Biblical Melancholies

Many outstanding Bible characters had strong Melancholy tendencies; all the prophets were melancholy, as was Solomon and the apostle John.

Moses was a very gifted introvert filled with self-doubt who eventually trusted God to make him one of the greatest leaders in all history. Yet Moses never had victory over his anger, which limited God’s use of his life and resulted in his dying without entering the Promised Land

4. The Phlegmatic

Life for a phlegmatic is a happy, unexcited, pleasant experience in which they avoid as much involvement as possible.

They are calm and easygoing people and never seem to get ruffled, no matter what the circumstances. They have a very high boiling point and seldom explode in anger or laughter but keep their emotions under control.

This is the one temperament that is very consistent every time you see them. Usually they are kind-hearted and sympathetic but they seldom convey their true feelings. They feel much more emotion though than appears on the surface.

Phlegmatics do not lack for friends because they enjoy people and have a naturally dry sense of humor that others enjoy.

They tend to be spectators of life and they try not to get too involved with the activities of others. In fact, it is difficult for them to be motivated to move beyond their daily routine. This does not mean that they cannot appreciate the need for action and the difficulties of others.

They have a conciliating effect on others and are natural peacemakers. In their quiet way, they have proven to be fulfillers of the dreams of others. They are masters of everything that requires meticulous patience and daily routine.

Biblical Phlegmatic

Abraham is a good example of a phlegmatic. He is a classic example of how God can transform a person’s natural weakness into strength. Abraham’s fear; worry, and decisions became resolution, courage and action to the point that more space is given to Abraham in the New Testament than any other Old Testament character.

Now that you have a short overview of the four temperaments, there is no doubt that you also realize that “people are individuals.” Not only are there four distinct types of temperaments that produce these differences, but the combination, mixtures and degrees of temperament multiply the possible differences. In spite of that, however, most people reveal a pattern of behaviour that indicates they lean toward one basic temperament.

We can’t make ourselves something we aren’t, we can only work on refining the weaknesses, which I believe is a lifetime process. You don’t have to battle so many insecurities, when you really know that God made you a certain personality. It is really freeing to truly find that out. Make it a daily choice to be true to yourself, you were born for greatness.

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5 Things That Master The Fear of Failure [Part 2]

May 26, 2011 by 4 Comments
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“No Fear Here” – Kenneth Copeland

“Courage is not only the absence of fear but the mastery of it.” Mark Twain

“You must do the thing that you fear until the fear of that thing becomes no more.”
– Brian Tracy

5 Things That Master The Fear of Failure [Part 2]

by Olga Hermans

You can read Part 1 by clicking here

1. See yourself as God sees you.

Meditate on who God says you are.

Start talking about yourself the way God sees you. God sees you through the blood of Jesus. God sees you as more than a conqueror. He sees you as the redeemed of the Lord.

There is a direct relationship between how vividly you can see yourself as God sees you and how rapidly you become that person. In other words, the more faithful you are about spending time in God’s Word, then the quicker you will become the person that God sees.

2. Become passionate and enthusiastic about what God says you can do.

The word enthusiasm comes from the Greek word which literally means “God-inspired” and” God-in”. When you are enthusiastic, that means that you can see God in every situation. Others may not be able to see what you see, but you see victory and success coming your way. You can see God at work in your behalf and it creates enthusiasm.

Enthusiasm and passion deepens your faith. Nothing great is ever achieved without them. You must be enthusiastic about whatever you do. You have to be passionate about establishing a ministry, or building a church, or about starting a business. Once again, nothing great is ever achieved without it.

3. Constantly affirm to yourself who you are, what you are and what you can do in Christ Jesus.

I realize this sounds basic and you may have already heard it 10.000 times but you are not going to be free to be you nor will you be the success that you are destined to be until you act on them every day of your life.

What does it mean to affirm? Affirmations are strong statements regarding what you believe. Affirm who you are and what you can do changes what is on the outside to what you see on the inside. Keep your conversation throughout the day consistent with what you believe God is saying about you. Remember to guard your mouth!

4. Feed your spirit daily on God’s Word and faith-building material.

The more you read, the more you listen, and the more you watch faith building programs, the less you will have to deal with fear because faith will come and fear will go. Be very selective about what you read, what you watch and what you listen to.

