How to Enjoy a Stress Free Christmas Season

 

 

 

 

How to Enjoy a Stress Free Christmas Season

 

 

Being “stressed out” is a relatively new concept, entering contemporary usage in the late 1920’s. In many respects, the notion of being stressed is an idea promoted by modern media which tells us all the things we must do to experience perfection and then commiserates with us as we consistently fail to achieve it. In particular, the multitude of expectations surrounding the Christmas season can set us up for stress, if we don’t make conscious decisions to be “in the world but not of it.” Let’s first define stress and then move on to removing it from our lives.

What Is Stress?

According to Merriam-Webster online, stress is “the burden on one’s emotional or mental well-being created be the demands on one’s time.” Put simply, stress places demand on one’s resources that exceed the available supply of those resources; be it time, money, emotions or physical capacity. But wait. As Believers, who is our resource and who is our supply? Stress is the inevitable response when we allow ourselves to become disconnected from our Source. Let’s redirect our attention to our Supply and Source.

As A Man Thinks, So Is He

How do we know that we are stressed? Some telltale signs are worry, fear, irritation and weariness. Often we experience physical symptoms including a rush of adrenaline, and perhaps feelings of breathlessness or overwhelming fatigue. But I believe the main way that we know we are stressed is that our minds become occupied with it. We think or even say “I am so stressed out” or “I don’t know if I can take this much longer” or “How will I ever get everything done?” and so on. It doesn’t take too long for our thoughts and words to bear fruit – the unwanted fruit of stress. But there is an antidote to physical symptoms and troubling thoughts. There is a Name that is above stress.

The Name Above Stress

If you have been dwelling on the demands being placed on your finite resources, take a deep breath and focus on your infinite Supply and Source. God needs many names to describe the multitude of his perfections. Here are a few of His names that demonstrate His superiority over finite supply – which is at the root of stress.

Jehovah-Jireh

This name describes His perfection as our supply: Jehovah-Jireh means the One who sees our needs and provides for them. Do you have a need? Is your supply lacking? Then behold and meditate on Jehovah-Jireh, the Lord your supplier.

Jehovah-Rohi

Another name that describes God’s role as provider is The Lord My Shepherd. Psalm 23 tells us that we shall not want for any good or beneficial thing. Do you need more time? Fewer things to do? The Lord your Shepherd is your faithful provider.

Jehovah-Shammah

When we are in the middle of situations that outstrip our supply, we often feel that we are alone. One of Satan’s craftiest tactics is to create a sense of isolation from each other and from our Source. But God has another name that addresses our temptation to feel alone: Jehovah-Shammah. This name describes how God will never leave us nor forsake us. Psalm 139:8 states the ever-present quality of God like this: “If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.”

Jehovah-Shalom

Stress robs us of our peace. “Absence of trouble” is the world’s idea of peace. In other words, external circumstances dictate whether or not we are at peace. But God always has a better way. Jehovah’s shalom penetrates our spirit man. In the midst of trying situations, we can shape our circumstances from a position of supernatural peace that comes only from God.

There are many more names of God that speak to his desire and sufficiency to supply our every need. When feeling stressed, it’s good to remember that “the name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe” (Proverbs 18:10).

What’s Our Part In Reducing Stress?

In addition to meditating on God as our Supply, we need to ask Him for help to honestly evaluate the demands on our resources. God doesn’t honor laziness, but He also has a spirit-directed plan for how each of us use the resources He has given us – particularly time.
God has promised wisdom to those who ask (James 1:5). We can ask for and receive wisdom to know what to commit to and what not to commit to. If you are prone to overextending yourself, ask God for wisdom in this area.

Isn’t it interesting that when we are under stress, the first thing many of us skimp on is time with the Lord – BIG mistake. We must go to the Lord and seek His wisdom at the first sign of stress. Ask Him to show us His way that we may walk in it. Ask Him for discernment in requesting help from others.

To Sum It Up

Make a conscious decision to be “in the world, but not of it.” There is no family or societal tradition that is more important than loving God and honoring Him. Let this be a year that you and your family experience a Christmas season free of stress.

The most important way to reduce stress is to spend time in the presence of the Lord. Meditate on the names of God, Your Supply and Source.

Do your part to minimize stress by honestly evaluating your commitments.

 

Wise choices will watch over you. Pro 2:11 NLT
You can subscribe to The Daily Choice which is a SPIRITUAL Devotion that helps you to make the right choices in your life!

 

 

A Daughter Delivered and Predators Unmasked

 

Today  I feel so honored to introduce you to a mother of 10; I know her from the time I was attending VBI and lived in Tulsa. Her husband was one of my teachers. My daughter used to babysit her children.

I was very touched by the story that had happened to them as a family, which is one of the stories of many households these days…

I know you will be blessed today by their testimonial; I hope you will enjoy their own blog as well.

Enjoy: Olga

A Daughter Delivered and Predators Unmasked

By Lisa Cherry

 

 

We were considered a model pastor’s family. Close, connected, hardworking, fun.

That was the community picture until that revealing day in October when we opened an $800 cell phone bill. A billing error. That’s what my protective Mama’s mind preferred to believe.

But when all phone calls were traced, the full reality of our horrifying discovery became apparent. They all led to the cell phone of a 46 year old man from our church and the hotel rooms he frequented while traveling on business.

Our precious Sunday school teaching, 15 year old daughter, Kalyn, had been lured into a secret relationship with this trusted family “friend.” Instantly our beautiful family’s world exploded.

With her innocence shattered and her soul traumatized, Kalyn became an impossible teen—like the ones our family had previously helped other parents minister to. Depression, rebellion, anger, cutting, wrong relationships and eating disorders became our daily enemies.

I remember those days as if looking back on a bad movie script. Loud, angry confrontations. Runaway chases. Odd cars showing up in our driveway. Golf balls thrown through windows and glass used to cut arms.

Truly the enemy worked every one of his tricks to terrorize and destroy our home. Our pain threatened to drive us from the path of our Lord’s service. But God had another plan!

What happened to our daughter took us years to truly understand. Sexual abuse had ushered her into a world of deception. She had become one of this generation’s statistics. We did not know back then that one in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused by the age of 18.

We naively thought we were immune to predators since we had taught her about dangerous strangers. Sadly, we did not understand the crazy allure of grooming strategies practiced by those who would deceive.

Beyond the obvious sexual damages, she was tricked to abandon the truth planted in her heart. She joined—for a season—the throngs of young people shifting their view of God to accommodate the sexual filth of our day.

But Jesus and His word did not return void in her life! She was rescued out of her deception and pain by our loving heavenly Father.

That same girl encountered the power of her Savior who delivered her from the deceiver’s grip. Today she is a happily married mama of a beautiful baby girl who shares her testimony with all the parents and young people who will give her an ear!

Our family’s story is not unique in its pain. It is, however, rare in its outcome.
I often think if I had one day of my life to live over, it would be that day in October those several years ago when we discovered our daughter’s secret. How I wish I could walk through that day with my current level of understanding and wisdom.

However, that day has passed, and today, I am given an opportunity to influence my other kids who are still passing through our home, and the many others who have been assigned to our ministry. I must help them to grow a heart of wisdom that will protect them and equip them to live a powerful life with their Savior.

Perhaps as you are reading our story today you can relate to some of our family’s pain. Maybe your life has been touched by the predators of this age. Maybe you are a parent or grandparent helplessly watching your children spiral out of reach as they have left your protective cover.

Maybe you are carrying secrets that have polluted your own inner world. Sexual abuses and sins that are not dealt with are buried alive and able to control our lives.

Our kids are living in a sex-saturated culture gone mad. Sexual predators, both in human form and in ideological form, threaten to destroy young lives from within.

We hear the stories every week as we encounter families and their pain. Sexual abuse, homosexuality, cohabitation, pornography and lewdness have invaded our Christian circle by storm.

Are we prepared, body of Christ, for our day of battle? Will our children survive the veritable flood of dissipation? Only if we awaken to our King’s voice and heed His words of instruction! Parents, grandparents, and leaders, we must awaken. Denial or wishful thinking will not deliver this generation from the enemy’s plan of destruction.

 

Lisa and her daughter, Kalyn, share their full story in Unmask the Predators: The Battle to Protect Your Child. Doug and Lisa Cherry are founders of Frontline Family Ministries, and POTTS (Parents of Teens and Tweens.)  Together with their children they travel and speak to parents and teens. Their videos, books and blogs are equipping a new generation of parents to lead their kids through a hostile culture. You can contact them and find their Unmask book, workbook and video curriculum at Frontlinfamilies.org. Lisa blogs at Frontlinemoms.com.

 

 

 

 

 

Are You Ruling As A King And Priest In Your Home?

 

 

 

Are You Ruling As A King And Priest In Your Home?

 

 

Sometimes we learn things and although we don’t forget them, they go dormant waiting for an opportune time to resurface. In the last few weeks, I experienced this as my pastor began speaking about the Believer’s role as king and priest. All of a sudden, everything I had learned came to the forefront once more. I believe it is an important message for this hour.
Jesus has made us kings and priests in His kingdom. We are not a king or a priest. We are both king and priest. So what is a king and what is a priest?

Kings and Priests

A king is a person with absolute authority over all the affairs of his domain. Kings are responsible for the welfare and protection of their subjects. They represent their domain and the principles on which it is founded.

A priest is a person whom God has given authority to go before God on behalf of men and go before men on behalf of God. Going before God requires that the priest be without sin. As Believers, we are made sinless through the washing of Christ’s blood. No man will be cleaner than one who has been washed in the blood of Jesus. Soap and water cleanse only the body. The blood of Jesus cleanses your soul. In god’s sight we are without sin and can approach Him as priests.

You are freed from all sin to live for God as His king and priest. Isn’t that awesome?

Did you notice that authority resides in both roles? We absolutely can reign in life and achieve all the things that God has planned for us. We are equipped to take charge of both our personal domain and to be change agents in the world around us. We are called to use our authority in prayer to bring God’s will to pass in the earth. We no longer have to dabble in worry, doubt and unbelief allowing the circumstances of this life to weigh us down.

To function in the role of king and priest you must see yourself as both king and priest. Use your thoughts to affirm God’s desire for you in the authority He has given you and how it will impact destinies – not only your own, but of those who are within your sphere of influence.

Everyone Is Subject To Someone’s Authority

Each of us must answer to another’s authority. In order to fully exercise our authority, we, ourselves, need to be under Godly authority. Your pastor is an authority over you as a part of your local church. The anointing on the pastor flows through to the congregation. I love it that my church is an actively praying church. When we pray, we know that things are changing and that things are shifting. Our pastors’ strong apostolic anointing is clearly evident when they speak. And because they are my pastors, as one who is under their authority, I expect their anointing to flow in my life. I believe that great things will happen in my personal life and in my family.

What Is The Importance of Living As A King And Priest?

Why are we to live as a king and priest? This is the order that God Himself has ordained. God will always honor the principles and structures that He has set in place. He will support you as you learn to function in these roles and loves it when you begin exercising your authority in greater measure over your home, family, business and all of your possessions.

God has a plan for you: He desires for you to partner with Him on the earth in broader realms of influence and authority through you and your prayers. God has called us to use our God-given authority to further His Kingdom, beginning in our households.

Are You Living Like a King and Priest in Your Home?

Revelation 1:6 says: “And has made us kings and priests to His God and Father, to Him be glory and dominion forever and ever.” Amen. God has a plan for all of us to reign as kings and priests in this life. So, are you ruling your home life as a king and priest?

You see, when we consider the functions of kings and priests, we notice that most of us are not living as such in our households.

How does a king reign in his home? Is there confusion as to who sets the standard in the home? Is the enemy allowed to come in and countermand the king’s standards? Is there poverty in the home? Does the king act and dress as a pauper? No, of course not. In the home of the king there is order and authority, a code of conduct, prosperity and abundance. A king has compassion for those under his authority and he uses his authority to advance his subjects’ well being.

And how does a priest function within his household? Does a priest take care of his own spiritual needs and leave other household members to do the same? No, a priest ministers to his household. He imparts honour of God and conformance to God’s standards. He teaches the difference between right and wrong. He covers the home in prayer. He goes before God and represents his household.

The king protects and supplies while the priest teaches, imparts and advocates. As a king and priest, you have a responsibility within your own family. You are responsible to protect your family by proclaiming the blood of Jesus over all family members, thus imparting His protection. Then you assure provision for the needs of your family through acknowledging that God is the only source in your life and that there is no other god before you.

The Details Of God’s Plan Are Found In His Word

We have been given the Bible as the standard to order our own life. In it we can find the guidance for daily life. We have a choice before us to live under its authority or to rebel or abdicate.

Living as a king and priest is the best life that we can live while on this earth. It is not only God’s will for us to live as a king and priest, but it is also an excellent lifestyle that will produce abundance and fruit in your life.