5. Associate with winners.

Associate with people who have conquered fear. Associate with winners. Stay away from people who constantly talk fear and stay away from people who constantly talk failure. Success breeds success and failure breeds failure. Who you associate with has everything to do with your outcome.

“He that walks with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed”. Prov.13:20

I like to give some extra today, here we go with 9 Winning principles from Daisy Osborn’s book “5 Choices for Women Who Win”.

Click Here to Purchase the Book

1) Practice the art of doing for others what you want them to do for you.

2) Recognize and value the unique person that you are.

3) Accept responsibility for the fact that your life is and will always be what YOU yourself make of it through your innate powers of choice, of decision and of action.

4) Absorb the principle that failure is never final, so if you do not succeed the first time, keep on trying.

5) Realize that whatever is worth your doing is worth doing the very best that you can.

6) Understand that true happiness is having hope, experiencing love and doing things for the betterment of people.

7) Assimilate the irreversible law that you are, and you become the tangible reality of the sum and substance of your own thoughts.

8) Grasp the winning criterion that what you learn, discover, prove and know becomes the only power that you yourself can utilize in this world.

9) Actualize the power within you by being calm and confident, accepting your own uniqueness, by knowing your distinct purpose, by being sure that your goals are right and good for God, for people and for yourself; and by going forward with Him as your source, without intimidation, inferiority or hesitation.

Make a choice today to be a doer of the Word and not let this information just sit on the pages, but take it to heart and act on it. Master the fear and do it as long as until the anxiety of the thing that you fear becomes no more and you can truly say: “No Fear Here”.

Thanks for the reading of this article. Tell me what you think and also tell me if there is a special that you would like me to  write about.  I value all of you who take the time and read this blog. Thank you very much. Scroll down a little and let me now what you think, ok?

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The Fear of Failure Needs To Be Conquered

May 25, 2011 by 8 Comments
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The Fear of Failure Needs To Be Conquered

by Olga Hermans

 

The Fear of Failure is the greatest barrier to success. So, if you want to be succesful you have to make a choice to conquer that fear. Let me tell you a little bit more about this fear by asking you first this question: “Are there things in your life that you are passionate about”? I, myself am passionate for God and I have a passion for souls. I also have a passion for life itself. If you are passionate about something, you won’t let anything stand between you and it.

Desire and passion are the greatest motivators for getting results. The greatest obstacle to your success and the tactic satan uses the most to destroy your passion is the fear of failure.

It is the anxiety that causes you to settle for far less than what God has in mind for your life. The fear of failure is probably the greatest single obstacle a believer has to overcome. Everyone has experienced failure in some way or another. Many people never recover from the experience of it.

If you have ever failed in anything, then satan would love to use that as an obstacle or a barrier in your life so that you never have confidence to step out again.

Let me tell you something about anxiety. You weren’t born with it. It is something that you learned. I believe that babies are born with two remarkable qualities. Number one, they were born largely unafraid. A baby does not come into the world with a fear of failure.

The other quality that a child is born with no shyness. They have no fear of failure and no shyness. Babies do whatever they want to do, at any place at any time. Did you notice that an infant does not ask its parents if it is okay to cry in a public area? They don’t care. They think every place is for them to cry as loud as they desire.

You came into this earth without fear and without any shyness. If you have anxiety in your life and you are shy then you had to learn that. You had to develop that. It did not come at birth and God did not give you a spirit of fear. We even say things like, “I have developed a fear of flying.” You were NOT born with that, you developed it!

Fear is a spiritual force and it is what activated satan just like faith activates God. Fear invites satan to manifest himself just like faith invites God to manifest himself. Fear is nothing more than confidence in the devil. It is reciprocal of faith. God is ready to take you higher in your life but you first have to conquer the fear of failure.

If you let anxiety control you, then you will not reach your full potential and you will never be free to be yourself.

God expects you to be fearless and bold in the face of all adversity. If you are going to experience God’s best, then it is mandatory that you conquer fear and especially the fear of failure. The fear of failure robs you of thinking big and expecting big things in your life. The fear of failure will keep you from stepping out and doing something new or something different.

Fear can immobilize you. If you are immobilized by fear; then you will settle for less than God’s best. Just as confidence is the result of meditating God’ Word, anxiety is the result of meditating on what the devil says. If you think about what the devil says long enough, it will create anxiety. Fear brings him on the scene just like faith brings God on the scene.