You can subscribe to The Daily Choice which is a SPIRITUAL Devotion that helps you to make the right choices in your life by clicking here

 

 

Your Facebook Family Tree: Trim It With Love

 

 

Today is our last day of our Social Media series this month. I am so glad that you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Now, you also know some of my friends on Facebook. 🙂

Dorien and I have something special in common and that is that both of us are Dutch; we come from the same country: The Netherlands. And although we have never seen each other, there is that one thing that makes it a little special, no maybe 2 things: both of us are Dutch and both of us love Social Media.

I know that you will enjoy her post as much as I do, maybe especially because of all the insights she gives on how to do certain things on Facebook. Enjoy her post and please leave her a comment.

Here is Dorien!

 

Your Facebook Family Tree: Trim It With Love

  by Dorien van Dam 

 

Remember when you first made your Facebook profile? Whether it was yesterday, months or years ago… Facebook ‘knows who you know’ and you probably gathered your first few family members and close friends and ‘friended’ about 50-60 people within a week. I venture to guess your Facebook family tree quickly branched out when old high school friends found you, present and past colleagues sent friend-requests and your child’s teacher or your neighbor’s son asked as well. Sounds about right? Maybe you made a business page since it is the only way to conduct business on Facebook. You got fans. With that, I dare to wager, came the friend-requests of people who really weren’t your friend. Business associates, fellow bloggers, other page owners and just plain strangers, all wanting to ‘friend’ you. Feeling it? Now how do you keep track of the friendships, make sure you see the important updates of your loved ones and don’t miss anything you value on Facebook? Here are some ideas and Facebook features to do all that AND keep your Facebook family tree healthy, trimmed and neat so you are in control.

USE YOUR LISTS For personal profile/friends only

Use the initial ‘Lists’ Facebook set up for you, and put people in the appropriate lists. They are:

* ‘Your Town’ Area

* Family

* Close Friends

* Friends of ‘Your Business Fan Page

Create new lists

Think:

* Acquaintances

* Sports Friends

* Colleagues

* PTA moms

* Friends in Europe

* Etc.

Each list you add to your profile creates a new ‘filtered news feed’ meaning only the status updates/posts of those personal profiles on that list are seen in that filtered feed.

CREATE INTEREST LISTS

Add both personal profile/friends AND Facebook Pages to these interest lists.

Think:

* Social Media Managers and their Pages

* Local Pages and Page owners

* Experts in your field

* Authors Pages

* Publishers

* Restaurants

* Entertainment in Your Town

* Fellow Bloggers and their Pages

* Etc.

Each list and interest list you add to your profile creates a new ‘filtered news feed’ meaning only the status updates/posts of those personal profiles or pages on that list are seen in that filtered feed.

CREATE GROUPS

Groups on Facebook are a great way to solidify new friendships or to share sensitive content.

* Secret groups are great for MasterMind-type groups, family groups or support groups. No one can see who’s in them or what is talked about. They are by invite only and do not show up in Facebook searches.

* Closed groups are great for like-minded business owners, networking groups, PTA’s, camps, sports teams, fraternities and sororities, book clubs etc. They do show up in Facebook searches and everyone can see the members, but no one outside the group can see the posts. Admission is by approval of the admin to the group.

* Open groups are good for large brands, fundraising campaigns and interests like ‘reading’, ‘writing’, ‘surfing’ etc. Everyone can join, everyone can see the posts.

How will this help you ‘trim’ your Facebook family tree? When you want to interact with a person about their business or a mutual interest, but you have nothing else in common, groups are an ideal meeting place. Being in a group with a business associate gives you access to them and lets you tag that person in a group, but it protects your personal newsfeed from their updates. If you feel inclined, you can ‘friend’ later. It’s almost like trying out a friendship first, to see if it is a good fit! 😉

HIDE UPDATES

This option is great for friends and family you love, but whose continues and annoying updates or game requests you despise! Hide all but their ‘most important’ posts and you are both happy. Your online relationship continues without hurt feeling and you both win. (And they will NEVER know you hid their annoying statuses 😉 )

DELETE SPAMMERS

I am sure you’ve accepted friend-requests from those known to you or not, to only regret it right away: You are inundated with messages about events you never want to go to, receive coupons for items you will never purchase or find game requests notifications each time you log on. Only one way to deal with them: un-friend them NOW! Do not react to them, or send them message to ‘please stop’. You are one of many Facebook friends; spammers play the ‘number’ game. They probably care very little about you and what you want. They want to sell you something or promote themselves.

UNFRIEND THOSE WHO ARE NOT WORTHY

You must know whom I am referring to: People who continually bash others, people who are very negative, people who are extremely controversial and post inappropriate stuff. There is nothing left but to un-friend those people along with the spammers. And guess what; unless they go looking, they will not even notice you ‘left’ the conversation! No notice will go out that you un-friended them.

I love my Facebook family!

Facebook is a great platform to connect on. I personally use B2C and B2B marketing and I have met some great people on Facebook I am proud to call my friends! Taking the time to ‘trim your tree’ every once in a while will enhance your productivity: It will create more time for those who are a positive influence, those who share your vision and those who with amazing content. Will you take the time this week to trim yours? Leave a comment and let me know when you do!

 

Dorien Morin-van Dam is the face behind the orange glasses! Proud to be Dutch, Dorien wears orange glasses in real life, too!

As the social media manager of my own company, I find myself frequently talking and walking business owners and friends alike through the initial steps of social media set up and management. Explaining and helping them understand this is important. Even though they might delegate some or all of their social media to a social media management company, it is crucial for them to understand how the different platforms work before they engage in social media marketing.

More in Media

 

 

 

 

How Your Family Can Benefit from Social Media

 

 

Today is another social media day and my friend Mandy Edwards talks about how families can not only benefit from social media but embrace it in a way that it is fun and bring our relationship with our chilren even to a higher level.

Using social media is among the most common activity of today’s children and adolescents. Ok, there are some risks inherent to online social networking, but there are also many potential benefits. Social networking can provide opportunities for new relationships as well as strengthening existing relationships, whether your kids’ friends are close to home or across the world. It’s important to be vigilant when your kids are getting involved in online social networking, but it’s also good to encourage positive relationships through various avenues, including the Internet.

I know you will enjoy today’s post from my friend Mandy who I also met in the same business networking group online where we learn and receive input from each other. So, I will not put you on hold any longer; here is Mandy!

 

How Your Family Can Benefit from Social Media

by Mandy Edwards

How Your Family Can Benefit from Social Media

“Okay sweetie, let me take a picture so I can post it on Facebook for grandma.”

“I saw where you tweeted you ate at Olive Garden!  Was it good?”

“Oooh, I love the pin of that recipe you made last time you were home.”

Any of these sound familiar?

Social media has integrated itself into our lives – both professionally and personally.

I always blog about how social media can benefit your business, but today I’m blogging about how families can benefit from social media.  Yes, families can benefit.

Example: me.

Born in Iowa, I moved to Missouri when I was 10, then Georgia when I was 16.   I have lived in a lot of places.  My mom was an Army brat.  My dad lived in one town for the first 28 years of his life.  Moves and military have my family spread everywhere.  My parents live in Louisiana, I am in Georgia, my sister is in South Carolina (until October, then the Marines are moving them to Southern California) and my extended family lives in Missouri, Texas and Tennessee.  Without social media we would have such a disconnect.  But thanks to it, we stay in touch more than we did B.F., you know, Before Facebook.

Social media does a wonderful job of keeping grandparents up on what their grandkids are doing.  Parents overseas in the military can Skype each day with their loved ones back home.

Social media is meant to be social.  We can let those who cannot be with us be a part of our lives.  I know my mom appreciates seeing all the pictures of the things my two girls do – she feels likes she’s here while being 12 hours away.

Some benefits of families using social media are…

  1. More Involvement – when families use social media to stay in touch, they are more involved in each others’ lives.  It’s like a family reunion when everyone is on!
  2. Closer Relationships – by staying involved, relationships can become closer.  I know with my mom on Facebook, I message back and forth more than we talk on the phone.  Having that ongoing conversation helps with communication.
  3. Parents can keep up on their kids – If you are friends with your kids, then you can see who they are interacting with.  And trust me, you will want to do this.  I am still thankful we didn’t have Facebook when I was in high school and college.
  4. Sharing the Love – Memories.  Remembering past events.  Family members can post pictures of loved ones gone before us and share the great memories they had.  You can see a loved one’s wedding pictures if you couldn’t make it.

Of course, there is always a flip side to the benefits, but that can be another post on another day.

In the grand scheme of life, communication is key.  Social media provides an effective and efficient way for family members to interact.  With the launch of Google+’s Hangout, multiple family members can video chat while living in several different states.

In today’s world, families are busy and there is a communication breakdown.   Family dinners are a thing of time gone by – fast food dinners in the car between dance and ball practice are the norm.  Teens spend more time with their noses down texting.  Video games keeps tweens glued to the TV.  Social media brings all of them away from this and allows them to video chat and interact with their family members, especially those who do not live close.

What are some ways your family is benefitting from social media?  Comment below!  I’d love to hear!

About Mandy Edwards

Mandy Edwards is the owner of ME Marketing Services, a marketing firm in Statesboro, Georgia that specializes in social media marketing for small businesses.  The local go-to person on spcial media, Mandy is a momprenuer , President of her local chapter of BNI – Business Networking International and 2013 Chair for her local Relay for Life.

For more information on Mandy, please visit www.memarketingservices.com.  You can also follow her on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter (@memktgservices).

 

Finding Your Passion – How to Get Motivated in Life

 

Finding Your Passion – How to Get Motivated in Life

by Olga Hermans

 

 

Everyone today seems to be busy. Ask just about anyone how they are and they will respond, “Busy.” And it’s no wonder. Roughly 78 percent of women with children aged between six and seventeen work outside the home. Many people spend their lives trying to climb the ladder of success only to find when they reach the top; their ladder was leaned against the wrong building all the time.

In other words, people are passionate, but passionate about the wrong things. God never told us to be busy. He told us to be fruitful. We are making a big mistake if we associate being busy with being successful. Many marriages have been destroyed because one or both partners are too busy to spend time with each other.

Many people lose their health because they are addicted to life in the fast lane. They don’t rest properly and eventually their body breaks down under the strain of nonstop activity. I have believed that lie at one time. I thought the busier I was, the less time I had to even hear from God concerning what His will was for me. I had a plan and I was working my plan. I was diligent and passionate, but my passion was in the wrong place.

Just being busy doesn’t mean anything; it definitely doesn’t mean that you are successful. It means that you are busy, that’s it!! Have you heard this little story about the woodcutter? He was very strong and asked for a job with a timber merchant and got it. The pay was really good and so were the work conditions. For that reason the woodcutter was determined to do his best. He wanted to be a success on his new job.

His boss gave him an ax and showed him the area where he was supposed to work. The first day the woodcutter brought 18 trees back. “Congratulations,” the boss said. “Go on that way!” Very motivated by the boss’ words, the woodcutter tried harder the next day, but he could only bring back 15 trees. The third day he tried even harder, but he only brought back 10 trees. Day after day, no matter how hard he tried, he was bringing back fewer trees.

I must be losing my strength, the woodcutter thought. He went to the boss and apologized, saying he could not understand what was going on. “When was the last time you sharpened your ax?” the boss asked. “Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my ax. I have been very busy trying to cut trees.”

You might have heard this story before, but it is a very good reminder for us to not make the mistake of being too busy to do the things we need to do in order to be a genuine success. This is also a good place to check our motives again. You see, we cannot impress God with how much we do or with what we do. He is interested in our motives; why we have done it and it must be very good, Godly reasons.

We shouldn’t do things to impress people and to be admired. These are not good motives. Doing things just to please people is not always the right thing either. We are told to strive to please others, but not to live to please others. Rom. 15:2-3 That’s a big difference!

Let me tell you this: If you don’t learn to follow your heart and the spirit of God, you will always live under pressure. I just wrote an eBook on prayer where I describe how that works. I think it is one of the most important things that we have to learn, to follow the Holy Spirit in our lives. That is the very reason why God sent him to us. John 16:13

If God says “no”, then you must say “no,” no matter how much you are pressured by others to say “yes.” Likewise, if God is saying “yes,” then we must say “yes,” even if the world is saying “no!” The devil is a thief and a liar and one of the things he thoroughly enjoys is stealing our time. Time is a precious resource God has given us. Each of us have a certain amount of time allotted to us, and once we have used up any portion of it, we can never get it back.

Do you find yourself complaining a lot about everything you have to do? If so, you should inspect the fruit of each thing you are putting your time into. I can guarantee you will find a lot of your activities are not helping you fulfill your destiny.