People of courage are not people who have never had fear. People who have courage are people who have mastered fear. God is looking for people who will master their fears. Are you one of them?

You will never find a person who has great faith and great fear at the same time. One negates the other. When faith comes, fear goes; but if you are not in the Word of God, then fear comes and faith goes. You are attracting one or the other into your life every day based upon what you listen to and what you see.

Your eyes are the gateway to your spirit. What you see and what you hear will get down in your spirit. We know that, we live in a world that is full of negative information. It is against our faith. It is against the knowledge of God. From time to time, we all have the opportunity to be in a negative atmosphere and to hear negative things.

If you have a television set, you have an opportunity to hear negative things every day. If you work in an environment where most of the people are not born-again, then you probably hear negative things every day.

Doubts are nothing more than faith in what the devil says and it will come to pass. If you doubt God, then that means you have confidence in what the devil says.

If you fail to conquer the fears that you have allowed to come into your life, then you are never going to be free to do what God put you on this earth to do.

Please come back tomorrow for the “5 Things on How Master the Fear of Failure“. Make a choice to stand up on the inside of you and conquer the Fear of Failure. This is your time to arise out of fear and complacency. You are here for such a time as this!

 

 

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The Power Of Endurance

May 23, 2011 by 7 Comments
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The Time Has Come For You To Dig In With The Force Of Endurance

 

 

The Power Of Endurance

by Olga Hermans

 

Do you have any idea how many decisions you make each day? I read a survey the other day that said that the average adult makes about 35,000 decisions per day. That’s a lot, isn’t it? Some decisions are more like a choice of course. So, let’s first have a look at the difference between a choice and a decision:

Let’s say you would walk into an ice cream store. There are so many flavours in front of you, that it is not very easy to make a choice. So, you consider the flavour or you might know right away what you want.

When we choose, it’s like picking an item from a menu. If we come back the next time, we can make another choice. But a decision cuts off other options. By its very definition, a decision is a turning point.

Many people don’t get far in their process of decision making. You need the quality of endurance to reach your goal; that trait of “hanging in there until,” becomes fundamental to reaching your goal of the decison that you made.

There are times in our life that satan wants to isolate us, to get us off on our own, to “cut us out of the herd.” He will tell you things like “you are one of a kind” or “there is nobody else that has gone through a situation like yours.” He is such a liar, he always comes with the same old tricks.

Do not let him tell you that you are the only one that has walked this path, or that nobody understands what you are going through. He knows that if he can get you out there alone, all by yourself, you will eventually get into a pity party. As soon as you see it coming, just think of it as garbage, because that is exactly what it is. The devil is just trying to set you up for a big fall.

Determined to Win

 

 

Vancouver Canucks Players

 

This weekend the Canadians have been watching the hockey games, the Vancouver Canucks against the San Diego Sharks. The team has shown that it can carry on when players were injured during the season. They have to play so many games to be the winners. You can almost hear them saying to themselves, “If we can just hang on until the bell rings.” And that is exactly what you have to do. Keep giving your best, until you win.

Running the race with patience (Hebr.12:1) does not mean to run with some calm, serene look on our faces, not being concerned when another runner is trying to pass. It does not mean to sit around twiddling your thumbs. No! It means we are to run the race with determination, with perseverance, with endurance.

We are in the race to win! We have made a decision, and we are in it for the long haul. The race is not over until we are in the winner’s circle. This is the attitude you have to have.

Dust Off Your Dream

Has God ever given you a dream, a vision and a plan that has caused you to be so excited that you were not able to sleep? But then the devil started chatting with you about “reality.”

“Why, there is no way you will ever be able to get something like that done,” that demon of discouragement will say to you. “That is too expensive. That is too complicated. Someone else will have to do that project. Besides, no one appreciates your hard work anyway!”

That God-given dream of yours started sinking like it had concrete blocks tied to it. Admit it, you gave up on it. You began to question whether you had really heard from God in the first place!

The time has come for you to dig in with the force of endurance and resurrect that dream. Endure. Remain constant, stay with it, and hang in there, no matter what! Abraham did not have any hope, but he hoped any way. Get your eyes off your circumstances, quit considering what your senses are telling you (and what your relatives might be telling you, too) and start giving glory to God.

It is really true: God is able to perform that which He promises. And that is something to shout about!

You can subscribe to The Daily Choice which brings an encouraging message 5 days a week to your inbox by clicking here

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