The devil can make you feel guilty about not doing something you have been asked to do. The should’s and ought’s in life can be very domineering. Everybody wants you to do their thing. They have plans and want you to to help them fulfill them, but they are probably not concerned about whether or not you are fulfilling your purpose. Make a decision today about whether you are going to live for people or for God.

The next time you feel really tired, ask yourself what is the cause. If you’re tired from putting forth effort that is helping you fulfill your God-ordained purpose, then be happy. If you are tired from running around in circles being busy, but going nowhere, then repent and make some changes in your schedule so you don’t keep repeating the same wasteful cycle. You make your schedule and you are the only one who can change it.

People are frustrated when they are not fulfilling their purpose. If you are not able to focus your passion, you will have no energy; it will drain you. We all can get caught up in an emotional hype that has absolutely nothing to do with our purpose in life. Don’t make the mistake of wasting your life and having nothing but regrets to look back on.

Tell us how and where do you find your passion? How do you know you are on the right track?

You can subscribe to The Daily Choice which brings an encouraging message 5 days a week to your inbox by clicking here

 

The moral and ethical side of wanting to make a lot of money in business

 

You Are in For A Treat!!

 

Today I am honored to bring a post by my coach Sandi Krakowski to the table. She has boosted my life and my business in many ways beyond what I could have ever imagined. She is a no-nonsense teacher and knows how to keep you on track. Meeting her and hooking up with her has been one of the best choices in my life. There is always a challenge when you read one of her posts or attend one of her business calls. So today I want to bring that blessing right here on The Choice Driven Life. Let us know how much you enjoyed today’s post!

This article was first published in A Real Change. To receive your own FREE “Make More Money With Your Blog” training, go to ARealChange.com and claim your free coaching class NOW!

The moral and ethical side of wanting
to make a lot of money in business

By:  Sandi Krakowski

In today’s economy, many people are looking for a small business as a way to supplement or replace a lost income. Some even desire to replace a current working income because they are not enjoying the current condition of Corporate America. Having your own business that operates virtually online has become the path to ‘dreams come true’ for people who would have never thought of doing so in the past.

As we’ve had the opportunity to coach many new and aspiring business owners one of the first things I ask of my clients is WHY are they wanting to work online and run their own business. Unanimously, the common answer I always hear is a desire to make more money.

When someone wants to make more money there are a host of challenges that arise that many new business owners are not prepared for. Something I’d like to shed some light on is the fact that desiring to make a lot of money in business is not only a great moral desire but also a very ethical desire.  One of the reasons creating a lot of money in business is both ethical and moral is that in order to succeed in business you must work on more than just learning new marketable skills.

The CEO must work on becoming a better person who can run, manage and create a large business. As a matter of fact this is one of the biggest things that a business owner must do to be successful and it is the place where success separates from mediocre. In other words, many aspire to succeed; few will walk the road it takes to get to where they’re dreaming of being.

One very prevalent thing new business owners are facing as they seek to build a company is that most people believe that building a big business is inherently bad. Many think they have not been influenced by the things that are directed towards the attack of wealth and business but the reality is there is a long term ripple effect that has been building up for years that makes it a big challenge to move forward in prosperity as a business owner.

Rabbi Daniel Lapin shares in his book, “Thou Shall Prosper”

“Understand that it is very unlikely that you have not been at least slightly impacted by the culture’s slander of business. For those doubtful of how successful the campaign to discredit the worthiness of business has been, Business Week featured a cover story entitled, “Too Much Corporate Power” Sept 2000 that quantified American attitudes toward business with polls

72% of Americans agreed that business has gained too much power over too many aspects of American life.
Only 47 percent agree that “in general, what is good for business is good for most Americans” (down from 72% in 1996)
66 percent agree that “large profits are more important to business than developing safe, reliable, quality products”
Only 27 percent thought that business had “fair and reasonable prices, relative to their profits”

While certainly admiring the achievements of many of today’s wildly successful young entrepreneurs, many Americans have become conditioned to distrust the morality of business. “

If as a society we distrust the morality and ethical value of growing enormous profits as a company it is a natural law of success and wealth that we will struggle to increase our own personal wealth as a business owner until we rectify this on a personal level. To see if you happen to have such judgements and skepticism of company growth and the rich, ask yourself if you’ve ever made comments about those “Big deep pocketed executives who are only out for themselves” or have you given into popular opinion that the “Rich should be taxed because they can afford to cover the rest of us who are struggling.” Judging and distrusting the rich is a huge error if you aspire to increase your own personal wealth.

Daniel Lapin continues with this profoundly disturbing but truthful statement-

“Here is the message that the culture is broadcasting: If you cause unbearable pain to others while in pursuit of your sexual pleasure, you will find understanding and sympathy. However, if you are a businessperson causing even the slightest tinge of discomfort to others while in pursuit of profit and wealth, you will immediately and unconditionally be condemned as immoral.”

As I coach one on one with many clients and in groups with 40-80 clients at a time, I have become very painfully aware of how many people are not only judging the rich they are nearly terrified to break out of the set pattern of our culture and will unconsciously do anything they can to prevent themselves from being successful. The occurrence of procrastination increases, the reasons for not moving forward rise and the extenuating circumstances that prevent one from really working as hard as they can and giving it their all come in more flavors than even ice cream. Sadly, most people who say they want to make more money have never even considered let alone truly given intense thought to the moral and ethical side of making money.

When we add in the dignity and morality of business, the reality of inviting real mentorship into your space and getting to know oneself at a deep level, most people grow so uncomfortable they will stop before acquiring any level of success. If they do move forward, once the realization that they must drop the idol of perfection, learn to know and act on what is coming in the future and really do what it takes to succeed in business on a daily level, most people will succumb to what they’ve always known. They recoil and take the ‘well worn path’, even though it’s really a place of misery and distraught and the argument and war against wealth continues, full steam ahead.

My friends, did you ever dream in a million years that you are actually fighting a moral and ethical war when you seek to increase your own personal wealth, grow a big company, create jobs for many people and provide for those who cannot provide for themselves? Success is far more than a dream, it’s something that in order to achieve you’ll need to truly get over lesser things and grow as the Champion you were designed to be.

I’ll never forget when God had a heart to heart talk with me and told me to STOP worrying about what people think of me. He told me that it was far more than getting over my insecurities and fears of what people thought of me. It was greater than being concerned about the judgements that they had against me. He said that I had entered the realm that was in war for quite sometime before I even got there and while I certainly am not at the level of many big high level corporations, I had entered the rank of battle that many company owners know nothing about because they quit far too soon.

I want to challenge you today, to ask yourself why you want to make more money in business. Is it merely to increase your own personal net worth? And if it isn’t just for your own personal satisfaction and consumption are you willing to make a commitment to not only build a business, but become a NEW you?

Wealth will require the following equation.   

Increased Wealth =  The New You – The Old You

This equation was first presented to me in Daniel Lapin’s book and it really gave me an enormous breakthrough. The concept of getting new friends, a new mind, new ways of thinking and doing things is not a mere suggestion for those who wish to get a raise on a job, it’s an absolute requirement if you desire to create a entirely new future for yourself and your family. The New You will attract new opportunities, it will increase your confidence, you’ll make more money and more people will be attracted to you because of this. In other words, to acquire more money you CANNOT stay the same, stay who you are or continue to live as you do. It will require that you work on far more than merely new learning skills. Anyone who tells you to get new skills is really short changing the equation of real wealth creation- get a new YOU for a new life and a new bank account is the reality you’ll end up with.

Lastly, because it is a moral and ethical thing to make more money, I have another challenge to present you with today. Here is it. It is perfectly acceptable and kosher for you to ask God to help you to make more money. It’s perfectly acceptable for you to ask God for more money in general! If you are comfortable with prayer, go ahead and include a request for prosperity in your prayer time. What you are truly asking for my friends, is an increased opportunity to serve your fellow human beings and make an impact to benefit others.

That… is what A Real Change is all about.

Sandi Krakowski

 

Sandi Krakowski is a Mompreneur, Coach, Strategist & Mentor, Online Marketing Expert, Speaker, Writer, Copywriter. Mindset & Marketing For Small Biz Owners.  Her unique talent is as a “Back To Basics Step By Step Business” expert who currently serves more than 150,000 clients in over 136 countries. Her systems help the average business owner as well as big corporations get extra-ordinary results quickly. She has a track record for her ‘bringing it into action’ processes that company owners find easy to implement with quick results. She has been working online successfully for the last 14 years and built 11 successful companies ranging from eCommerce to Direct Sales to a Copywriting Firm, Marketing Business, Consulting, Coaching, Info Products and her current business A Real Change Int’l.

You Can Live the Satisfied Life

 

Living the Satisfied Life

by Olga Hermans

 

Have you ever thought about what it is that brings true satisfaction and fulfillment in life? How you can find that contentment that will last longer this time? We clutter our life with so much meaningless work and activities that it is easy to lose sight of the way that God has meant your existence to be. He designed us and it is up to us to discover the life we were born to live.

Life is meant to be enjoyable, fulfilling, and satisfying; there is so much more to it than just existing or struggling or even surviving. I just have been watching a teaching from Dr. Don Colbert and he said that things/material possessions only produce 10% happiness. Personality makes up about 50% and 40% comes from how we think, our actions and reactions. I thought that was very interesting, because we think, in our way of living, that things bring us the satisfaction that we desire so much.

Truly happy people have found that fulfillment finds its source deep within and is largely unaffected by external surroundings or material possessions. The world however thinks totally different; the world is always pulling us to buy this and do that and most of the times, we fall into that trap.

Several years ago, a U.S. news magazine conducted a survey, questioning people in various income categories. People with an annual income of $25,000 were asked how much money it would take for them to live “the American Dream.” The average answer was $54,000 annually. The same question was asked of people making $100,000 annually; their average answer was $192,000.

What do the results of this survey tell us? Until we come to the understanding that living satisfied comes from our heart and the way we think; our mindset, we will always think that we need more things in our way of living to reach our goal in life. A very rich man once answered the question of how much it takes to be rich with “just a little more”. That is what most people think “just a little more.”

Benjamin Franklin said it his way, “To be content makes a poor man rich and discontent makes a rich man poor.” To really enjoy a life of fulfilment on a daily basis, we need to have our eyes on the right source.

To enjoy this kind of fulfilled life on a daily basis, it is important for us to look to the right source. People around us and even our best family and friends cannot give us what we truly crave. People will always disappoint us, because we humans are fickle. We should never seek approval of others, material possessions or status because they are not meant to be in our days to give us that kind of lasting satisfaction that we think we so desperately need.

Oh yes, there is that superficial sense of satisfaction that can come from all kinds of sources, but that is not the kind of satisfaction that you are looking for, because they are always unpredictable and short-lived.

To be “satisfied” can be defined as the sense of having enough or doing enough; to be content; or to experience fulfillment and gratification. The problem is though that the average person never thinks or feels like has really reached that point of having done enough. That is why we need to have a close look at our perspective in life and to get a grip on the source of real fulfillment and lasting satisfaction.

Can you imagine how fulfilled your life with Jesus can be? His love and joy and abundance are living on the inside of us. Jesus isn’t fickle or inconsistent; He is always the same. He is the only person that you really can depend on. When we put Him 1st place in our life and we center our lives in Him, we become happier and stronger and on top of that we become much healthier in all areas of our way of living.

We have a better outlook on our way of living and because we feel so much better and feel fulfilled, our relationships flourish. Everything gets better, because our focus is not on other people but on Jesus who always causes us to triumph in every situation.

That is the key, that for a lasting satisfied life of fulfillment we need to become deeply connected with an intimate relationship with God. The person who created us to love us no matter what; the person that has experienced that is truly satisfied in the Lord because he understands that God is the only reliable source in his way of living. The only source that of true fulfillment, abundant provision, and lasting security.

This is how The Apostle said it:way of living

    …For I have learned to be satisfied with what I have. I know what it is to be in need and what it is to have more than enough. I have learned this secret, so that anywhere, at any time, I am content, whether I am full or hungry, whether I have too much or too little. I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me. Phil. 4:11-13

Paul tells us that we need to learn to be satisfied and that it is an attitude that we need to practice. You know, look at the children; they are never content on their own. They always want something new. Marketers know this for a fact; they place the goodies for the children on a lower eye level just for them. We as mommies have to tell them that they cannot get everything they want, right? Children aren’t satisfied with what they have; they want what they don’t have.

Sadly enough many people are still the same when they grow up. Teenagers almost always give in on peer pressure; they want to have the latest thing in the store because “everyone has it.” Far too often, that same childish behaviour carries on into marriages. Some people will always live with that constant feeling of dissatisfaction because of the things they don’t have.

There are far too many people who want to “keep up with the Joneses” and want to have the latest fashion and the latest gadgets or the newest car even. This dissatisfaction robs people’s joy and clouds their lives with discontentment.

Paul talks about attitude of contentment in First Timothy 6:6 (AMP):

“[And it is, indeed, a source of immense profit, for] godliness accompanied with contentment (that contentment which is a sense of inward sufficiency) is great and abundant gain.” Paul describes contentment as a sense of inward sufficiency. It is to be our source of immense profit.

Read again what Paul says in Philippians 4:11: “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.” This same idea is also found in Hebrews 13:5: “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”

A satisfied life comes forth when we live from the inside out; when we can see it on the inside it will automatically show up on the outside.

When we center ourselves in Him, we discover the depth of Jesus’ love for us, and this brings the fulfillment we long for. It is from this point that we discover the power and security of living a contented way of living. As you become clearer about how you want your life to look like and about who you are in Christ, you will watch it come to pass in your own life and that is the true satisfied life.

The moment we are content and at peace with God, we can be at peace with ourselves. His peace brings confidence, no matter who we’re with or how intimidating someone may seem.

Question: What are the things in your life that keep you back from living your life with contentment and satisfaction? Please share with us and the other readers.

You can subscribe to The Daily Choice which brings an encouraging message 5 days a week to your inbox by clicking here

How To Soar Into Your Dreams Like The Eagles

 

How To Soar Into Your Dreams Like The Eagles

by Olga Hermans

One of the things that all of us know about an eagle is, that they are always up in the air or sitting somewhere on the top of a tree in the mountains. But we never have to stop our car for an eagle, because it wants to cross the road. Eagles are born to fly; they force themselves to soar to great heights and glide on currents of wind; this is placed within them by their Creator.

You know, in a way, we are like that. When God created us; He planted a dream on the inside of us or a goal that would push us to go to heights of achievement. But for many, that dream remains just that, a dream. That soaring vision seems utterly out of reach.

Some people dream of having a business or a witty idea; a new invention. Others dream of raising a great family or great relationships. It doesn’t really matter what kind of a vision you have for your life. One thing is for sure, that God didn’t place that dream there to frustrate you. He had put it there for you to fulfill it and to live right in the middle of it.

We can learn many things from the eagle. Nature shows us that God exists and it shows us His character. Romans 1:19-20. The Amplified tells us:

“For ever since the creation of the world His invisible nature and attributes, that is, His eternal power and divinity, have been made intelligible and clearly discernible in and through the things that have been made (His handiwork). So [men] are without excuse [altogether without any defence or justification].”

The Bible uses the eagle frequently. Deuteronomy 32:11-12 is a metaphor for explaining the ways of God.

Let’s see what we can learn from the eagle.

Eagles are very fascinating, isn’t it? They have symbolized majesty, strength and power; the Bald Eagle is the national symbol of the United States. The ancient Egyptians and Greeks revered the eagle. The eagle was the primary symbol of the Roman Empire, as well. In fact, every Roman soldier had an eagle inscribed on his shield.

Ok, we are talking about your dream and mine . When the Bible talks about an eagle, it refers to the Golden Eagle. They mate for life, and when the time comes to build a nest, they typically do that high up in a mountain cliff. They start with large pieces of wood and branches of sometimes 8-9 feet long. These large branches are usually placed upon a sturdy rock ledge or in a cleft in the rock.

This reminds us of what Jesus told us that those that hear His words and act upon them are like a man who builds his house upon a rock (Matthew 7:24). And God hid Moses in a cleft of a rock in order to protect Him from the awesome power of God’s glory (Exodus 33:22).

The most important key to the fulfillment of your dream is to make sure that your life is built on the right foundation and that is Jesus. Nothing else will ever matter or be right until you surrender everything that you are and have to Him.
When the gathering of the large branches out of the valley is done, the eagle pair will look for smaller sticks and bring those to the nest-under-construction. When that is done the branches will be covered with leaves to make it soft.

When the nest is done and the couple is finished, the nest weighs between one and two tons and will be able to withstand frequent winds up to 100 miles per hour.

This is the moment to start the family. You will see that the way the male eagles deal with the baby eagles shows us a lot about how God deals with us.

The female eagle lays one or two eggs in the spring and after a few weeks the baby chicks come out. That is the moment that the male turns into a very skilled provider; he does whatever it takes to provide for all the needs of the family.

This is exactly what God does for us when we get born-again. All our needs get met, Phil. 4:19
The father eagle does much more than just provide the basic necessities, however. He literally showers his young ones with gifts.

Scientists still don’t know why, but the male eagle brings “gifts” before the baby eagles arrive; gifts that have no meaning and above and beyond the necessities of life. Things like an old shoe or some tin can and things like that. And then something funny happens; the mother eagle inspects everything and throws most of it out. 😉

This is something that shows us how much God cares for us. The bible tells us that He wants to do so much more for us than just filling our needs. It says that He wants to “bless” and “prosper” us. He “crowns” us with loving-kindness and good things. God enjoys it to bring good things into our life, just because we are His children and He loves us.

We can compare Baby Eagles w/ Baby Christians

When the baby eagle arrives, mom and dad do everything they can to please and support the baby eagle. All the baby eagles need to do is to sit in their nice comfy nest and wait for the food. Isn’t that what we do as a baby Christians? I remember the first months that I was born again; it seemed that all my prayers got answered right away. I saw many miracles happening in my life right and left.

But we all know those days don’t last forever. In the first season God makes a lot of grace available to us because we lack so much knowledge and there is absolutely no maturity.

But then slowly God is going to hold us responsible for the truth that we have heard and we have to start using our faith to get our needs met.

These eaglets have to do the same thing. The day comes that the mother eagle comes back to the nest not to provide comfort and provision as she always did before. No, she begins to flap her wings and walk around in the nest for the eaglets to get up and start moving. The mother makes the nest as uncomfortable as possible by even taking the leaves out which leaves the eaglets no choice than to get up and walk around. They are forced to strengthen their weak and unstable legs. Do you remember the verse in Deut.32:11?

We truly can get too comfortable as Christians, and there is a danger in being too comfortable for too long. That way you will never grow or develop the strength to achieve your dreams if God keeps giving you everything that you want the moment you ask for it.

Do you want to know what happens next? The mother eagle moves her babies to the very edge of the nest, which is 10,000 foot high above the ground. Whatever these eaglets are thinking or feeling at that moment is nothing compared what is coming up next.

The parent is going to do something that we would find shocking in our natural mind, because the momma eagle pushes her young out of the nest at that time. The eaglet has seen the parents fly and tries to imitate them by flapping his wings frantically with not much success.

And then, just before the eaglet touches the ground, the father comes to rescue and catches him and carries him back to safety. Wow! This is repeated over and over again; this is how the young eagle gets more and more confident and then after a while it flies with the same majesty of its parents.

Do you remember the post on procrastination where we talked about the fact that people keep waiting on God instead of taking some action? They don’t want to leave the nest. They cling tenaciously to the security and comfort of the familiar and the safe. As a result, they never step out into the realm of faith. And it is only in stepping out in faith that they can ever soar on eagle’s wings into their dreams.

Just as God has placed in every eaglet the desire to fly, He’s placed in every believer a vision or dream. A dream that is tightly connected to God’s high calling for your life. A desire to reach toward the lofty things He’s called you to do. So, when will you stop tolerating your unfulifilled life a start to discover the life you were born to live?

Far too few people ever take flight in those dreams because they’re afraid to leave the nest. They’re afraid to risk rejection. Afraid to fail.

Once you get a general idea of what that dream is, you need to let God refine it for you. Then, the only thing that stands between you and the realization of that dream is the comfort of your nest.

If you’re seeking God with all your heart, He’ll not let you fall to your destruction, even if you make a mistake. Psalm 91:11,12 says: “For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.”

There is no other way; when you want to live your dreams, you have to step out in faith. Never be afraid to dream. People who don’t dream, never will develop the motivation to step out of the nest.

Spend time with your God and let Him show you the dreams that He has for you.Then, when He’s refined that dream, step out of the nest with the confidence that comes from knowing He’s there to catch you if you fall.

Just remember, the only thing that limits God in this earth is how big you’re willing to dream and how willing you are to step out of the nest.

Do these things and you’ll ultimately find yourself soaring into your dreams.

You can subscribe to The Daily Choice which brings an encouraging message 5 days a week to your inbox by clicking here

Question: Are you willing to get out of your comfy nest and go for your God-given dreams? Please share and start a discussion; every reader will like you for it 😉

The Seven ‘C’s’ Of A Great Marriage

The Seven ‘C’s’ Of A Great Marriage

By Olga Hermans

Good communication involves talking, listening, understanding and taking action. Communication breakdown is the number one problem in marriage. It’s the number one cause of separation and divorce. A lot of people don’t realize it, because they relate their problems to some other area. But if your communication is proper and you have the ability to share openly, you can solve financial problems, and children problems.

If you want to live the life you were born to live; you have to be able to communicate especially with your spouse. It takes an effort on your part to communicate effectively with God and with the people who are around you. If you get your communication right with God, you can have the right communication with the people around you; communication is a process. Having a successful scriptural marriage isn’t an instant, or easy, task. But it can be done.; you just have to make a choice.

Not just by reading a book or this article, but by choosing to put the principles that God has given us to work day by day, moment by moment for the rest of your life.

Here are the seven “C’s” that probably will help you if you put them to work; you can use them over and over again

1. Communicate

Communication is listening and understanding what the other person is trying to express and you do your very best to understand the other person. Communication is also opening up and sharing yourself with another person, even if it means becoming vulnerable. Communication is the basis of any successful relationship.

2. Cover One Another

If you truly love your spouse, you won’t expose, humiliate, or condemn them whenever they make a mistake; you will cover them. 1Peter 4:8.

Wives, you won’t point your finger at your husband and tell on how often he fails to pray or how carnal he is much of the time. And husbands, you won’t point your finger at your wife and tell on how much she nags. No. You’ll cover each other’s weaknesses. Cover each other with love.

3. Cherish One Another

The word cherish there literally means, “To feel or show affection.” Ephesians 5:29 Showing affection can be done by showing gentle and caring emotion with one another. It is the number one need of a wife, but it is also very important for the men.

You know, affection will always give you that emotional thrust that you need when things get rough; you are able to act in love. It is the glue that will bond you together in good times and bad.

4. Comfort One Another

Comfort is a vitally important element that enables us to stand successfully against the devil in every area of our lives. It makes it easier for us to be patient. 2 Cor. 1:3

God wants you to be your spouse’s greatest source of comfort. There is nobody else that can bring him tenderness when they’re hurt. A word of hope when they are discouraged

You’re the one to bring them kind-heartedness when they’re hurt, words of trust when they’re downcast, and friendship when it seems the whole world has forsaken them. If you’ll do it, you will go a long way in giving your spouse the courage to move forward.

5. Compel One Another

Again, just as you’re to be the greatest source of comfort to your spouse, you’re also to be the one God primarily uses to compel them toward love and good works. You are the one who should encourage your spouse to do better in everything; to inspire each other so you won’t grow weary in doing the right things. Gal.6:9

6. Consult With One Another

Agreement is a foundational principle of relationship succes, Amos 3:3. It is impossible to walk together if there is no agreement. When you break that principle; there will be strife and your marriage might eventually fail. So check with each other to see if you can agree.

Your spouse is a gift from God; so don’t misuse it. Your spouse is your balance and the person that enables you to grow and develop in the person you have to become.

7. Cleave One to Another

Never lose sight of the need you have for each other. Gen. 2:24 Always remember that your spouse complements you in a way no one else can. No friend, no child, no parent, and no pet – as wonderful as they may be – can do more for you than your spouse.

So cleave to that one alone. Pursue the marriage relationship with a singular determination that will eventually make you one flesh – not just in concept, but in fact. That only can be done by thorough communication.

There are many jokes about how much women can talk and talk and talk, but it is based on facts I think. Yes, I as a woman have a real need of sharing conversation, not just the chatter that this joke always talks about. This is not a joke; otherwise the need of men for sex is also a joke.

There are different levels of communication; from a cliché level where you only talk about the weather. Then we can have this conversation where we only talk about the facts that we went through that day. Men have a tendency to think in terms of the headlines, while women think more in terms of fine print. We want all the details 🙂

But real communication has a total openness and transparency level; where we experience trust and are able to share completely and freely about anything and everything. This is a level where we don’t hide and cover up, no areas where you are limited or where you feel there’s a touchy subject you can’t talk about.

You need to set aside a time when you can open up and communicate with your mate on a regular basis, whether it’s over coffee in the morning, at breakfast or lunch, in the evening on the back porch or whenever. Identify some place where you can open up and share together freely.

You have to make a choice to decide, because there is much power of agreement in communication. Will you do it? Let us know in the comment section what stood out the most to you and what things do you want to change? Thank you for doing that!

This article was inspired by a book from my former pastor Billy Joe Daugherty “Building Stronger Marriages and Families”